When I was in first grade I had to go take a dump. The teacher refused to let me go to the bathroom because I just went to the bathroom to piss 5 minutes previously. So because she didn't let me go take a dump even though I told her I really had to go, I took a dump in my pants in the middle of the classroom while sitting in my chair. No one really knew what it was or where it came from, but I remember some of the kids around me saying, "What the fu
ck is that smell?" while pulling their shirts above their nose. And yes, little first graders were saying the word fu
My mom picked me up, I walked all the way home with shi
tty underwear and I told my mom as we were walking. The next day my mother went to the school in the morning and chewed the teacher out. Ironically she turned out to be a great teacher to me, she just didn't believe me when I had to go to the bathroom is all.
My father used to be pretty gross. He would pick his nose and eat the boogers. From the age of 12 until he left I got on him about it like, "Dad, you are more gross the Lonnie down the street that's living in the alley."