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Old 03-23-2009, 08:49 AM   #16
JEFFERSON MONEY
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Ain't that big of a deal, brah.

Just confront him face to face. Tell him it'z phucking 2009, that it's a cold, hard practical world out here, and for maximum happiness we ought to cooperate as college classmates. Be civil but firm. He'll understand. Fact of the matter is he is thwarting stuff to his advantage as noted by his hypocrisy so if he's clever enough to do that he should be clever enough to get the message to lay off and respect you.

Another mo' radical alternative would be to join his Church/Mosque/Synagogue/Temple and for around 2 weeks become a devout member of the practice. Even moreso than him. This reverse psychology tactic will dismiss his a$$ and you'll know have the knowledge to verify whether or not "it's wrong" to allow him to do whatever.
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Old 03-23-2009, 08:55 AM   #17
wTFaMonkey
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

buy him a hooker?
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Old 03-23-2009, 08:55 AM   #18
JtotheIzzo
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

stick his toothbrush up your ass and take a picture of it.

get the picture developed and mail it to him.

enjoy
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Old 03-23-2009, 09:25 AM   #19
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Here's the plan:

Step One: Convert to Rastafari. That way, when you smoke dope, you can tell him that it's part of your religion, you're connecting with Jah. Explain to him that that's what the story of Moses communicating with the "burning bush" really meant. And throw pictures of Haile Selassie up everywhere. If he objects, tell him that if he won't respect your religion then you won't respect his. This now gives the two of you an excuse to jump him if he tries to physically intervene.

Step Two: Start hanging out with communists. It will scare the **** out of him (and yourselves, if you think about it, so don't think about it) to realize that people in his home are handing out revolutionary propaganda and may be getting busted up by NSA at any moment. As an added bonus, one of them may start a fight with the guy over his refusal to share rights to AC control.

Step Three: Hire a prostitute with herpes to hang out and seduce him. Don't go harder with AIDS, because if you put his life at risk it may be worth a lawsuit but herpes is just embarrassing **** that he won't want to tell anyone about. After she ****s him, have her say some **** like, "I know it may be hard for you to like someone like me, but I need to make a confession...I'm a prostitute. But, I think I'm falling for you." If he doesn't break the relationship off (and if he hasn't been laid before he could become a quick ***** addict) he'll find himself subsidizing a ho, making it harder to go after you guys for your porn. If he does break it off, you can rub it in subtly by pretending to be nice by buying him cold sore cream and acting like you have no idea why he's breaking out.

And lastly, only to be done if all else is failing:
Step Four: **** up on a bill, preferably one in his name. Get a new bank account, leave a penny in there, and then write a bad check on it. Will hurt your credit rating a little but the damage is not irreparable, especially if you make it ok with the bank. But every time you bounce a check off of his account, he loses money (amount differs depending on the bank). Don't reimburse him for it and he'll be furious but will have no real way to recoup the losses from you.

If you have any problems or concerns along the way, feel free to come to me for advice, as I find this far more amusing than I really should. It will make for a tough month or so, but you can make his life hell and make him want to move out badly. Good luck, and God speed.
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Old 03-23-2009, 09:48 AM   #20
dawsey6
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Well, I was going to say something like, "call him out in his smoking" or whatever, but I'm actually a lot more interested in what RMWG said, give or take the herpes part.

The Rastafari idea is hilarious.
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Old 03-23-2009, 10:09 AM   #21
pete's montreux
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

I'm still not sure why you give a f*ck? I would do whatever the f*ck you wanted. This guy has you two in the palm of his hands and he's working you like a Korean hooker, and you're taking it like a f*cking b*tch. Man up, tell him face to face that sh*t is gonna change or you're gonna throw his sh*t out on the lawn and be done with it.

Seriously, grow a pair. There's three of you and It's obvious who the man of the house is. You guys are just his two wives. Do you guys walk around in sundresses with lemonade, too? Who's receiving? Who's giving the reach-arounds?

Next you're gonna tell us he makes you wear heels and that's it, slaps your ass and calls you "toots".
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Old 03-23-2009, 10:14 AM   #22
Cannonball
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

giving the kid herpes because he's annoying?? you guys all act like ****ing women. all sneaky and ****.. jesus just man up and lay down the ****ing law... if he can't handle it then find someone else with a sucky roommate and swap him out.
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Old 03-23-2009, 10:21 AM   #23
Hawker
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

You remind me of what I was with my roommate last year. Also, the guy was seriously depressed and seemed suicidal so I just didnt **** with him since I was scared he was lose it any second. The dude had literally no life.

I have zero complaints about my roommate this year. Totally cool dude that isnt messy, isnt annoying, respects my stuff. Real cool. Doesnt have much of a life though and is having a hard time making new friends. Other than that, he's cool.
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Old 03-23-2009, 10:39 AM   #24
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cannonball
giving the kid herpes because he's annoying?? you guys all act like ****ing women. all sneaky and ****.. jesus just man up and lay down the ****ing law... if he can't handle it then find someone else with a sucky roommate and swap him out.
You're only saying that because you have herpes.
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Old 03-23-2009, 10:42 AM   #25
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Quote:
Originally Posted by dawsey6
Well, I was going to say something like, "call him out in his smoking" or whatever, but I'm actually a lot more interested in what RMWG said, give or take the herpes part.
I know it sounds severe, but much like Paul Atreides in that terrible '80s movie with Sting, the Man of Dune must realize that he's at war. And there are few things nastier that you can do to an enemy than to give them an STD.
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Old 03-23-2009, 03:09 PM   #26
craigthomasb
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

WWJD?

just do what chuck norris would do
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Old 03-23-2009, 03:16 PM   #27
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Quote:
Originally Posted by pete's montreux
I'm still not sure why you give a f*ck? I would do whatever the f*ck you wanted. This guy has you two in the palm of his hands and he's working you like a Korean hooker, and you're taking it like a f*cking b*tch. Man up, tell him face to face that sh*t is gonna change or you're gonna throw his sh*t out on the lawn and be done with it.

Seriously, grow a pair. There's three of you and It's obvious who the man of the house is. You guys are just his two wives. Do you guys walk around in sundresses with lemonade, too? Who's receiving? Who's giving the reach-arounds?

Next you're gonna tell us he makes you wear heels and that's it, slaps your ass and calls you "toots".
you have it mixed up...

if they were the wives then it would be them making all the rules...
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Old 03-23-2009, 03:18 PM   #28
Real Men Wear Green
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Quote:
Originally Posted by craigthomasb
WWJD?

just do what chuck norris would do
Secede from the union! Brilliant!
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Old 03-23-2009, 03:34 PM   #29
shafir
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Do what the **** you want. Put your music on full blast, keep the lights on at night, smoke weed and have sex on his bed.

He says something about it, confront him. Make him do something, if he does, **** him up.

ezpz
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Old 03-23-2009, 04:06 PM   #30
cpmayo
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Default Re: Roomate Rant

Quote:
Originally Posted by halffttime
lol freak him out.. when hes out, draw one of those stars with a circle around it on the floor and put candles around it.. then start chanting some tribal **** and let him walk in on you..


perfect idea
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