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Old 09-26-2010, 12:47 PM   #1
BRabbiT
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Default Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

how horny, impatient and idiotic would you have to be to consider a Walmart aisle as a great place to jerk off?


smfh.





Quote:






SEPTEMBER 15--What kind of a guy goes into Walmart, takes a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue from the magazine rack, heads to the store’s toy section, and proceeds to jerk off to completion in the aisle?

Meet William Tyler Black.

The 28-year-old Floridian, a substitute teacher, was arrested yesterday afternoon by Sarasota cops on battery and exposure of sexual organs charges, according to a probable cause affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here.

A store employee told cops that Black “ejaculated onto the floor and wiped his hand on a toy along with rubbing his foot in the suspected semen on the floor.” Employees reported that Black “discarded the magazine behind some toys and proceeded to the front of the store.”

A police source told TSG that the toy in question was a lightsaber (apparently of the "Star Wars" variety), and that the magazine Black used was the 2010 SI swimsuit issue with model Brooklyn Decker on its cover. Though published in February, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue can still be found on sale months later at many retailers.

When cops confronted Black, pictured in the above mug shot, he said he was in the store “shopping for a toy for his daughter.” He was hit with the battery on a child count since investigators concluded that a “reasonable person would believe that a child would come in contact with the fluid on the toy being that it was left in the toy aisle of the store.”










http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documen...up-aisle-three
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:49 PM   #2
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

wow...that's just sick
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:50 PM   #3
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

The battery charge is pretty funny..
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:51 PM   #4
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

Damn, at least handle your biz in the bathroom.
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:55 PM   #5
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

f*ckin subs
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:55 PM   #6
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

Looks like juges to me
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:58 PM   #7
Posterize246
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

When I was working at walmart you could walk into the bathroom on a daily basis and hear our mentally challenged door greeter in one of the stalls.

*fap fap fap fap*....."Uh."
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:00 PM   #8
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

would have taken it into the bathroom
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:08 PM   #9
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

I have done it and gotten away with it, I think it was at k-mart though.
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:27 PM   #10
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

Tyler Black....didn't he just sign with WWE lol
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:28 PM   #11
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

my god. There is such people like that in the world.
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:30 PM   #12
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sterb Hempel
Looks like juges to me

Not good looking enough.
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:53 PM   #13
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

@ the Affidavit...
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:55 PM   #14
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

fwiw, i just read that he was fired last week, for obvious reasons. moron
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Old 09-26-2010, 02:33 PM   #15
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Default Re: Would You Fap @ a Walmart??

LMFAOOO this is something you just have to sit back and laugh at
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