Just read this, then MODs merge it if you want.
Dwyane Wade confirmed plans for a summer summit involving the NBA's top free-agent players to discuss their plans. So inside an ocean-side penthouse resort suite …
LeBron James: "OK, fellas, where we playing?''
Wade: "By we, you mean …"
LeBron: "You and me, first of all."
Wade: "Every game will be a two-ring circus!"
Chris Bosh: "You mean a three-ring circus?"
Wade: "We'll be Batman and … Batman!"
Chris Bosh: "And Robin."
Wade: "We'll be Starsky and … Starsky!"
Bosh: "And Hutch."
Joe Johnson: "What about "The Four Horsemen!?"
LeBron: "Uh, can you get me a drink, Joe?"
Wade: "And one for me while you're out?"
Johnson (leaving): "Again, fellas?"
Wade: "OK, let's go over the options."
LeBron: "Well, New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov says he'll give us some Russian oil rigs."
Wade: "But the Nets play in Newark."
LeBron: "Right. What about Chicago?"
Wade: "That comes with the ex-wife factor."
Wade: " Now you're scaring me."
Wade: "OK, what about New York?"
LeBron: "Tabloid hell. Besides, the jury's out on their management."
Wade: "Don't mention juries to me."
LeBron: "All right. Let's talk about the supporting cast Pat Riley has assembled for us over the past few years with the Heat."
Wade: "On the plus side, there's no state income tax in Florida. That's a few more million a year for you right there."
LeBron: "Hey, my decision isn't about money."
(Laughter from everyone.)
LeBron: "Or personal statistics."
LeBron: "I'm only thinking about winning!"
(Even more laughter.)
Wade: "Let's talk money. The Heat can sign two maximum contract players, then dump Michael Beasley for a draft pick – I'd say Memphis, since they have three first-round picks – and then pay a third free agent $13 million a year."
Bosh: "Count me in on that."
Wade: "You get the $13 million, Chris."
Bosh: "Count me out the door to New York."
Wade: "What if we divide everything up."
Bosh: "Can we do that?"
LeBron: "Give me the phone. I'll ask David Stern."
Wade: "Don't make him call you, "Commissioner" again, OK?"
LeBron: "I'll tell him I'm considering Oklahoma City."
Wade: "Make sure he's taken his medicine first."
LeBron: "And I won't say we're meeting. He warned us not to have a summit. He might discipline us."
(Laughter from everyone.)
Bosh: "Who do we want as coach?"
Wade and LeBron: "Who cares?"
Bosh: "Let's leak we want Phil Jackson just to so we can play that drinking game with his name on ESPN again."
LeBron: "Anything else?"
Wade: "One more thing. NBA Finals. Game 7. Last possession. Clock running down. Who gets the last shot?"
LeBron: "I don't think there's any doubt about that, do you?"
LeBron: "Glad we agree."
Wade: "Me, too."
LeBron: "It's about winning."
Wade: "No 'I' in team."
LeBron: "I'll call Stern now."
Wade: "Good idea."