Arkwardest/Embarrasing moments that ever happened to you?

[HarryCallahan]

socially awkward thread >>>

Shade>>>>>>>>>>>>

[Jameerthefear]

socially awkward thread >>>

that was an imitation

[Rake2204]

I didn't eat at Subway until I was 23 years old. The entire ordering process was overwhelming to me at the time. My friend told me to play it cool but I didn't know anything about cheese, bread, or toppings so I was flustered when put on the spot. I desperately tried to look ahead to the person in front of me to memorize the steps and plan out my requests.

I sweated my way through the entire process but I just about made a flawless order. I felt relief. I felt joy. Then the dude behind the counter asked me,

"Is this going to be a meal?"

Brimming with pride after my perfect order, I was thrown for a curve with what I perceived to be his forward advance and strangely personal question. I hesitated, then confidently responded,

"I don't know. We'll see."

The Subway employee paused. And stared blankly.

My friend froze. Turned his head. And stared blankly.

Meanwhile, I was feeling pretty good, facing forward, standing upright with my hands clasped in front of me, patiently awaiting my sandwich, just wondering why the Subway employee wanted to know if this sub was going to be all I was having for dinner.

Being as perceptive as I am, I realized my answer wasn't good enough. It appeared he wanted a definitive answer, so I gave it some thought and figured maybe I'd be eating something else once I got home. So when he asked me again if the sub was going to be a meal I finally concluded, "No, probably not." Mystified, the Subway employee accepted my payment and life went on.

My friend would later explain to me that a "Meal" at Subway was code for a sandwich, chips, and a drink.

I am retarded.

[Myth]

Caught by my mom looking at porn.

Caught by my HS friend's dad jerking it to my friend's porn collection (I thought I was the only 1 in the house).

That same HS friend was my college roommate, and he caught me jerking it.

My HS girlfriend was not ready to do anything besides over the clothes stuff. She jerked me off over the top of jeans. It rubbed me raw and I had a scab on my dick head. At school the next day I walked with a hand in my pocket to hold myself from rubbing and with a limp. When people asked what happened, I said I hurt my knee, but I felt very awkward every time somebody asked what happened.

[Myth]

I have a good one about a friend (the one who caught me jerking it). My friends and I had a running joke our Freshman year of college in which when a conversation got awkward, we pointed out the awkwardness by dropping our pants and just standing there in our underwear. One day we were eating in a Subway and we had enough people to occupy 2 small booths. My friend was in the outside seat of the booth (he is about 5'3" and 130lbs) and on the inside seat of the booth was another friend (about 6'5" and 300lbs). My smaller friend thought a conversation went awkward and undid his pants, but the moment passed. He kept them undone waiting for another opportunity. The girls at a nearby booth started throwing wadded up napkins at the bigger friend. He decided he was going to rush the girls so he tells the smaller friend to move and starts pushing the small friend out of the way. The smaller friend flew out of the booth, his pants fell down exposing tighty whiteys, and he landed on the floor in the middle of the Subway.

[Dictator]

Those two walls of text above seem like they could be hilarious if it were written in english.

[DonDadda59]

Happened just yesterday... I was walking through a park with a friend. I see a little kid running towards us while dribbling a soccer ball. It got away from him and came directly to me. I stopped it by putting my foot on top of it, only issue was the kid never stopped running full speed after it. He ran right into the stopped ball, tripped, went flying into the air, ATE IT... HARD.

Luckily he wasn't injured (as far as I could tell) but he hit the pavement with force. My friend and I helped him up and checked to make sure he was ok. His dad came along, looked pissed as hell, but didn't say a word. Just got his kid and walked away.

Shit was ugly

[Jameerthefear]

Happened just yesterday... I was walking through a park with a friend. I see a little kid running towards us while dribbling a soccer ball. It got away from him and came directly to me. I stopped it by putting my foot on top of it, only issue was the kid never stopped running full speed after it. He ran right into the stopped ball, tripped, went flying into the air, ATE IT... HARD.

Luckily he wasn't injured (as far as I could tell) but he hit the pavement with force. My friend and I helped him up and checked to make sure he was ok. His dad came along, looked pissed as hell, but didn't say a word. Just got his kid and walked away.

Shit was ugly

That must have sucked. It's one of those situations where you don't really see it coming so you can't avoid, but you would have understood if the father got mad.

[tmacattack33]

I didn't eat at Subway until I was 23 years old. The entire ordering process was overwhelming to me at the time. My friend told me to play it cool but I didn't know anything about cheese, bread, or toppings so I was flustered when put on the spot. I desperately tried to look ahead to the person in front of me to memorize the steps and plan out my requests.

I sweated my way through the entire process but I just about made a flawless order. I felt relief. I felt joy. Then the dude behind the counter asked me,

"Is this going to be a meal?"

Brimming with pride after my perfect order, I was thrown for a curve with what I perceived to be his forward advance and strangely personal question. I hesitated, then confidently responded,

"I don't know. We'll see."

The Subway employee paused. And stared blankly.

My friend froze. Turned his head. And stared blankly.

Meanwhile, I was feeling pretty good, facing forward, standing upright with my hands clasped in front of me, patiently awaiting my sandwich, just wondering why the Subway employee wanted to know if this sub was going to be all I was having for dinner.

Being as perceptive as I am, I realized my answer wasn't good enough. It appeared he wanted a definitive answer, so I gave it some thought and figured maybe I'd be eating something else once I got home. So when he asked me again if the sub was going to be a meal I finally concluded, "No, probably not." Mystified, the Subway employee accepted my payment and life went on.

My friend would later explain to me that a "Meal" at Subway was code for a sandwich, chips, and a drink.

I am retarded.

Absolutely hilarious.

Almost so hilarious that it seemed fake.

But i remember when i first went to a subway too and that sh*t was ridiculously confusing. And i still don't really know why they have particular names for sandwiches (italian bmt, black forest ham, etc) if you are allowed to just customize it yourself anyway...i guess maybe for pricing.

[Rake2204]

A few weeks ago I was hanging out with a girl I was trying to date. It was unseasonably warm on this particular evening so we ventured outside and tried to make good use of what was to be one of Michigan's last mild evenings of the year. We did goofy stuff. We stood together on top of a picnic table, we held our arms out like airplanes as we weaved in and out of a row of pine trees, we stared off into the sky... it was an awful romantic comedy montage.

Then, as we walked back to our cars, we spotted an empty plastic bottle in the grass and began to playfully kick it around. She was all full of energy and whatnot. Then she was like, "Wait, hold on" and she scampered a few feet ahead of me. Staring back at me, she widened her feet a little bit and encouragingly said, "Score a goal!"

Wanting to build off the innuendo that came with my date spreading her legs and excitedly telling me to score, I decided I'd slam this thing home with authority. I took two measured steps backward, as if I were prepping for a game-winning field goal, took a deep breath, and began my forward approach. Standing helplessly with arms at her side and feet spread, just five and a half feet in front of me, I full-force placekicked an empty Gatorade bottle directly into my date's face, right between the eyes.

Really killed the mood.

[outbreak]

I've got an embarrassing one from a few weeks back. I live in the suburbs about 40 minute drive out from the main central city area and I've never driven into the city before as it's usually quicker and easier to catch a train in and if I'm drinking I can't drive in anyway.

The other week my girlfriend wanted me to drive her to Ikea on the edge of the city, I've never had to park in a garage before that I had to pay for and I was driving my Dads big ass 4 wheel drive for the furniture we were buying, peak hour busy as hell and I pulled up too far away from the machine that you take your ticket out of before the gate opens. Was getting flustered not really knowing what I'm doing while my girlfriend just laughed at me trying to reach out the window to reach while keeping my foot on the break. Ended up having to put it in park and open the door to grab it. Luckily nooone started beeping me and it probably only took less than a minute but I was panicing.

A friend of mine did similar to the subway incident recently, at a work function we get to have travel time added to our pay, someone asked how long his drive was and he just kept saying "not long was a good drive".

[ace23]

A few weeks ago I was hanging out with a girl I was trying to date. It was unseasonably warm on this particular evening so we ventured outside and tried to make good use of what was to be one of Michigan's last mild evenings of the year. We did goofy stuff. We stood together on top of a picnic table, we held our arms out like airplanes as we weaved in and out of a row of pine trees, we stared off into the sky... it was an awful romantic comedy montage.

Then, as we walked back to our cars, we spotted an empty plastic bottle in the grass and began to playfully kick it around. She was all full of energy and whatnot. Then she was like, "Wait, hold on" and she scampered a few feet ahead of me. Staring back at me, she widened her feet a little bit and encouragingly said, "Score a goal!"

Wanting to build off the innuendo that came with my date spreading her legs and excitedly telling me to score, I decided I'd slam this thing home with authority. I took two measured steps backward, as if I were prepping for a game-winning field goal, took a deep breath, and began my forward approach. Standing helplessly with arms at her side and feet spread, just five and a half feet in front of me, I full-force placekicked an empty Gatorade bottle directly into my date's face, right between the eyes.

Really killed the mood.

lol

u smash tho?

[Jameerthefear]

this is more cringey than embarrassing, but there is this girl who looks like one of my favorite girls from the Moe Thread. I keep kind of stalking her... I'm starting to creep myself out.

[chosen_one6]

When I was working at Kohl's a few years back I was sick but didn't call out of work. My nose was runny as hell and I had tissue but the store was so busy I didn't have time to wipe my nose constantly. A couple came up and and I was ringing up there stuff when I saw a long drop of snot hanging from my nose. I apologized and wiped it as fast as I could. They stood there in complete silence and wouldn't even let me bag their stuff. They walked out without saying a word. By far the lowest I ever felt in my life.

[cuad]

When I woke up the next morning, she was a man.