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Old 10-20-2010, 02:54 AM   #16
oh the horror
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Originally Posted by nash4eva!gosuns
I'm talking about the ones I've dated, specifically.



Maybe you just have trouble relating to men?
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:02 AM   #17
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Maybe you just have trouble relating to men?

THIS.
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:03 AM   #18
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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When I had a string of crap-tacular relationships, and kept meeting women that seemed shitty back in the day, I started to wonder if most women were assholes....OR.....was it me, not heeding warning signs, and paying attention to my own wants, and needs?


Sometimes, we kind of just meet someone, and we find them attractive.....and we tolerate their personality, ignoring red flags along the way.


Sometimes, we do not have our own shit together, and water seeks its own level so to speak. My buddy once told me some advice....

"to get the finer things in life, you have to surround yourself with the finer people as well"

Analyze wtf makes you go for men like that....what is the constant trait....is there a constant trait? Are they similar in ways? Are YOU somehow unaware in a trait in your own personality, that brings about them acting a way, or does like, attract like?


You kind of just have to think about it for awhile, and you can come to either a compromise with yourself, in terms of what you're willing to take on, and what you arent.....or.....you need to cut ties with people that immediately do not strike you as the types to work out at all.



I mean right now, you mentioned...having "4 to 5 potential relationships"



Now, ask yourself.....wtf did you need 4 to 5 for? You knew damn well which one of those men/women (whatever the fu*k) had the best chance there, so why waste time on some that werent PROBABLY going to pan out anyway?


Or, are you telling me, with a straight face, that ALL 4-5 or them meant something equally?




You're wasting time.



Plus, you can try dating. I dated alot....(no sex, just kicked it) with females....hung out with them, got to know them....recognized various signs that i disliked....and signs of things that i DID happen to like about particular women.



After awhile you come to learn, many people arent that different in the way we operate on a base level....with the exception of a few maniacs out there...most of us are similar. You should be able to spot the signs of something that is good....and something that isnt too good, depending on what you're looking for.






You just need more experience. And maybe you need to work on yourself a bit.....if you're not in a stellar position in life....around the right type of peoole, then you could be meeting the bottom feeders.

Honestly, there were like 2 that were interested but like for an intense, committed relationship and i'm not at a point where I can handle that right now. I got lots to focus on and I'd prefer not to have that kind of stress or anxiety in my life...unless it's someone that I really would put all that aside for. Meaning someone that isnt super-needy or clingy but is willing to accept the time and attention I can manage to give at this point in time. One that I really liked who really just wanted to be friends with benefits but I turned him down cause I don't roll like that. and then the other one who's been a long time friend and has liked me for a while...and it's flattering...we hang out n talk. he's like, my best friend but I don't see him that way and he got all butthurt like I was neglecting him or using him or something.

Maybe it's something about me. I don't know. I'll take it into consideration. Thanks.
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:04 AM   #19
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

Quote:
Originally Posted by oh the horror
Maybe you just have trouble relating to men?


Maybe. I'm not used to being with guys. Just as friends. I have tons of guy friends...but never anything more
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:09 AM   #20
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Originally Posted by nash4eva!gosuns
Honestly, there were like 2 that were interested but like for an intense, committed relationship and i'm not at a point where I can handle that right now. I got lots to focus on and I'd prefer not to have that kind of stress or anxiety in my life...unless it's someone that I really would put all that aside for. Meaning someone that isnt super-needy or clingy but is willing to accept the time and attention I can manage to give at this point in time. One that I really liked who really just wanted to be friends with benefits but I turned him down cause I don't roll like that. and then the other one who's been a long time friend and has liked me for a while...and it's flattering...we hang out n talk. he's like, my best friend but I don't see him that way and he got all butthurt like I was neglecting him or using him or something.



Okay, but in your initial post, you made it seemed like they magically just failed, and the bottom dropped from under your feet. You're telling me right there in your first sentence, that 2 of them you werent interested in what they were selling anyway, so scratch TWO off your list. You know what you want, so you need to make decisive decisions regarding you, and what you want from another human being.


And you need to work it out also, because you're setting up somewhat unreal expectations....you're dating people....not pets. You want someone that isnt super needy, or clingy, and can only accept the time YOU are willing to put aside for them.....and yet....you dont want a long term relationship at the moment thats heavy.....but you also do not want a casual friend with benefits either. So what DO you want then?


Maybe you shouldnt be dating at all at the moment?
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:15 AM   #21
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

Quote:
Originally Posted by oh the horror
Okay, but in your initial post, you made it seemed like they magically just failed, and the bottom dropped from under your feet. You're telling me right there in your first sentence, that 2 of them you werent interested in what they were selling anyway, so scratch TWO off your list. You know what you want, so you need to make decisive decisions regarding you, and what you want from another human being.


And you need to work it out also, because you're setting up somewhat unreal expectations....you're dating people....not pets. You want someone that isnt super needy, or clingy, and can only accept the time YOU are willing to put aside for them.....and yet....you dont want a long term relationship at the moment thats heavy.....but you also do not want a casual friend with benefits either. So what DO you want then?


Maybe you shouldnt be dating at all at the moment?

This is probably the better idea.

I'm not ACTIVELY looking for a relationship right now. I'm not looking to be with someone long-term. I'm open to the possibility that there may be someone I really like though...and if there is, I'm willing to re-consider that. When I say that I want someone who's willing to settle for the attention/time that I can give them, I'm not saying 'I'll call you when i feel like cuddling' or just a convenience thing. If I like you like that and I wanna be with you (which takes a lot) then I'll make sure to make time and put effort into it. It's just not something I'm purposely looking to do right now.
The point of the Original post though was the not talking part.

Seriously...none of them are talking to me now and it's annoying.And all of them the same day. Why cant we be friends? ♪
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:18 AM   #22
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

Quote:
Originally Posted by oh the horror
Okay, but in your initial post, you made it seemed like they magically just failed, and the bottom dropped from under your feet. You're telling me right there in your first sentence, that 2 of them you werent interested in what they were selling anyway, so scratch TWO off your list. You know what you want, so you need to make decisive decisions regarding you, and what you want from another human being.


And you need to work it out also, because you're setting up somewhat unreal expectations....you're dating people....not pets. You want someone that isnt super needy, or clingy, and can only accept the time YOU are willing to put aside for them.....and yet....you dont want a long term relationship at the moment thats heavy.....but you also do not want a casual friend with benefits either. So what DO you want then?


Maybe you shouldnt be dating at all at the moment?

If we put 2 and 2 together, I think she just wants a friend lol. If you can only accept the time you are willing to put aside for them and without benefits. Isn't that what friends are for?
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:19 AM   #23
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Originally Posted by BallsOut
If we put 2 and 2 together, I think she just wants a friend lol. If you can only accept the time you are willing to put aside for them and without benefits. Isn't that what friends are for?


maybe I should just get a dog.
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:23 AM   #24
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Originally Posted by nash4eva!gosuns
maybe I should just get a dog.

Dogs need your time and attention when they poop or are hungry
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:26 AM   #25
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Dogs need your time and attention when they poop or are hungry

Cat it is.
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:30 AM   #26
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Originally Posted by nash4eva!gosuns
***** it is.

fixed.

Now you're back to where you started
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:49 AM   #27
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

Quote:
Originally Posted by nash4eva!gosuns
That you got like 4 or 5 potential relationships (whether it be serious or friends with benefits or just whatever happens) and then all of a sudden, in one day it just all flips around on you

and none of those bishes talk to you anymore all of a sudden?

what're the fcking chances?



Please tell me this shit happens to everyone...

It happens to everyone.
I showed pics of my GF here, people "know her" .. and we break up last Monday.
She's going to play in Spain and we thought that we had a "too much serious" relantioship because we have just 20 years old so we break up .. but i don't wanna it i just said to her that she was correct to not suffer anymore.
It sucks, really.
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Old 10-20-2010, 04:02 AM   #28
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Originally Posted by Maga_1
It happens to everyone.
I showed pics of my GF here, people "know her" .. and we break up last Monday.
She's going to play in Spain and we thought that we had a "too much serious" relantioship because we have just 20 years old so we break up .. but i don't wanna it i just said to her that she was correct to not suffer anymore.
It sucks, really.

Hey bro i feel you. Being single is cool though.
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Old 10-20-2010, 04:27 AM   #29
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

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Hey bro i feel you. Being single is cool though.

But i was with her for about a long time, really.
Yea it's cool, specially if many people know your in your city (i'm lucky, for sure) but i like to have established relationships .. i don't like one night stands.
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Old 10-20-2010, 10:17 AM   #30
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Default Re: Has it ever happened to you...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BallsOut
fixed.

Now you're back to where you started
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