Message Board Basketball Forum - InsideHoops

Go Back   Message Board Basketball Forum - InsideHoops > InsideHoops Main Basketball Forums > Off the Court Lounge

Off the Court Lounge Basketball fans talk about everything EXCEPT basketball here

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-29-2013, 11:31 AM   #1
rezznor
Nosetradamus
 
rezznor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Tonga
Posts: 16,919
Default JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

http://laluttecontinue.tumblr.com/po...o-gold-diggers



Quote:
This might be the best thing Iíve seen in a while:

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

Iím going to be honest of what Iím going to say here.
Iím 25 this year. Iím very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that Iím greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those Iíve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
Iím here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? Iíve met a few girls who donít have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that Iím not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what youíre trying to do is an exchange of ďbeautyĒ and ďmoneyĒ : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, thereís a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you canít be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. Itís not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a ďtrading positionĒ.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or ďleasedĒ.
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

rezznor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 11:35 AM   #2
lefthook00
College star
 
lefthook00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,931
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

A few years old and that's not Jamie Dimon, but so classic . I love when gold diggers get shut down like that. Restores balance to the universe.
lefthook00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 12:25 PM   #3
East_Stone_Ya
Gentleman Desperado
 
East_Stone_Ya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: East_Side_Of_The_Rawkus
Posts: 5,119
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

yeah it's old but it still get's me every time
East_Stone_Ya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 12:44 PM   #4
bagelred
Stare
 
bagelred's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 26,893
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

The CEO of JP Morgan is making ALOT more than 500k. At least 10X that......
bagelred is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 12:49 PM   #5
MavsSuperFan
NBA sixth man of the year
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 7,141
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Originally Posted by bagelred
The CEO of JP Morgan is making ALOT more than 500k. At least 10X that......
10x that is only 5 million.

Counting stock options and other bonuses I would be amazed if jamie dimon was making less than 100 million a year.

Edit: I looked it up and he is only making 27.5 million a year. Makes sense now that I think about it. He is only the CEO and not a major shareholder
MavsSuperFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 01:20 PM   #6
bagelred
Stare
 
bagelred's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 26,893
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Originally Posted by MavsSuperFan
10x that is only 5 million.

Counting stock options and other bonuses I would be amazed if jamie dimon was making less than 100 million a year.

Edit: I looked it up and he is only making 27.5 million a year. Makes sense now that I think about it. He is only the CEO and not a major shareholder

Yeah, I was being ultra conservative with 5 mil/year. I didn't want the trolls to come back and say I overstated the number. Point is....he makes a lot of money. 500k is nothing.....
bagelred is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 01:49 PM   #7
DeuceWallaces
NBA Legend
 
DeuceWallaces's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 18,027
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

I remembered this as being funnier.
DeuceWallaces is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 01:59 PM   #8
OldSkoolball#52
Banned
 
OldSkoolball#52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,498
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Originally Posted by lefthook00
A few years old and that's not Jamie Dimon, but so classic . I love when gold diggers get shut down like that. Restores balance to the universe.


And yet, practically every day there's a man somewhere making over 500k who makes a bad/hasty marriage decision and ends up losing half his fortune.

Gold digging has survived as the world's oldest profession for a reason.
OldSkoolball#52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 03:42 PM   #9
macmac
Gov'n
 
macmac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,145
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldSkoolball#52
And yet, practically every day there's a man somewhere making over 500k who makes a bad/hasty marriage decision and ends up losing half his fortune.

Gold digging has survived as the world's oldest profession for a reason.

Prostitution is the oldest profession, which is completely finE, not dirty schemes like gold digging. You think a girl would get half back in the Middle Ages? Half a foot up her ass, maybe.

And before tgat, eye for an eye was the rule of the day. If she gets half, I get to keep half her body. Fukk this bs

Bottom part is all you need anyways, no bitching, and you can smooth out the torso and turn it into a surface to put your beer on. She can go become a fkin siren or something

Last edited by macmac : 08-29-2013 at 03:44 PM.
macmac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 03:51 PM   #10
OldSkoolball#52
Banned
 
OldSkoolball#52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,498
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Originally Posted by macmac
Prostitution is the oldest profession, which is completely finE, not dirty schemes like gold digging. You think a girl would get half back in the Middle Ages? Half a foot up her ass, maybe.

And before tgat, eye for an eye was the rule of the day. If she gets half, I get to keep half her body. Fukk this bs

Bottom part is all you need anyways, no bitching, and you can smooth out the torso and turn it into a surface to put your beer on. She can go become a fkin siren or something



Not sure what this gibberish is supposed to mean, but marriage entitlements were stricter back in the "middle ages" not more lenient. First of all divorce was very rare because of the power of religious rule then, in fact for a long time (and even in America up until the 20th century) there were laws about even breaking off an engagement to a woman. If you proposed to a woman and then went back on it you could be convicted of a crime.

And yes, prostitution is gold digging. You think any of these prostitutes wouldn't RATHER just marry some rich guy if they could instead of working as prostitutes??

"I may be selling my body 15 times a night to strangers... but I'd never marry for money! That's beneath me..."

OldSkoolball#52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 03:53 PM   #11
Rasheed1
NBA All-star
 
Rasheed1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 9,895
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

Women have always looked to marry into wealth... I'm reading some Jane Austen novels and that was a bigger part of society in 18th century England than it is now..

Men want beauty.. Women want stability...

I think the issue now is that "gold diggers" arent known to fulfill their end of the bargain (bearing kids mostly)

also, men with money dont value the "traditional family" setup as much it seems they did in the past..

any relationship is doomed if you look at it as a business proposition.. It will only last as long it benefits the person, then they'll renege on the bargain..
Rasheed1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 03:58 PM   #12
IGOTGAME
3-time NBA All-Star
 
IGOTGAME's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 10,278
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldSkoolball#52
Not sure what this gibberish is supposed to mean, but marriage entitlements were stricter back in the "middle ages" not more lenient. First of all divorce was very rare because of the power of religious rule then, in fact for a long time (and even in America up until the 20th century) there were laws about even breaking off an engagement to a woman. If you proposed to a woman and then went back on it you could be convicted of a crime.

And yes, prostitution is gold digging. You think any of these prostitutes wouldn't RATHER just marry some rich guy if they could instead of working as prostitutes??

"I may be selling my body 15 times a night to strangers... but I'd never marry for money! That's beneath me..."


There are high class prostitutes that would rather not marry for money. At least not regular people money or even 500k money.
IGOTGAME is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 06:47 PM   #13
macmac
Gov'n
 
macmac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,145
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldSkoolball#52
Not sure what this gibberish is supposed to mean, but marriage entitlements were stricter back in the "middle ages" not more lenient. First of all divorce was very rare because of the power of religious rule then, in fact for a long time (and even in America up until the 20th century) there were laws about even breaking off an engagement to a woman. If you proposed to a woman and then went back on it you could be convicted of a crime.

And yes, prostitution is gold digging. You think any of these prostitutes wouldn't RATHER just marry some rich guy if they could instead of working as prostitutes??

"I may be selling my body 15 times a night to strangers... but I'd never marry for money! That's beneath me..."


Lol I'm the one speaking gibberish? First of all, the saying is prostitution is the oldest profession, not gold digging. Prostitution is an exchange of service for money, gold diggin is a lifestyle or a state of mind. It's not a profession, it's a lifestyle created in the context of modern society.

Second of all, what are you talking about with less lenient marriage engagements? Gold diggers are the ones divorcing and taking half you fkin idiot, what kind of stupid point are you trying to make? The women aren't even allowed to divorce if you beat them senseless. That's your argument for gold diggers being around since forever?

Please in the future, refrain from communicating with me if you're in a state of full mental retardation
macmac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2013, 07:55 PM   #14
OldSkoolball#52
Banned
 
OldSkoolball#52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2,498
Default Re: JP Morgan CEO's letter to a gold digger

Quote:
Originally Posted by macmac
Lol I'm the one speaking gibberish? First of all, the saying is prostitution is the oldest profession, not gold digging.


Everyone knows the common phrasing that "prostitution is the world's oldest profession."

That's why I substituted gold digging into it as a way of equating it to prostitution.

Since THAT simple connection went over your head, I guess it's no surprise the rest did as well.

And yes, they are the same thing. Using the appeal of your sexuality to get money from someone.
OldSkoolball#52 is offline   Reply With Quote
This NBA Basketball News Website Sponsored by:


Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:08 PM.






NBA BASKETBALL FORUM KEY LINKS:

InsideHoops.com Home

NBA Rumors

NBA free agency

NBA free agents list

Las Vegas NBA Summer League

FIBA World Cup Basketball

NBA Videos

Search Site

FOLLOW US
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram
YouTube
















Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. Terms of Use/Service | Privacy Policy