"Oh yeah take off your cover. Yeah, now you're prone to scratches and screen damage....Mm yeah call me till it hurts...oh yes."
Wait, that is was sexting is right?
Amateur, let me show you a real life example of how to SEX'T on a professional level:
Quote:
Tiger: Hey Sexy I can't come out this week. Something came up family wise (July 20, 3:04 p.m.)
Jaimee: That's okay I hope everything is fine ... would have liked to see you
Tiger: We will make it happen
Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday (July 26, 11: 22 p.m.)
Tiger: what kind of present your naked body
Jaimee: haha no a watch I slept alone
Tiger: alone with him that is
Jaimee: haha I wish
Jaimee: miss u (Sept. 27, 6:38 p.m.)
Tiger: now that's hot so who is your new boy toy
Jaimee: no new boy toy ... still running dry... been on 2 real dates in the pat 2 months
Tiger: I need you
Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u
Tiger: I will wear you out soon
Jaimee: how soon? I got a new piercing
Tiger: really. Where
Jaimee: I just sent u a pic of it ... is on my cheek below my eye ... implanted a little diamond
Tiger: send it again. I didn't pick up on that
Tiger: you just need some attention from me
Tiger: do you have a boy friend (8:45 p.m.)
Jaimee: I don't even have someone I am dating ... no ... u can be my boyfriend ;)
Tiger: then I am
Jaimee: I wish
Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together
Tiger: when was the last time you got laid
Jaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha (Sept. 30, 3:38 p.m.)
Tiger: oh god
Jaimee: take a break from watching boring old golf
Jaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf ;)
Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kidding
Tiger: I know sexy
Jaimee: is it orange county time yet? (Oct. 1, 6:06 p.m.)
Tiger: oh stop :)
Jaimee: hahaha I know ... but you canceled on me last time so the anticipation is killing me ... im finding myself watching sports center ... haha j/k it isn't that bad
Tiger: its never been that bad
Jaimee: very true ... I only watch football
Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.
Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special
Tiger: why do I not believe that?
Tiger: [later, in response to Jaimee's mention of a date who was "full of himself"] you kinda like that for some reason which is weird why you decided on me.
Tiger: having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself
Jaimee: I have fun with u, you always make me smile and I am not afraid to be myself or say anything to u ... the day I met u I thought u were going to kick me out a few times but for someone reason you didn't and u have told me numerous times I talk to much but slowly as I get to know u iI think your absolutely amazing
Tiger: you are wrong I'm bone thugs in harmon
Jaimee: Something wrong babe?I was excited to sepnd time with u this week (Oct. 15, 6:40 p.m.)
Tiger: I will you Sunda night. Its the only night in which I am totally free but I have to leave at 530 Monday morning to drive up to the valley for an outing for one of my sponsors. See you at 8 pm on Sunday in newport
Tiger: don't text me back till tomorrow morning. I have to many people around me right now
Tiger: send me something very naughty (Oct. 18, 3:40 p.m.)
Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol ... besides im at work
Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it
Jaimee: haha ur too much
Jaimee: are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport I am lonely now ... i like falling asleep in your arms (Oct. 18, 11:38 p.m.)
Tiger: sorry baby I just can't sleep. Its just a problem I have.
Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning
Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn't sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more ... find out why I keep falling more and more for u ;)
Tiger: Because I'm blasian :)
Tiger: I'm sorry babe. Im already home.
Jaimee: I'm putting my underwear back on ... thats a no no ... come take them off
Tiger: :) you are too funny
Tiger: happy thanksgiving to you (Nov. 26, 11:16 a.m.)
Jaimee: u too love
Life is what you make it. I don't care if it was terrible, as long as I can get the +1 that means I successfully lead a woman to bed with me.
I can't fall in love so I'm not going to go crazy if I get some shitty sex...Just realize you won't do that again with her and thats that. Once I find the woman I want to keep then it's a whole new ball game.
Seems to me like it's time for you to change things up. Try a guy or a crossdresser, or bondage or try role playing. Maybe some freaky shit like that will get you back on the sex game
This line made me laugh
"having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself"
Dude, how ****ing full of your self are you?
Those were mild ones, there's more. A LOT more:
Quote:
Tiger:Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.
Tiger:Sent: 07:30 PM 07/30/2009:
Just let me know when you are headed down
Tiger:Sent: 09:46 PM 07/30/2009:
What time is car picking you up tomorrow
Tiger:Sent: 01:14 AM 07/31/2009:
Yes
Tiger:Sent: 01:27 AM 07/31/2009:
Did you get lost. Door is open
Tiger:Sent: 02:16 PM 07/31/2009:
What time do you leave. Im trying to leave. Im trying to get back
Tiger:Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after
Tiger:Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)
Tiger:Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry:)
Tiger:Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I'm glad you came out
Tiger:Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe
Tiger:Sent: 03:13 AM 08/01/2009:
Thank you sexy
Tiger:Sent: 06:34 AM 08/06/2009:
In ohio playing
Tiger:Sent: 05:54 AM 08/09/2009:
I told you im playing these two weeks
Tiger:Sent: 06:50 PM 08/09/2009:
In about a month
Tiger:Sent: 06:51 PM 08/09/2009:
Maybe sooner. Can't talk now. Will text when i can
Tiger:Sent: 01:53 PM 08/13/2009:
Me to
Tiger:Sent: 10:27 AM 08/20/2009:
I hope not. So you have been with others huh since
Tiger:Sent: 10:35 AM 08/23/2009:
I hope so
Tiger:Sent: 10:45 PM 08/23/2009:
Not a bad thing thinking about me
Tiger:Sent: 11:00 PM 08/23/2009:
I totally agree
Tiger:Sent: 11:03 PM 08/23/2009:
In conn
Tiger:Sent: 11:07 PM 03/23/2009:
Ditto
Tiger:Sent: 11: 08 PM 08/23/2009:
I like when you do that to me
Tiger:Sent: 11:11 PM 08/23/2009:
Ditto sexy
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/28/2009:
Maybe in two weeks in chicago
Tiger:Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad
Tiger:Sent: 03;29 PM 08/29/2009:
Now:)
Tiger:Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore
Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i *** you better start sucking my **** to get it hard
Tiger:Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls
Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 08/29/2009:
You didnt answer the question
Tiger:Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust
Tiger:Sent: 03:48 PM 08/29/2009:
Does that excite you at all or no
Tiger:Sent: 03:52 PM 08/29/2009:
God girl. You better want to take care of me
Tiger:Sent: 03:56 PM 08/29/2009:
You do. Need more of it
Tiger:Sent: 03:59 PM 08/29/2009:
of you
Tiger:Sent: 04"02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my **** in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my ****ing whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and **** that ass that i own
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the **** up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise
Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten
Tiger:Sent: 04:24 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. Now your talking. Whatever i want. You are mine
Tiger:Sent: 04:39 PM 08/29/2009:
Whatever else turns you on
Tiger:Sent: 04:43 PM 08/29/2009:
You tell me what you like
Tiger:Sent: 04:48 PM 08/29/2009:
You are. Always will be. Don't trust people
Tiger:Sent: 04:48 PM 08/29/2009:
But you still have not told me what turns you on
Tiger:Sent: 04:53 PM 08/29/2009:
I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp
Tiger:Sent: 5:00 PM 08/29/2009:
I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around
Tiger:Sent: 05:12 PM 08/29/2009:
For years. And punish you for not seeing me more
Tiger:Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my ****. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth
Tiger:Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me
Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and **** you till mercy
Tiger:Sent: 09:20 AM 09/03/2009:
Was playing sexy
Tiger:Sent: 04:17 AM 09/04/2009:
Maybe you can fly out to chicage on monday night and leave early wed
Tiger:Sent: 04:23 AM 09/04/2009:
I land at 930 or 10 monday night
Tiger:Sent: 11:57 AM 09/04/2009:
Great. What time so you land
Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 09/04/2009:
I land at the earliest at 8 and the latest will be 10
Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 09/04/2009:
Midway
Tiger:Sent: 01:42 AM 09/07/2009:
I cant wait to see you as well. What time do you land again
Tiger:Sent: 03:15 AM 09/07/2009:
You are going to be headed to the hyatt lodge. 2815 jorie blvd oak brook, il 60523. Phone 630 990 5800
Tiger:Sent: 11:38 AM 09/07/2009:
Did you get my text with all the info
Tiger:Sent: 11:41 AM 09/07/2009:
I will text you the room number when i get there. Im still in boston
Tiger:Sent: 11:43 AM 09/07/2009:
I have to check in to get the room
Tiger:Sent: 11:44 AM 09/07/2009:
I should get there before you anyways
Tiger:Sent: 12:27 PM 09/07/2009:
In about 3 hours
Tiger:Sent: 12:30 PM 09/07/2009:
I will be there before you for sure
Tiger:Sent: 12:35 PM 09/07/2009:
You just make sure you take care of me when you get here
Tiger:Sent: 06:28 PM 09/07/2009:
Great
Tiger:Sent: 06:30 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when your about 20 out i will order dinner. And what would you like to eat
Tiger:Sent: 06:33 PM 09/07/2009:
I am pretty tired after today. I am going to go to sleep early
Tiger:Sent: 06:53 PM 09/07/2009:
How close are you
Tiger:Sent: 07:09 PM 09/07/2009:
What do you want to eat
Tiger:Sent: 07:10 PM 09/07/2009:
Anything simple
Tiger:Sent: 07:12 PM 09/07/2009:
No turkey unless it's a club sandwich
Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/07/2009:
How close
Tiger:Sent: 07:38 PM 09/07/2009:
Head to the elevators and go to 334. Thats your room. The door will be open with the dead bolt. I have to get back here to wait for the food. Im in room 358.
Tiger:Sent: 07:42 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when you are in the room. Food just got here
Tiger:Sent: 07:47 PM 09/07/2009:
Sweet. Dont come down here yet. Lots of people in the hall. I will let you know when it clears
Tiger:Sent: 08:16 PM 09/07/2009:
Are you close to being ready
Tiger:Sent; 08:32 PM 09/07/2009:
Come on down. Its quiet here in the hall now
Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
There is a room service cart in my hall. Be careful
Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
Room358
Tiger:Sent: 09:59 PM 09/07/2009:
Make it ok
Tiger:Sent: 10:01 PM 09/07/2009:
Ok. Lights out. Good night sexy
Tiger:Sent: 08:49 AM 09/08/2009:
Hope you slept as good as i did. I just woke up which is un heard of
Tiger:Sent: 10:23 AM 09/08/2009:
So when can i have that ass again
Tiger:Sent: 12:40 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be back in a couple hours
Tiger:Sent: 12:42 PM 09/08/2009:
I have to leave for an appearance at 430 but i will be back at 730 for dinner and lots of dessert with you. How about a quickie before i go:)
Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you
Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity
Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you
Tiger:Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:
Never done it. I think i would get stage freight
Tiger:Sent: 02:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Maybe
Tiger:Sent: 03:38 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be over in 10mins
Tiger:Sent: 03:40 PM 09/08/2009:
Why dont you come over here now instead
Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 09/08/2009:
Enter thru room 360. Its next door
Tiger:Sent: 03:42 PM 09/08/2009:
Hurry so i come in that ass
Tiger:Sent: 03:54 PM 09/08/2009:
Let me know when you leave your room
Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/08/2009:
You felt amazing to baby. How much was your flight by the way
Tiger:Sent: 07:35 PM 09/08/2009:
Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before i see you tonight
Tiger:Sent: 07:39 PM 09/08/2009:
Parent hood melt down:)
Tiger:Sent: 08:01 PM 09/08/2009:
How much was your flight
Tiger:Sent: 05:03 AM 09/09/2009:
Shit i fell back to sleep. just woke up. I have to leave in about 15 mins. I tee off at 700
Tiger:Sent: 07:43 PM 09/09/2009:
Great thing is we have a life time of this
Tiger:Sent: 05:44 AM 10/01/2009:
I know that. Thats why i wont do that.
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
Baby im not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I'm not losing that. You have to understand people love to tal
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
k about me. sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. I have learned to just roll with it no matter how much it upsets me when its not true. My life is a
Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
fish bowl
Tiger:Sent: 10:40 AM 10/04/2009:
Guys from dubai. Investors. So my agent being suggested that we go back to my room at the mansion for lunch. He doesnt know about us, obviously
Tiger:Sent: 11:31 AM 10/04/2009:
This has been a total shit trip. Im sorry i ****ed up last night. And this shit. We will get it right next time so we can spend more time together.
Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 10/04/2009:
Oh my god. If they were with me. You would have ruined everything
Tiger:Sent: 12:07 PM 10/04/2009:
I told you. Oh my god. I cant believe what just happened
Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don't ****ing talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, ****
Re: I just don't enjoy sex as much as I used to
