I was at the Nets/Magic game over the weekend. All-in-all it was a damn good time but I realized...
1. That dancing "Stu", or Dancing Phil as he's refered to in the program
, is a dirty old pervert. Yeah, you read right. The Nets actually had 2 pages about him in the program for the game. It explains that he was hit in the head by a baseball several years ago. It fractured his skull from the inside out
and almost killed him. (I'm not making this up. It actually says this sh*t). Long story short, he's now a disco-obsessed dance-a-holic who attends every Nets home game just so he can rub his ass on children. Thats right, Disco Phil likes to rub his ass on children... boys especially. This even prompted one mother, who was previously joking and talking with Phil, to intervene and pull her son back to his seat. I mean seriously, it was weird: The guy shows up 45-minutes late for a game (obviously not interested in a great basketball team rolling into his town), wearing a SKIN-tight floral design shirt. Then he proceeds to rub his ass all over children. And he does this all the time! NOBODY ELSE FINDS THIS WRONG??
2. Michelle Beadle's stand-in is nearly as hot as she is. I dont know what her name is, nor do I care, but she is fine. So why not put them both
on the air? We could be "that team with the two hot chicks." Couldn't hurt ticket sales either...
3. StubbHub is the sh*t! Not really an observation on the game, I know. But I can't believe how cheap you can get tickets on there.
4. The asian fans have seem to have absolutely no interest in basketball. This is the second Nets game this season that I went to and sat next to a large group of asians. Both times they just sat around lethargically, not watching the court or having a clue what is going on, and occasionally pointing down on the Nets bench where Yi is sitting. (disclaimer for Asians : I dont mean for this to sound racist. I'm just commenting on what I see, so dont come at me with all your kung-fu. thank you)
5. Nets half-time shows suuuuuuuuuck. At the other game I went to this season, they had an all-senior production of some crappy community theater play. 30 geriatrics standing around waving their arms and lip-syncing for ten minutes. Torture. This past Saturday night, they had a doo-wop quartet called "The Coasters". After they completely bombed and crapped on the national anthem, you could hear the crowd's collective groan when it was announced they would be performing at half-time. Maybe these cats could sing in the 50's, but they looked like they were about to keel over. At no point during the 10-minute "performance" did they actually harmonize in key. I was actually embarrassed a little for them, because they seemed to be the only ones who enjoyed it. But seriously, this was a Saturday night game.. against the freakin Magic, who have one of the biggest superstars in the league. They knew it would be a good turnout, and they can't bother to put together half-way decent entertainment for 10 minutes?? I would have preferred a highlight reel of V.C. dunks on the big screen..
6. The tunnel sucks. It's not so bad when you're going TO the game, but when the game lets out and the tunnel is so jam packed that you can barely move.. I get insanely claustrophobic. Am I the only one who doesn't like being tightly funneled into a tube with a mob of strangers?
7. Stan Van Gundy is LOUD.
8. Izod Center hot-dog vendors must make pretty decent money, because I saw at least 5 of them rocking I-Phones. Then I'd get mad because I think about how I can't afford to pay monthly for an I-Phone.
9. Is there any other team in the league that flings burritos into the crowd??? I dont know why they have a deal with Chipotle Grill
, but I think it's pretty hysterical that you can catch a giant burrito at a Nets game if you're lucky enough. The things are huge like BRICKS. Anybody ever eat there? I dont think I've ever seen one...
10. The Nets beat the Magic!!! And without Devin Harris too. Which further proves my theory that Harris blows games with his "me-first" mentality. Just look at the unselfishness of Dooling and Carter, who combined for 19 assists on the night.
Ball distribution.. THAT'S how you win games. So now that the season is over for the Nets and it's time to play the blame-game, people are finally admitting what I've been saying all season: Harris' questionable late-game decisions and failure to get his team more involved cost the Nets their season. Dont get me wrong, folks.. his game is tight. He isn't a superstar though. He has superstar potential
. He must not confuse the two if he wants to mature as a player and team leader.