First one: I was in a bank
An old man walks in and proceeds to the teller. The teller is a dime so he tries to start chatting her up. This man had to be at LEAST 70 and the woman working there looked like mid to late 20's at most.
So the conversation (the parts I heard anyways) went something like this:
Old man - Hello there how are you doing? i'd like to make a deposit.
Teller - Ok sir, what's your account number.
O.M. - I'll give you the number but you gotta give me yours.
T - Sir, i'm not going to give you my account number.
O.M. - I meant your phone number you pretty young thing.
T- *laughs and looks at another teller*
O.M. - why you laughing girl? you think i'm too old for you? I could teach you a thing or two.
T - *laughs awkwardly and still looking at the other teller* sir, just give me the account number and i'll make the deposit.
O.M. - ok baby but you don't know what your missing.
Then he leaves and they just burst out in spontaneous laughter.
Conversation #2. Two kids who had just gotten out of school, they had to be about 7 or 8 years old.
Guy#1 - Yo, that ***** wanted to give me head so bad, I could tell. But I was like *****, you ain't putting your mouth anywhere near my dick until you get tested for STD's.
Guy#2 - damn dog, that's how i do too. I tell a ***** like it is. Before you hop on the L-train, you gotta get your ticket stamped at the clinic.
That was the bulk of what I heard, and I pretty much LMAO'd at that considering how young those kids were.
But found it equally sad that they were having that kind of conversation at that age.