Ass Dan is Jokes!

[Done_And_Done]

holy sh*t you just entered unchartered territory of lameness


@thorpe/D&D

i'm using these at work for cheap laughs

By all means brother...

Glad you enjoyed the lol's

[Premeditated]

So Ass Dan and his mother are walking in the park. He sees 2 dogs fukking, so he asks his mother (cause you know he's a virgin); "Mother? Whats that"? His mother says its nothing and "they're just baking a cake". Later they both go back to they're trailer park home and he sees two goats fukking. He asks the same question and his mother answer is the same. Next morning he asks his mother; "Mother, were you and father baking a cake in the living room? because I licked some frosting from off the couch."

[Legend of Josh]

A 10 year old boy (we'll call him Billy) is laying in his bed, can't sleep from the rain and thunderstorm. He hears his mom and dad making these crazy noises in the other room.

The next morning at the breakfast table, it's just him and dad - he asks "Dad, what were you mommy doing last night?" his father replies "well son, we were playing poker and your mother was the wild card."

Later on that day Billy gets off the bus and walks through his front door. His older brother and his girlfriend are out-in-the-open sexing on the couch. Billy goes back outside and plays in the front yard until his other brother's girlfriend leaves. After she leaves Billy walks back inside and asks his brother "hey, what were you and your girlfriend doing on the couch? Big brother replies "well bro, we playing poker and she was the wildcard!."

Later on that evening Dad gets home. As he's walking to his room he hears this smacking noise coming from Billy's room. Dad knocks on the door, "Son?" ... no reply ... "Billy, is that you in there?!" ... no reply.

WHAM!!! Dad kicks the door in. Shocked beyond belief he yells at his son "what the hell are you doing?!" ... Billy replies "DADDY! DADDY! YOU DON'T NEED A WILDCARD IF YOU GOT A GOOD HAND!"

[Dolphin]

A 10 year old boy (we'll call him Billy) is laying in his bed, can't sleep from the rain and thunderstorm. He hears his mom and dad making these crazy noises in the other room.

The next morning at the breakfast table, it's just him and dad - he asks "Dad, what were you mommy doing last night?" his father replies "well son, we were playing poker and your mother was the wild card."

Later on that day Billy gets off the bus and walks through his front door. His older brother and his girlfriend are out-in-the-open sexing on the couch. Billy goes back outside and plays in the front yard until his other brother's girlfriend leaves. After she leaves Billy walks back inside and asks his brother "hey, what were you and your girlfriend doing on the couch? Big brother replies "well bro, we playing poker and she was the wildcard!."

Later on that evening Dad gets home. As he's walking to his room he hears this smacking noise coming from Billy's room. Dad knocks on the door, "Son?" ... no reply ... "Billy, is that you in there?!" ... no reply.

WHAM!!! Dad kicks the door in. Shocked beyond belief he yells at his son "what the hell are you doing?!" ... Billy replies "DADDY! DADDY! YOU DON'T NEED A WILDCARD IF YOU GOT A GOOD HAND!"

How old were you when this happened?

[Legend of Josh]

How old were you when this happened?

I was 29. This just happened yesterday, remember Billy? Your mother and I have decided to take the internets away from you. You can't be trusted with they dirty sites.

[Dolphin]

I was 29. This just happened yesterday, remember Billy? Your mother and I have decided to take the internets away from you. You can't be trusted with they dirty sites.

Why are you asking your dad about the noises your parents make at 29?

[Ass Dan]

So Ass Dan and his mother are walking in the park. He sees 2 dogs fukking, so he asks his mother (cause you know he's a virgin); "Mother? Whats that"? His mother says its nothing and "they're just baking a cake". Later they both go back to they're trailer park home and he sees two goats fukking. He asks the same question and his mother answer is the same. Next morning he asks his mother; "Mother, were you and father baking a cake in the living room? because I licked some frosting from off the couch."

My mind rapage of YCC f@gatrons is continuing at an alarming pace.

[Ass Dan]

A 10 year old boy (we'll call him Billy) is laying in his bed, can't sleep from the rain and thunderstorm. He hears his mom and dad making these crazy noises in the other room.

The next morning at the breakfast table, it's just him and dad - he asks "Dad, what were you mommy doing last night?" his father replies "well son, we were playing poker and your mother was the wild card."

Later on that day Billy gets off the bus and walks through his front door. His older brother and his girlfriend are out-in-the-open sexing on the couch. Billy goes back outside and plays in the front yard until his other brother's girlfriend leaves. After she leaves Billy walks back inside and asks his brother "hey, what were you and your girlfriend doing on the couch? Big brother replies "well bro, we playing poker and she was the wildcard!."

Later on that evening Dad gets home. As he's walking to his room he hears this smacking noise coming from Billy's room. Dad knocks on the door, "Son?" ... no reply ... "Billy, is that you in there?!" ... no reply.

WHAM!!! Dad kicks the door in. Shocked beyond belief he yells at his son "what the hell are you doing?!" ... Billy replies "DADDY! DADDY! YOU DON'T NEED A WILDCARD IF YOU GOT A GOOD HAND!"

Its a bit long, but mos def


Q-What did Premeditated's sister say when she lost her virginity?

A-Get off me Dad you're crushing my smokes.

(btw she was 12...holllaaaaaaaa!)

[Premeditated]

Its a bit long, but mos def


Q-What did Premeditated's sister say when she lost her virginity?

A-Get off me Dad you're crushing my smokes.

(btw she was 12...holllaaaaaaaa!)

unfortunately for you, I don't have a sister. You were almost there.

[Legend of Josh]

Why are you asking your dad about the noises your parents make at 29?

I think you completely missed the part where I'm the dad and you're Billy. You were the one asking why me and your mother were humping and making crazy zoo monkey noises.

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

What did Ice Cube say when two houses from the sky fell upon him and nearly crushed him to death?

Get off me, Homes.

[CeltsGarlic]

2 potatoes in an oven, one says "shiii, its hot in here!" the other says, "Oh my god!! a talking potato!!"

[Ass Dan]

whaddaya call a Mexican woman with no legs?
















C*ntswaylo

[TheMan]

Why does the Mexican Olympic team suck? Because anyone who could run, jump or swim is already on this side of the border.

How long does it take a black chick to throw out the garbage?
9 months.

How do you fit 17 Jews in a BMW?
In the ash tray...