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Old 04-29-2009, 01:50 PM   #16
GOBB
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Default Re: Am I insensative?

Insensitive is an understatement. At that viewing and funeral there will be people who didnt know your wifes grandmom too well. Its either to just show respect and/or be support for someone who did. Meaning they could be at the funeral because someone they are friends was happened to be related to your wifes grandmom.

My moms best friend showed up to my aunts funeral. My moms best friend didnt know my aunt that well. But she attended the funeral and was around afterwards not only to show respect but support for my mom losing her sister. It means a great deal to the person because they see you are there when you really dont have to be.

This is your wife, the woman you decided to spend the rest of your life with. She is not a girlfriend, cut buddy or any of the sort. She is the woman you can brush your teeth while she squats on the toilet. And you think nothing of it. You know her flaws, weaknesses, little things she says/does that no one else knows. You two created a life, an extension of yourselves. And while she is torn up over this you are nowhere to be found. That shoulder to lean on is reserved for you. Not her parents, not your son. You!

What does she say when she is asked today, tomorrow "Where is your husband?". How does she respond? There is no way on EARTH she can say "Well he wanted to stay home and watch the fight this weekend with his friends. He promised them.". She'll have to lie/cover your ass so she doesnt feel either embarrassed or simply awkward. And add that ontop of her being torn about losing her grandmom.

I dont know about you but I doubt you'll be getting laid anytime soon. lol
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Old 04-29-2009, 02:05 PM   #17
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Default Re: Am I insensative?

Good lookin out fellas.

I guess I got to suck it up and show support regardless of my fear of being in an ackward position. I'm not trying to come off as a dyck or not attentive to my wife's needs, I'm just really uncomfortable dealing with this. In actuality my wife did not show up to my grandmother's funeral but it mainly due to a couple of complications. Also if you guys do remember I've lost 2 friends the previous years, one through suicide and the other stabbed to death, both in which my wife did not attend. And just to reveal a little bit more my brother-in-laws wife is not going to the funeral as well. Not trying to make excuses but I've been OK with her not being there in those occassions for being the same reasoning with her. As for the fight, yes that does seem like a dyck move but I'm not prioritizing it over my wife. Funny thing is my father-in-law asked me to record it, lol. If it makes you all feel any better my wife is OK with me staying, really.
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Old 04-29-2009, 02:12 PM   #18
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Default Re: Am I insensative?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GOBB
Insensitive is an understatement. At that viewing and funeral there will be people who didnt know your wifes grandmom too well. Its either to just show respect and/or be support for someone who did. Meaning they could be at the funeral because someone they are friends was happened to be related to your wifes grandmom.

My moms best friend showed up to my aunts funeral. My moms best friend didnt know my aunt that well. But she attended the funeral and was around afterwards not only to show respect but support for my mom losing her sister. It means a great deal to the person because they see you are there when you really dont have to be.

This is your wife, the woman you decided to spend the rest of your life with. She is not a girlfriend, cut buddy or any of the sort. She is the woman you can brush your teeth while she squats on the toilet. And you think nothing of it. You know her flaws, weaknesses, little things she says/does that no one else knows. You two created a life, an extension of yourselves. And while she is torn up over this you are nowhere to be found. That shoulder to lean on is reserved for you. Not her parents, not your son. You!

What does she say when she is asked today, tomorrow "Where is your husband?". How does she respond? There is no way on EARTH she can say "Well he wanted to stay home and watch the fight this weekend with his friends. He promised them.". She'll have to lie/cover your ass so she doesnt feel either embarrassed or simply awkward. And add that ontop of her being torn about losing her grandmom.

I dont know about you but I doubt you'll be getting laid anytime soon. lol


Not like I've been getting laid lately anyways, lol.

Thanks for putting it into a clearer perspective (not that any of you other guys weren't trying, even you boozehound), makes me realize that we're eventually gonna have to deal with this with practically every member of our family who's older. I don't want to come off as the guy whom the family thinks is a tool.
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Old 04-30-2009, 12:38 AM   #19
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Default Re: Am I insensative?

this is kinda insensitive, see that she is your wife.. and you're suppose to be there for her.. are you still watching the fight though? cause that's gonna be one hell of a fight.. a straight left like pacquiao's and a chin like hatton's, that's guaranteed ppv money right there..
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Old 04-30-2009, 12:46 AM   #20
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Default Re: Am I insensative?



Not sure its about whether you knew her or not so much as its about being there with your wife. I would personally offer to go with her, if she says no then your in the clear.

good luck, eh?
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Old 04-30-2009, 12:54 AM   #21
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Default Re: Am I insensative?

You didn't know her well, so no one is expecting you to be bawling anyway. Not blaming you there. But, your ass should be in Seattle, comforting your wife. You'll in all likelihood be the most stable person there, so you can be calm and support her. Your wife > a boxing match. C'mon man, use your head.
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Old 04-30-2009, 02:45 AM   #22
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Default Re: Am I insensative?

Don't want to beat a dead horse, but probably not the smartest move, if not just for the fact that this is gonna get thrown in your face, every little fight you two have, for the rest of your life.


*waits for someone else to correct the glaring spelling error in thread title - doesn't want to be "that guy"*
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Old 04-30-2009, 02:55 AM   #23
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Default Re: Am I insensative?

I don't think your wrong. Call it what you want, but I didn't cry till 2 weeks after my brother died. It took awhile to hit me I guess, but your circumstance is much different so I'd say your in the clear.
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Old 04-30-2009, 03:00 AM   #24
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Default Re: Am I insensative?

No not at all. DON would have done the same. And if she showed any attitude, just leave her. Your first mistake was getting married.
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