Hear Me Out
Yeah, youíve all been talking about it. I used someone elseís joke. Whatís the big deal? I thought it was funny, I blogged it, you all laughed.
Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. Heís no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.
The joke was worth about $7 when I heard it, now that Iíve used itís probably worth a little bit more. Iíll sell it back to him for $7.78. Seventy-eight cents, Ian, you can put that in a royalties check made out to me.
Puffy and Ashanti made careers out of stealing other peopleís beats. This is America, the land of the reused.
If you think about it, nothing is original. Every joke has been retold at some point. What I did was recycle a new joke instead of waiting for it to get old. It was too funny not to. I mean, at least I picked a good joke, right? Itís not like it was some lame, ďYo mommaĒ joke.
Letís not forget, ďHibachiĒ was stolen too. Brendan Haywood used to say it before me. But I recognize good stuff and make it popular. Now ďHibachiĒ is patented by Agent Zero, son.
Iím not a thief, I just reused it.
Know who is a thief? The guy that is trying to sell the domain name of GilbertArenas.com to me. Itís my name! I have to buy it back from him. Now thatís stealing, borrowing, whatever you want to call it.
I mean they were even talking about it on PTI. Patrick McEnroe was saying I should quit making jokes about sharks and worry about rehabbing. Patrick, youíre right, I should be focusing on my knee. I guess taking 15 minutes to tell a joke doesnít leave 23 hours and 45 minutes the rest of the day to be working on my knee. Rome was killing me too, but Romeís my boy so I canít say anything bad about him.
Patty Mac, shouldnít you be ďfocusingĒ on talking about real sports that are going on? I didnít realize that telling jokes can get me on PTI. I should do it more often.
Did you hear the one about the monkey and the dog Ö
I would finish the joke, but I already spent too much time on this post and need to get back to the gym according to McEnroe.
Before I do though, Iím going to go play with my new pet. Itís called a ďliger.Ē Itís a cross between a tiger and a lion. I made it up. Man, Iím so original.
(Yes, I stole that from Napoleon Dynamite. Rent it. Itís funny.)
Oh yeah, Bow Wow gave me a shout out on my jeans, Fly Jeans, in his new song with B-5 so I just wanted to give him a shout out too.