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Old 09-22-2018, 09:36 PM   #16
masonanddixon
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by nathanjizzle
ive never seen anyone die. can you paint a picture of that perspective.

It depends on the circumstances. Most of mine are cancer patients and some have a palliated death where they are given high dose opioids to speed up the death in a way.

The worst deaths are the ones that are unexpected. Like a very abrupt illness or a massive PE where no one expected it to happen. Or a symptomatic one where they vomit all over themselves. You never get used to it really.

I guess the point of it all for this chat is that after a while when you see enough of this shit you just get sick of people's bullshit. I can't be bothered to deal with nonsense anymore in my personal life. If a woman isn't quality, then I just abandon shiip immediately. Too many people get caught up in wanting companionship.
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Old 09-22-2018, 09:40 PM   #17
JEFFERSON MONEY
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by masonanddixon
Nah just don't use that guy's losers mentality.

You should be reading every great work of literature and listening to every great classical and jazz work.

You need to see people dying, dead, and in the process of dying.

This mentality of latching onto someone else and trying to find meaning in life will get you nowhere. Trust me on this. It's a loser's mentality.


Who said anything about attachment ? It's two independent individuals enjoying a harmonious relationship. Both had minds of their own prior--they challenge each other to grow. There are truths and meaning to life and the first place I recommend is that they can be found in the Quran.

And since you brought up the Bible... the ultimate goal of marriage is to come closer to God and part of that entails practicing chastity, sacrifice, raising children, going through trials and tests. If you think you as a modern male you are better than husbands of the past you are sorely mistaken.

Man and women benefit one another. In the act of loving man gains courage. In being loved woman gains strength. Both grow.

No one's "latching" on to any woman. On the contrary one upon making the marriage contract promises to lead teach provide protect and sacrifice --- the act of doing so will likely elevate one as a man more so than what you suggest.

If you foolishly think women are complainers and don't thirst for knowledge and spirituality then I don't know what to tell you. You wreak of erroneous beliefs.

Don't foolishly suggest someone to waste their precious time on Earth listening to jazz. There are superior creative outlets.

I'd strongly advise you be cautious about what advice you give because YOU WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE mason. .

Highwhey can work with his hands and make/build things that can benefit his fellowman.

And as highwhey grows spiritually he will encounter different woman.

Last edited by JEFFERSON MONEY : 09-22-2018 at 09:50 PM.
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Old 09-22-2018, 09:41 PM   #18
masonanddixon
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

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Originally Posted by JEFFERSON MONEY
Who said anything about attachment ? It's two independent individuals enjoying a harmonious relationship. Both had minds of their own prior--they cBallenger each other to grow.

I'm saying both individuals grow spiritually and intellectually together.

And since you brought up the Bible... the ultimate goal of marriage is to come closer to God and part of that entails practicing chastity, sacrifice, raising children, going through trials and tests.

Don't foolishly suggest someone to waste their precious time on Earth listening to jazz. Their are superior creative outlets.

No offense man but you're an idiot.
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Old 09-22-2018, 09:44 PM   #19
FKAri
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

I actually believe marrying younger is advantageous. I've seen how hard it is for people in their 30's trying to find someone. I think mid to late 20's is the perfect time to get married. You two hopefully are on your career path already, are old enough to not be complete idiots but are still young enough to adapt and grow with each other.
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Old 09-22-2018, 10:10 PM   #20
nathanjizzle
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

i honestly would like to have kids. I also think that merging a life with another would be better lived than just a single life. I fit the profile of the type of person to be great in other aspects outside of relationships and i really dont want to be that person. I have to tell myself to change that while i still can.
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Old 09-23-2018, 02:31 PM   #21
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

Quote:
I just wish I had more time at your age to explore the world but 26 is the right age to start. No man should marry or have kids before 35.
That's an interesting perspective.

Marriage seems to free the mind from distraction. The intimacy and honesty required to spend every day with an outside observer forces the person to follow their best and most productive impulses. Given the overwhelming amount of work to be done to keep a society humming, the married man understands that risks aren't worth it. In other words, marriage traps the mind inside a narrow focus, which it pursues with integrity. Our very worst fear is to disappoint someone who knows us too well. All of this seems to be grounded in our traditions and institutions. It's understood, and as a fact of life, the gratification and comfort of marriage is not going away.

But of that which comes before love is even meaningfully possible, of the expectations we have for the child, who does not know his own heart and cannot imagine the limits of its final destination, nor the satisfaction he will gain from finally reaching those limits: this is an open question, and maybe at the heart of highwhey's indecision.

The old story is that he should have gone straight to work. If society had not been so rich and tolerant of his entitlement to its fruits, he would already be married and focused and contributing to the harvest. Had his old man taught him the old way, to learn the value and the reward of hard practical useful important work, he would have been looking for the right girl since puberty, and some time between the ages of 18 and 25 he would have found her and 'settled on her' though that's not what he would have called it. Had circumstances been perfect, highwhey would be offering the advice rather than asking for it. He could be a composed veteran chuckling and clucking at the youngins who never figured it out because they weren't forced.

Which is all exactly right and perfectly to the point, but falling just short. It suggests what you might gain under different circumstances; such as responsibility, decisiveness, a quiet grounded careful confidence, and an easiness of heart in knowing that everything in the end will be alright. But it also ignores what might be lost.

It's that not-lost aspect, the stuff that was harboured and nurtured in indolence, which is what highwhey has that we all recognize makes him a genuinely affable honest good guy. It's a lot less easy to describe. I don't like highwhey because he can build me a shed, or because I can trust him with money, or because he won't get lost on a road trip. I like him because he thinks, by the looks of it, all too much. A common condition this day and age but not to be overlooked. It has an extraordinary value, historically speaking, for all its rarity. I like him because he's me but boiling over, a distillation of my essence. He is defined by hesitation and worry. All that time and energy he spent trying to grow up, he was really nurturing a neurosis. A different possibility of who he can be. And now he has to live with that other forever. He'll come out somewhere in between but the closer he gets to possibility, the more we love him.

Of course, I don't really know highwhey very well. His cynicism towards marriage is a stand-in for a larger story I'm projecting. But perhaps the truest story we can tell is the one about the stories we like to tell best. Now that we're returning to the old story, indeed the very oldest story we know, the one that grew out of ancient privation and our fitness to survive, the convincing story that accurately depicts our shallow needy reality; it's worth remembering highwhey's story too. We are all highwhey. And highwhey is in all of us.
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Old 09-23-2018, 02:54 PM   #22
sammichoffate
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

/Looks at Divorce Rate and Child Custody Rates for Fathers

Yeah man, idk. Do not settle though, you probably have a lot more to offer than your partner will. You need someone who will support you in the worst times and stand w/ you during the best times, not all these thots trying to f*** around and leave when they get tired of your d***.
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Old 09-23-2018, 05:28 PM   #23
highwhey
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RidonKs
That's an interesting perspective.

Marriage seems to free the mind from distraction. The intimacy and honesty required to spend every day with an outside observer forces the person to follow their best and most productive impulses. Given the overwhelming amount of work to be done to keep a society humming, the married man understands that risks aren't worth it. In other words, marriage traps the mind inside a narrow focus, which it pursues with integrity. Our very worst fear is to disappoint someone who knows us too well. All of this seems to be grounded in our traditions and institutions. It's understood, and as a fact of life, the gratification and comfort of marriage is not going away.

But of that which comes before love is even meaningfully possible, of the expectations we have for the child, who does not know his own heart and cannot imagine the limits of its final destination, nor the satisfaction he will gain from finally reaching those limits: this is an open question, and maybe at the heart of highwhey's indecision.

The old story is that he should have gone straight to work. If society had not been so rich and tolerant of his entitlement to its fruits, he would already be married and focused and contributing to the harvest. Had his old man taught him the old way, to learn the value and the reward of hard practical useful important work, he would have been looking for the right girl since puberty, and some time between the ages of 18 and 25 he would have found her and 'settled on her' though that's not what he would have called it. Had circumstances been perfect, highwhey would be offering the advice rather than asking for it. He could be a composed veteran chuckling and clucking at the youngins who never figured it out because they weren't forced.

Which is all exactly right and perfectly to the point, but falling just short. It suggests what you might gain under different circumstances; such as responsibility, decisiveness, a quiet grounded careful confidence, and an easiness of heart in knowing that everything in the end will be alright. But it also ignores what might be lost.

It's that not-lost aspect, the stuff that was harboured and nurtured in indolence, which is what highwhey has that we all recognize makes him a genuinely affable honest good guy. It's a lot less easy to describe. I don't like highwhey because he can build me a shed, or because I can trust him with money, or because he won't get lost on a road trip. I like him because he thinks, by the looks of it, all too much. A common condition this day and age but not to be overlooked. It has an extraordinary value, historically speaking, for all its rarity. I like him because he's me but boiling over, a distillation of my essence. He is defined by hesitation and worry. All that time and energy he spent trying to grow up, he was really nurturing a neurosis. A different possibility of who he can be. And now he has to live with that other forever. He'll come out somewhere in between but the closer he gets to possibility, the more we love him.

Of course, I don't really know highwhey very well. His cynicism towards marriage is a stand-in for a larger story I'm projecting. But perhaps the truest story we can tell is the one about the stories we like to tell best. Now that we're returning to the old story, indeed the very oldest story we know, the one that grew out of ancient privation and our fitness to survive, the convincing story that accurately depicts our shallow needy reality; it's worth remembering highwhey's story too. We are all highwhey. And highwhey is in all of us.


ridonks still amazing with the words i see. you’re really not far off from the truth tho, especially the nurturing a nuerosis/different reality for myself.
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Old 09-23-2018, 06:27 PM   #24
ILLsmak
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

How can you **** someone you don't wanna have a conversation with? Makes no damn sense. Why not just *********e. Much easier, unless you're worried about making sure people can't say "lawl ur not getting laid."

-Smak
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Old 09-23-2018, 08:11 PM   #25
highwhey
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ILLsmak
How can you **** someone you don't wanna have a conversation with? Makes no damn sense. Why not just *********e. Much easier, unless you're worried about making sure people can't say "lawl ur not getting laid."

-Smak
i met them through a “dating” app. these girls already know they want to get fvcked and the app facilitates the social pressure on being a slut.

as to why i do it: well, i have to fvck a girl every now and then or it builds up in me like a poison. i do feel feel morally bankrup afterwards tho, but that’s bc i was raised christian and fornication was looked down upon.
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Old 09-23-2018, 08:35 PM   #26
fsvr54
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

masonanddixon dropping some decent advice here.

ALWAYS work on yourself first... finding a wife (lol) shouldn't be a priority. If it comes, it comes, if not, oh well, you have yourself.

The concept of the "Renaissance Man" is the best way to live life imo, be good/knowledgeable at/on as many things as possible. The universe we live in is rife with experience and the more of it you explore the better off you'll be for it.

That being said, it is important to at least have a couple great friends.
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Old 09-23-2018, 08:44 PM   #27
90sgoat
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

I'm an unmarried loser so wouldn't know.

Here's the thing though, marriage shouldn't be about settling, it should be about 1+1=3, both literally as in becoming parents, but also like marriage is something two people can build and share, that has value and you can't get otherwise.

It just doesn't exist anymore, cause everyone are looking out only for themselves and everyone's jaded and everyone's been ****ed over and ****ed someone else over or watched too much porn and you get the point.
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Old 09-23-2018, 08:50 PM   #28
Real Men Wear Green
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

Everyone settles to some extent. If you are Tom Brady you can decide that Bridget Moynahan isn't good enough but I would guess that most of us couldn't do better in terms of wealth and standards of beauty than a famous millionaire actress. If you are fortunate you find a good woman that you can work with but if you are a 5 you should be realistic about that and not be thinking you are getting a 10. If you have the ability to better yourself then you can set your sights higher once you have raised your own level but realistically most of us are not going to marry Gisele.
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Old 09-23-2018, 08:51 PM   #29
kennethgriffen
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

marriage is for mamas boys


dont wanna die alone? get married at 60
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Old 09-23-2018, 10:18 PM   #30
PWB15
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Default Re: do you have to settle if you want to marry a woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Real Men Wear Green
Everyone settles to some extent. If you are Tom Brady you can decide that Bridget Moynahan isn't good enough but I would guess that most of us couldn't do better in terms of wealth and standards of beauty than a famous millionaire actress. If you are fortunate you find a good woman that you can work with but if you are a 5 you should be realistic about that and not be thinking you are getting a 10. If you have the ability to better yourself then you can set your sights higher once you have raised your own level but realistically most of us are not going to marry Gisele.

speaking of Brady the pats are losing on NBC
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