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Old 03-13-2009, 01:58 PM   #1
gotbacon23
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Default GOAT Farts

im a man who likes a good comical fart. sometimes its gross, but often times its funny, especially when you have good timing. over the years i have farted thousands, if not millions of times. some more memorable than others. here are a couple that i would rank as some of my GOAT farts.


1. sophmore year of high school, january 2001. my sports marketing class goes on a field trip to disney world. we go on the ride "the tower of terror" which, if you aren't familiar with it, is a giant elevator drop basically. anyway the elevator is huge and fits like 50 people. its a bunch of my classmates as well as a bunch of strangers vacationing at disney as well. everyone is in their seats when they show an intro movie, then after the movie ends the elevator gets pitch black for about 30 seconds or so to heighten the excitement before it drops. when it is pitch black, it is dead silent because people are nervously anticipating the drop. i took this opportunity to pull of a GOAT fart. in the dead silence, i farted reallly loudly and drawn out, and if that wasnt good enough i yelled "mike, thats so gross! i cant believe you just farted" and blamed it on my friend (his real name isnt mike, but you get the idea). anyway that sabotaged "mike's" chances of getting with this girl he was macking with on the trip because she actually thought it was him. that fart will forever go down in annals as my GOAT fart.

2. when i was a senior in high school, my best friend and i would have farting contests in the back of one of our classes. one time we farted so much that everyone got up and went to the other end of the class room. it was pretty legendary. we would also pull this number where we would go to the class "everyone be quiet, i think they are making an annoucement over the loud speaker" and when everyone got quiet, i would fart. yeah, that wasnt a specific fart as i did it several times, but funny nonetheless.

anyway... what are everyones GOAT fart stories?
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Old 03-13-2009, 02:07 PM   #2
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

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Old 03-13-2009, 02:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

not me, my friend.. we were at a sleepovah, no homo, then dude farted and i kid you not the smoke alarm went off for a quick 3 seconds right after he farted.. i honestly dont know how its possible but it happened...
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Old 03-13-2009, 02:19 PM   #4
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

......
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Old 03-13-2009, 02:21 PM   #5
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

Quote:
Originally Posted by halffttime
not me, my friend.. we were at a sleepovah, no homo, then dude farted and i kid you not the smoke alarm went off for a quick 3 seconds right after he farted.. i honestly dont know how its possible but it happened...


haha thats either a huge fart or a very sensitive smoke alarm. funny either way though.
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Old 03-13-2009, 02:35 PM   #6
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

Afghan's have a distinct sound in their farts that everyone recognizes. I was on the bus and I farted .. I played it off by beat boxing ..
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Old 03-13-2009, 02:38 PM   #7
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

at first i thought i had nothing to contribute to this awesome thread, but then i remembered...

my buddy was standing up in my car once (it was in park) with his head out the sunroof talking some **** to another buddy outside the car. we were blazed as all hell.

when he stuck his head back in to sit down, i was ready: full moon, point blank range...

"that was the greasiest ****ing **** ever!"

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Old 03-13-2009, 11:42 PM   #8
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

Well,I am a nice guy and I usually try my best not to fart in front of people.
I mean if I do want to I'll always leave me alone somehow to do that.
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Old 03-13-2009, 11:52 PM   #9
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

Quote:
Originally Posted by gotbacon23
im a man who likes a good comical fart. sometimes its gross, but often times its funny, especially when you have good timing. over the years i have farted thousands, if not millions of times. some more memorable than others. here are a couple that i would rank as some of my GOAT farts.


1. sophmore year of high school, january 2001. my sports marketing class goes on a field trip to disney world. we go on the ride "the tower of terror" which, if you aren't familiar with it, is a giant elevator drop basically. anyway the elevator is huge and fits like 50 people. its a bunch of my classmates as well as a bunch of strangers vacationing at disney as well. everyone is in their seats when they show an intro movie, then after the movie ends the elevator gets pitch black for about 30 seconds or so to heighten the excitement before it drops. when it is pitch black, it is dead silent because people are nervously anticipating the drop. i took this opportunity to pull of a GOAT fart. in the dead silence, i farted reallly loudly and drawn out, and if that wasnt good enough i yelled "mike, thats so gross! i cant believe you just farted" and blamed it on my friend (his real name isnt mike, but you get the idea). anyway that sabotaged "mike's" chances of getting with this girl he was macking with on the trip because she actually thought it was him. that fart will forever go down in annals as my GOAT fart.

2. when i was a senior in high school, my best friend and i would have farting contests in the back of one of our classes. one time we farted so much that everyone got up and went to the other end of the class room. it was pretty legendary. we would also pull this number where we would go to the class "everyone be quiet, i think they are making an annoucement over the loud speaker" and when everyone got quiet, i would fart. yeah, that wasnt a specific fart as i did it several times, but funny nonetheless.

anyway... what are everyones GOAT fart stories?
#1 is pretty corny, if you're gonna fart like that why blame it on a friend and make him look like a prick?

i used to say 'riddle me this, batman' before some farts. when timed well and accompanied with a good fart, that was always gold.
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Old 03-13-2009, 11:57 PM   #10
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

lol WOW number 1 is a huge cock block move on your part. bad friend.
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Old 03-14-2009, 12:39 AM   #11
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

i have 2 goat fart candidates, both were epic

number 1

I was about 13-14 in a small german class. me and 3 other dudes sitting around a small table with the teacher. close quaters. she was a german dike of a woman so u have to imagine her reaction in this way. basically i felt a massive fart coming along and i was in a mischevious mood. my german teacher was rabitting on about some boring grammar.... i leant across the table, got in her face, put my finget to my lip. and went. 'SHHHHHHSSH listen.' and quickly banged out possibly my loudest fart to date. My mates wer in absolute hysterics. She went absolutley mental. stood up, pointed at the door yelling 'RAUUUUS. RAAAAUSS GEHEN' my friends wer actually rolling on the floor at this point. her face was pure fury. she yelled at me for about 5 minutes outside telling me how vile i was etc, she ws made even more angry by the fact they wer still laughing inside. she then sent me to the heads office and i got detention but it was worth it.

candidate 2 was probably the smelliest fart i ever fathered. our year was qued up in the forum outside the exam hall waiting to do an exam funily enough. It was proper crowded. I new it was coming. i just let it free, my friends looks of delight due to the initial sound quickly changed into repulse as the smell hit their nostrils. they reeled back and a semi circle quickly formed around me. with every second that passed more and more people were reaching for their nostrils and letting out sounds of revulsion. I held up my hands in triumph. my friends were half in hysterics half trying not to breathe, whilst creating hype and drawing maximum attention to me, with my back to the wall, standing alone in my semi circle quarantine. We eventually got let in to the exam hall after everyone had been thoroughly subjected to my own brand of cyclon b. we all sat down and a few minutes later the deputy head came in from the hall holding his nose and said ' god did someone just stet off a stink bomb out there' more hilarity ensued

Last edited by CasterL : 03-14-2009 at 12:44 AM.
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Old 03-14-2009, 02:12 AM   #12
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

This is such a great thread

This one was my friend but in 5th grade it was silent reading time, my friend and I were in the back of the room and like 10 minutes in when everyone was quite he just let one out. It was so f*cking loud, we were cracking up our teacher got pissed.
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Old 03-14-2009, 02:14 AM   #13
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqMh8w5k8SU
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Old 03-14-2009, 02:19 AM   #14
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

I remember when I was in biology class in high school and I did one of those silent ones that are absolutely rotten. My mate Trav was sitting next to me and he turned around with his face all scrunched up and said "Can you taste something?". Holy ****, I laughed so hard a loud one came out, then everyone worked out who dealt the first one.
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Old 03-14-2009, 02:38 AM   #15
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Default Re: GOAT Farts

Quote:
Originally Posted by J000
Afghan's have a distinct sound in their farts that everyone recognizes. I was on the bus and I farted .. I played it off by beat boxing ..
does it make a boom sound?
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