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Old 06-17-2009, 09:14 PM   #16
beau_boy04
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by oh the horror
And have you two been relatively hanging all the time, almost every day, since 2007?


Why did you ask her if she doesnt mind that you see her everyday? Do you somehow feel like she may be getting tired of it, even though she shows no signs of such?


because of her past experiences with other people. She said "You are the first person I don't get bored with the next day after spending the day before together" she said before she couldn't stand having the guy over day in and day out. But it was different with me. I don't know I'm very confussed. It is 6:14pm now and I am tempted to call her now.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:15 PM   #17
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by beau_boy04
I have a girlfriend who is older than I am. We don't live together but everyday after I get off work at 6 p.m, I will go to her house and see her. Spend time together, go out eat dinner, etc etc.

Is this a good routine? by seeing her every single day? or will she get tired and get used to my presence and look at me like her husband instead of a boyfriend.
I don't want the relationship to become bothersome thats all.

Any thoughts???

Thank you.


You're stuck. If you start seeing her less and less she is going to wonder if she did something wrong and go for advice from her girls and you know what that spells. If you're concerned just bring it up jokingly with her. My guess is that if you've been seeing her every day since 07 and she hasn't said anything then it means she is enjoying your company and that you take the time to see her. Now if you're the one needing space you should break it to her honestly.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:19 PM   #18
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Meticode
It really depends on the nature of the relationship. If both of you guys want to see each other it's healthy to see each other often as long as it's not over-the-top. If one of the two parties feels it's too much then it's better to slow down if you want the relationship to last or have a better chance to survive. In other words, compromise just a little bit if it's not bothersome to you.

Just be sure she wants you to be there that much and be sure you yourself wants to see her that much. If you're on two different pages it can become problem. This is my opinion.


back in the day she was always checking on me. she says he rather have me there with her than not knowing where I am. She thinks I will cheat on her if I'm not around her. She caught me cheating once (like 6 months ago) and she forgave me for it and ever since the relationship is not the same. She has never forgiven a betrayal from a guy in her past until I came to her life.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:21 PM   #19
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by beau_boy04
back in the day she was always checking on me. she says he rather have me there with her than not knowing where I am. She thinks I will cheat on her if I'm not around her. She caught me cheating once (like 6 months ago) and she forgave me for it and ever since the relationship is not the same. She has never forgiven a betrayal from a guy in her past until I came to her life.



No wonder you're unsure now.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:21 PM   #20
oh the horror
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by beau_boy04
because of her past experiences with other people. She said "You are the first person I don't get bored with the next day after spending the day before together" she said before she couldn't stand having the guy over day in and day out. But it was different with me. I don't know I'm very confussed. It is 6:14pm now and I am tempted to call her now.


I see, well being as its been about 2 years or so, I wouldnt put TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much thought into it as of yet...Perhaps with you, it could be different, and she does enjoy seeing you all the time.


BUT, i get a sense that maybe YOU are tired of it being EVERYDAY...


Now if that is the case, you need to take some "you" time dude.


This is why I do not advocate spending all the time with eachother from day one, because it turns into routine, and or expected of you to be there everyday from here on out....and if you suddenly decide to pull away, she could start to wonder if shes doing something wrong.


Just remember to be honest thoughout with her.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:23 PM   #21
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by beau_boy04
back in the day she was always checking on me. she says he rather have me there with her than not knowing where I am. She thinks I will cheat on her if I'm not around her. She caught me cheating once (like 6 months ago) and she forgave me for it and ever since the relationship is not the same. She has never forgiven a betrayal from a guy in her past until I came to her life.



Ahhhhhhhh you didnt say all of this before! Well bro, you do need to work at building the trust. But remember, you DO need to be up front with her about you needing your YOU time if that is the case, and if she needs to call you while youre out on your cell, or text, then hey, let her know its all good.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:46 PM   #22
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by beau_boy04
back in the day she was always checking on me. she says he rather have me there with her than not knowing where I am. She thinks I will cheat on her if I'm not around her. She caught me cheating once (like 6 months ago) and she forgave me for it and ever since the relationship is not the same. She has never forgiven a betrayal from a guy in her past until I came to her life.

This sounds like part of a problem that is starting, especially if it's bothering you that she needs to check up on you. If she can't trust you or at least give you the benefit of the doubt even when you've done nothing to her (which I'm assuming you haven't) there will be problems in the future when you actually want to do something without having her permission. This is my opinion.
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:33 PM   #23
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by beau_boy04
back in the day she was always checking on me. she says he rather have me there with her than not knowing where I am. She thinks I will cheat on her if I'm not around her. She caught me cheating once (like 6 months ago) and she forgave me for it and ever since the relationship is not the same. She has never forgiven a betrayal from a guy in her past until I came to her life.


Your an a$$.
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:17 AM   #24
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Default Re: A relationship question

Thank you all for your participation.

This is my conclusion:

To me when you see your girlfriend everyday it would be alot of fun in the beginning but after a while it may become real choking. Sometimes seeing someone too much can actually dull your relationship and honestly spending sometime away can actually strengthen a relationship. It helps remind you why you need her, why you're with her. I realize that after spending every single second together, we were starting to annoy each other and having alot of fights and arguments over little things. Absence makes the heart fonder.
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:22 AM   #25
Meticode
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by beau_boy04
Thank you all for your participation.

This is my conclusion:

To me when you see your girlfriend everyday it would be alot of fun in the beginning but after a while it may become real choking. Sometimes seeing someone too much can actually dull your relationship and honestly spending sometime away can actually strengthen a relationship. It helps remind you why you need her, why you're with her. I realize that after spending every single second together, we were starting to annoy each other and having alot of fights and arguments over little things. Absence makes the heart fonder.

I agree. It's really hard to do this when you're married.
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:46 AM   #26
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Default Re: A relationship question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Meticode
I agree. It's really hard to do this when you're married.

you're married?
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Old 06-18-2009, 12:50 AM   #27
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Default Re: A relationship question

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you're married?

Yes.
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