i need advice, just found out the girl im sleeping with is pregnant.

[Brunch@Five]

The good thing is that you found out early. Basically let her know all of the options: you can keep it, give the baby up for adoption, or have an abortion. Let her know that a baby is not in the best interest for either of you. State that you don't have the money for a child and that she doesn't either. Let her know you still have goals in life that you want to accomplish, and that she does too. It's important to make it sound like you BOTH are dealing with this and not that it's only about what you want or what she wants. Also, let her know that you would want to have a child in the best possible scenario, which is you being financially stable and having a stable home. Tell her that because you don't know each other well, that there's a very good chance the baby will stress the two of you so much that it will strain the relationship and cause the two of you to split, leaving the baby without a father. Tell her that you DO NOT want the baby without the full support of both parents. The great thing about finding out early is that an abortion is extremely simple. All she does is take a pill, and the egg gets flushed out of her system (much like a period, only with more blood and tissue). There won't be a fetus so she won't feel so bad about it emotionally and mentally. The faster you convince her that having a child is not in the best interest of either you or her, the better.

However, I do need to add that if she does end up keeping the child, you need to be there and support her 100%. It's only your duty as the father of the child.

good post.

I have a little girl, turning 3 this december. I never was in a relationship with the mother, but it has turned out incredibly well, because
a) she is a great mother and sacrifices a lot
b) I took responsibility and care about my daughter, financially as well as emotionally
c) both our parents support us

I was 20 at the time and wasn't prepared for this at all. I asked her to have an abortion early on, but now I'm glad she didn't, and also that she doesn't chastise me for it. In hindsight I would not try to pressure her into an abortion again.

So if you feel that a), b) and c) would go similarly in your situation, don't be depressed. Good people will work a situation like this out. If, however, any of the 3 factors are in doubt, you should be in doubt too.
If your friend is willing to have an abortion, dealing with it emotionally will (fortunately for you) be a problem for her, not for you. So in that case, man up and pay for it.

[nathanjizzle]

thanks guys for the advice. today im feeling a little bit better. i talked to her and she said she was going to keep it and would never consider abortion. I myself would'nt try to convince her of it or force her too. I asked her if she was 100 percent sure it was mine, and she said there is a chance it could be her ex because she was with him a week prior to what she believes was the conception date. i also asked her about her birth control and she said a few days prior she forgot to take it. So i asked her when she was with her boyfriend if she missed any days and she said there were a few days she forgot to take it also. She hasnt told her Ex yet because she is "sure" it is mine, and will only let him know after my paternity test. We could have a paternity test done when the baby is old enough during pregnancy.

[General]

thanks guys for the advice. today im feeling a little bit better. i talked to her and she said she was going to keep it and would never consider abortion.

[Qwyjibo]

thanks guys for the advice. today im feeling a little bit better. i talked to her and she said she was going to keep it and would never consider abortion. I myself would'nt try to convince her of it or force her too. I asked her if she was 100 percent sure it was mine, and she said there is a chance it could be her ex because she was with him a week prior to what she believes was the conception date. i also asked her about her birth control and she said a few days prior she forgot to take it. So i asked her when she was with her boyfriend if she missed any days and she said there were a few days she forgot to take it also. She hasnt told her Ex yet because she is "sure" it is mine, and will only let him know after my paternity test. We could have a paternity test done when the baby is old enough during pregnancy.

Congratulations, your life is (probably) over. Then again, if all this is true, you have only yourself to blame.

[ballup]

Keep hittin' that. She's pregnant so you can't impregnate her again for quite some time.

[Meticode]

You're paying money either way (helping to raise it or child support). At least this way you are not wasting a large chunk of your life by being burdened with a child. It's definitely being an "awful person" but I'll take being an awful person while still having my life to live as I choose. Then again, I personally wouldn't make this mistake. Just in case though.

Damn, that's so selfish.

[Balla_Status]

Damn, that's so selfish.

Probably an Obama supporter.

I agree with you. Deadbeat parents are the worst. Take care of your kids. Kids require a lot of attention but they're pretty badass.

[Meticode]

Probably an Obama supporter.

I agree with you. Deadbeat parents are the worst. Take care of your kids. Kids require a lot of attention but they're pretty badass.

My daughter wasn't planned at all. But I wouldn't change the fact she exists. I have to give up a lot of things for myself and I don't regret it.

I don't know, I think if we went through with an abortion or something I would have regrets later in life.

[DetroitPiston]

GIVE ME AN "A"! GIVE ME A "B"! GIVE ME AN "O" GIVE ME AN "R" and you know the rest.

[Qwyjibo]

Damn, that's so selfish.

I know. I don't deny it either. It's a horrible thing to do but I can't stand children and I can't see myself ever giving up 16-20 years taking care of another human being. Life is too short for that. That's why option A is always an abortion

[Meticode]

I know. I don't deny it either. It's a horrible thing to do but I can't stand children and I can't see myself ever giving up 16-20 years taking care of another human being. Life is too short for that. That's why option A is always an abortion

If people are super-serious that about it, get the snip snip. I remember a co-worker of mine said she doesn't want any kids at all and she was engaged. And she didn't foresee any in the future. Most of the other women there were like "OMG Why?" And I'm like, "Why are you judging her? She's taking the personal responsibility of not bringing another human being into this world unwanted."

Then I said out loud to all the women there which was probably 7 or 8 of them, "I bet between all you women half of your pregnancies were accidents and not planned. What's wrong with her taking measures to not have a child when she doesn't want one?"

Half of them looked at me nasty as hell, but they didn't say anything.

[red1]

I know. I don't deny it either. It's a horrible thing to do but I can't stand children and I can't see myself ever giving up 16-20 years taking care of another human being. Life is too short for that. That's why option A is always an abortion

who woulda known Q is a closet scumbag lmao

[AK47DR91]

I'm 50/50 if I want kids or not. I'm scared I can't be a good dad. My "pop" was a deadbeat.

[Qwyjibo]

who woulda known Q is a closet scumbag lmao

Don't worry. I'm too smart to ever get into that situation. Just an absolute last resort desperation scumbag option.

[chazzy]

Follow the same course of action you took the last time you quit something, involving throwing something into a lake



jk, that's one of my biggest fears. Wrap it up dude.