ever get with a girl you work with?

[andgar923]

I'd bang her and worry about the rest later. I make poor choices though.

[Abd El-Krim]

DON'T DO IT!

This situation has been replayed millions of times and it almost never ends well.

Try your best to avoid it, to get over her, there isn't a clear easy way out, but it seems like you like her and it's not just sexual which is the worst. Look for the slightest flaw and magnify that shit if it helps you get over her. Cause if you don't soon, it'll end badly.

Yeah I've turned down a few lays in the workplace - easy to do when that's all it is. But this girl is funny/smart/sexy/etc. Definitely got me messed up in the head to even be thinking about it. I've only been stuck like this 2 times before.

I'm going to keep playing the long game but damn, if I bump into her out one night or end up traveling with her for work it will be impossible. Maybe I can get her fired...

[mlh1981]

Don't go fishing off the company pier.

[Rake2204]

George: Ava was one of the reasons I used to like going to work. She was a
friend. Now we sleep together and suddenly, I don't know how to talk to her.
Every time I go to the bathroom I pass her desk. I have to plan little patterns.
I spend half my day writing! Then afterwards, I sit in my office and analyze
how it went. If it was a good conversation, I don't go to the bathroom for the
rest of the day. I see her laughing and talking with other people, they're all
so loose and relaxed, I think, 'that used to be me. I want to go back there
again.'

Jerry: What are you gonna do?

George: I have no choice, I'm quitting.

Prettay timely reference.

How do you guys feel about a situation where the employ is relatively temporary, meaning one or both may be done working at this particular job by summer?

[RidonKs]

Yeah I've turned down a few lays in the workplace - easy to do when that's all it is. But this girl is funny/smart/sexy/etc. Definitely got me messed up in the head to even be thinking about it. I've only been stuck like this 2 times before.

I'm going to keep playing the long game but damn, if I bump into her out one night or end up traveling with her for work it will be impossible. Maybe I can get her fired...

i dunno... if you're actually interested in a long term relationship and this girl meets your quota like you've said, i'd say f*ck the rest and go for it. only if you're relatively certain she doesn't have some personality trait that will eventually drive you nuts, though you can never be totally certain about something like that. if there's even a 20% chance she might turn into 'the one', well...

and in the case of a messy break-up, well, can you just overpower that shit and put yourself above the awkwardness? i just admitted to a girl/best friend of mine that i've been head over heels for her for about five years... this girl is so goddamn perfect and i wanted her so bad that over the past few months, i actually managed to read into the smallest details of our interactions -- a smile here, an invitation to a movie there, arm on the shoulder, stuff that had been going on since we f*cking met -- and convince myself she was completely in love with me. i was 100% on it and giddy as shit. then one fateful night i drop by her house for a quick visit and woooops!!! there she is with another guy, Dan or something. i managed to get out of there without making a total fool of myself (though walking down the stairs shellshocked, i slipped on the ice and fell on my ass), but it tore me apart. she noticed my reaction and apparently had been feeling bad for the past week, realizing i still thought we had a chance. then a few nights ago i finally got the opportunity to have 'the talk' with her where i explained what had been going on in my head for the past few months, and she told me concretely (though i sorta had to egg the words outta her), nope, i've never seen you as more than a friend, sorry... but i had long ago decided the friendship was worth getting over this bullshit because we get along so well and she's somebody i truly respect. now i feel like the ice, at least on my end, has been broken and i can carry on, find somebody new, stop obsessing about her 24/7. and the common point in our stories is that i also work with her twice a week... and that's something i'm just gonna have to face up to and not let it overwhelm my psyche. personally i think i'm up to the task.

point is, if shit does go sour, you don't reckon you'll be able to stay above the drama and behave like a civilized adult when you're around her anyway? it sure as shit ain't easy but some people are capable. and if it drives her crazy, well f*ck it that's great, she'll quit and it's sunshine and rainbows all over again.

maybe this is the absolute wrong thing you wanna hear at this point and i'm giving horrendous advice given that i have little experience in the matter apart from the story above. nevertheless, it's rare to meet a chick who has all of the features you described above and who you think you have a legitimate shot with... i say go klondike or bust.

[Abd El-Krim]

Damn, that's a depressing story. Other than the part about Dan who sounds really cool. At least you know now, right?

[RidonKs]

exactly. and i feel a million times better as a result. but for that week and a half, between finding out that she was actively dating somebody not named me and having the conversation that solidified my worst fears, i literally drove myself up the wall. every second i was awake, i wanted to think of her. never went through any sorta obsession like that before in my life, i actually had to build a psychological barrier with a few chosen topics where every time she popped into my head, i'd mentally hop tracks over to something else lol

funniest part about it was the way finally spilling all the beans actually came along; we were walking away from work about to go our separate ways, she asked me why i had been so quiet that night at work, i said (very obviously) "you probably aren't the right one to talk to about it"... and she immediately understood. but then her next words were "btw, i wanted to apologize to you for last sunday night, i should have told you". and in my retarded head, trying to use ANYTHING to convince me she was into me, the first thought was "shit, she's apologizing not for accidentally leading me on but because SHES LOVED ME THE WHOLE TIME FINALLY EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT!"

the one thing i learned was that the mind can interpret anything in a way preferable to the loins, truths get stretched, bias selects evidence, and the rest of the situation gets buried so deep you forget the mountains of contradictory facts that should have brought you to the right conclusion in the first place

anyway, i'm still a little heartsick, but nothing a new love interest won't let me overcome... hopefully that comes along soon, i've never been much for just 'picking up'.



but enough about me... you didn't answer so i'll reiterate... you don't think you could plow on through the awkwardness, talk to her up front about it, just normalize shit through sheer power of will.... on the chance it goes bad? with full knowledge of the potential for uber happiness if everything works out like a romcom?

[andgar923]

Yeah I've turned down a few lays in the workplace - easy to do when that's all it is. But this girl is funny/smart/sexy/etc. Definitely got me messed up in the head to even be thinking about it. I've only been stuck like this 2 times before.

I'm going to keep playing the long game but damn, if I bump into her out one night or end up traveling with her for work it will be impossible. Maybe I can get her fired...

I wrote about my experience last year.

It was hell for me for 6 long months, I simply couldn't function at work. If she was there I spent my time trying to spend time with her, when she wasn't there, I spent my time thinking about her. I was like you, this girl is pretty, cute, sweet, sexy, she was my type to a tee. There's other girls where I work, some that are wayyy hotter, and not to brag, but some of them want me (badly). But I don't care for them at all. This girl tho, drove me crazy like only 1 other girl has in my life.

But there was some major problems.

For starters, we work together... and I've been there and done that, and it doesn't work well, unless it's purely sexual... even then.

And worst part of all.....

She's married with a kid, I'm engaged.

I tried my hardest to get over her, but I couldn't. So I finally told her how I felt.

I can't stand her now, she's a selfish c#nt attention whore. Not because she didn't feel the same, on the contrary. She never told me how she felt, even tho if we kept hanging out with each other, both of us would've fallen in love and she would've left her husband. She actually told my other co-worker how I "messed things up". And as we all know women, she had a plan... my guess is she wanted me to breakup with my fianc

[L.Kizzle]

This one chick I haven't even mashed yet don't talk to me anymore. At work she asked me to help her with something and I said no, now everytime she see me she just walk past like I don't exist anymore, lol dumb bi t ch.

[Nick Young]

i dunno... if you're actually interested in a long term relationship and this girl meets your quota like you've said, i'd say f*ck the rest and go for it. only if you're relatively certain she doesn't have some personality trait that will eventually drive you nuts, though you can never be totally certain about something like that. if there's even a 20% chance she might turn into 'the one', well...

and in the case of a messy break-up, well, can you just overpower that shit and put yourself above the awkwardness? i just admitted to a girl/best friend of mine that i've been head over heels for her for about five years... this girl is so goddamn perfect and i wanted her so bad that over the past few months, i actually managed to read into the smallest details of our interactions -- a smile here, an invitation to a movie there, arm on the shoulder, stuff that had been going on since we f*cking met -- and convince myself she was completely in love with me. i was 100% on it and giddy as shit. then one fateful night i drop by her house for a quick visit and woooops!!! there she is with another guy, Dan or something. i managed to get out of there without making a total fool of myself (though walking down the stairs shellshocked, i slipped on the ice and fell on my ass), but it tore me apart. she noticed my reaction and apparently had been feeling bad for the past week, realizing i still thought we had a chance. then a few nights ago i finally got the opportunity to have 'the talk' with her where i explained what had been going on in my head for the past few months, and she told me concretely (though i sorta had to egg the words outta her), nope, i've never seen you as more than a friend, sorry... but i had long ago decided the friendship was worth getting over this bullshit because we get along so well and she's somebody i truly respect. now i feel like the ice, at least on my end, has been broken and i can carry on, find somebody new, stop obsessing about her 24/7. and the common point in our stories is that i also work with her twice a week... and that's something i'm just gonna have to face up to and not let it overwhelm my psyche. personally i think i'm up to the task.

point is, if shit does go sour, you don't reckon you'll be able to stay above the drama and behave like a civilized adult when you're around her anyway? it sure as shit ain't easy but some people are capable. and if it drives her crazy, well f*ck it that's great, she'll quit and it's sunshine and rainbows all over again.

maybe this is the absolute wrong thing you wanna hear at this point and i'm giving horrendous advice given that i have little experience in the matter apart from the story above. nevertheless, it's rare to meet a chick who has all of the features you described above and who you think you have a legitimate shot with... i say go klondike or bust.

damn 5 years, sorry, feel for you dude, I went through same thing but only lasted 2 years and ended when I turned 16 so isn't quite the same but that sucks dick.

After that I learned to never let yourself get in to friend zone of girls I meet who I feel attracted to after getting to know them at first. Kiss of death.

[RidonKs]

damn 5 years, sorry, feel for you dude, I went through same thing but only lasted 2 years and ended when I turned 16 so isn't quite the same but that sucks dick.

After that I learned to never let yourself get in to friend zone of girls I meet who I feel attracted to after getting to know them at first. Kiss of death.

yeah... it was definitely a learning experience. thankfully it came at a time in my life where i'm finally gaining some confidence and i can deal without falling off the map. i just need to learn to get out there and f*ck some women haphazardly without it turning into a 'thing'. never done that but i've learned how charming i really am with a bit of a serpent tongue, so i'm expecting big things in the near future. just gotta put myself out there.

[Abd El-Krim]

exactly. and i feel a million times better as a result. but for that week and a half, between finding out that she was actively dating somebody not named me and having the conversation that solidified my worst fears, i literally drove myself up the wall. every second i was awake, i wanted to think of her. never went through any sorta obsession like that before in my life, i actually had to build a psychological barrier with a few chosen topics where every time she popped into my head, i'd mentally hop tracks over to something else lol

funniest part about it was the way finally spilling all the beans actually came along; we were walking away from work about to go our separate ways, she asked me why i had been so quiet that night at work, i said (very obviously) "you probably aren't the right one to talk to about it"... and she immediately understood. but then her next words were "btw, i wanted to apologize to you for last sunday night, i should have told you". and in my retarded head, trying to use ANYTHING to convince me she was into me, the first thought was "shit, she's apologizing not for accidentally leading me on but because SHES LOVED ME THE WHOLE TIME FINALLY EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT!"

the one thing i learned was that the mind can interpret anything in a way preferable to the loins, truths get stretched, bias selects evidence, and the rest of the situation gets buried so deep you forget the mountains of contradictory facts that should have brought you to the right conclusion in the first place

anyway, i'm still a little heartsick, but nothing a new love interest won't let me overcome... hopefully that comes along soon, i've never been much for just 'picking up'.



but enough about me... you didn't answer so i'll reiterate... you don't think you could plow on through the awkwardness, talk to her up front about it, just normalize shit through sheer power of will.... on the chance it goes bad? with full knowledge of the potential for uber happiness if everything works out like a romcom?

I'm not worried about my ability to handle the situation, but this girl may turn out to be an absolute nutjob once we get involved. I tend to attract those types. And people talk. There are those I work with who would frown upon me using the staff as a hunting grounds. Those are my main concerns.

How would an up front conversation about that go? That's not really my style either. In this instance we both know each other pretty well so I suppose there could be some sort of graceful way to address the topic of workplace relationships ahead of time. Experience just makes me shy away from that. Nothing gets you friend-zoned faster than telling a girl you like her, you have to show her. She is very career oriented so for all I know she has the same reservations if not more. And of course, there's no way to discuss the possibility of her being batshit.

Anyway, my buddy called me a bitch over this whole situation earlier and I'm starting to agree. I need to just make a move already or decide to leave it alone because of the risks instead of theorizing potential outcomes, good or bad. Making a move is going to be hell of a lot easier than trying to reprogram my brain. And **** romcoms, that type of pipedream shit is what has me considering this in the first place.

[blablabla]

work?

bitch please

[Abd El-Krim]

[QUOTE=andgar923]I wrote about my experience last year.

It was hell for me for 6 long months, I simply couldn't function at work. If she was there I spent my time trying to spend time with her, when she wasn't there, I spent my time thinking about her. I was like you, this girl is pretty, cute, sweet, sexy, she was my type to a tee. There's other girls where I work, some that are wayyy hotter, and not to brag, but some of them want me (badly). But I don't care for them at all. This girl tho, drove me crazy like only 1 other girl has in my life.

But there was some major problems.

For starters, we work together... and I've been there and done that, and it doesn't work well, unless it's purely sexual... even then.

And worst part of all.....

She's married with a kid, I'm engaged.

I tried my hardest to get over her, but I couldn't. So I finally told her how I felt.

I can't stand her now, she's a selfish c#nt attention whore. Not because she didn't feel the same, on the contrary. She never told me how she felt, even tho if we kept hanging out with each other, both of us would've fallen in love and she would've left her husband. She actually told my other co-worker how I "messed things up". And as we all know women, she had a plan... my guess is she wanted me to breakup with my fianc

[andgar923]

lol @ you messing things up. What things? It's a risky enough situation as is but when both people are in relationships it has to end messy for somebody. And even had you been happy as a person can be - everyone you work with would be talking shit about how you'd gotten together and passing judgment about you as people. No win situation there. Sounds like you're lucky to have gotten out of that one.

I've always asked myself what exactly did I mess up. I'll never know cause we don't speak at all.

I didn't want people to be gossiping about us, but she opened her mouth and told people how I felt about her. She didn't solely tell her closest friend at work, she told damn near everybody behind my back. Why? I have no clue and I'll probably never know. Can you imagine if people at work knew how you felt about this girl behind your back? utter humiliation, I hated going to work, and hearing slight comments directed at me or behind my back. Seeing/hearing people whispering and then smile at me. People that were really cool and close to me were now acting distant, as it I had done something wrong. It was an awful time for me, not just at work but in general, cause it was always on my mind.

I share all this cause one never knows what they'll get into. You obviously have 'feelings' for this girl, and it isn't just a sexual attraction. Not to say that this will happen to you, but it's something to consider.

I'm not sure how your job is structured, or what your duties are, but my performance at work changed dramatically. Bad enough that my manager warned me about my performance, and I thought about quitting. Not just getting transferred, but actually quit altogether. One doesn't know how things will evolve or how they'll turn out, until it's too late.

Keep clear dude.