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Old 10-01-2010, 09:20 AM   #31
niko
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Default Re: women issues

That's a dealbreaker. You are dating, you are not obligated to stay beyond the point you want to. A girl with a daughter needs her taken care of so at some point it would be come your problem (you are too young to want or need to do that). If you were 30 it's different, but 21. No.

I'd bolt. at 21 you need to do you and you didn't make a baby.

(Note: No knock on the girl but if you date someone a long time it gets serious, and it can't get serious unless you'd take care of the kid, and you'd have to be nuts to take care of the kid. So i think it's better not to let it get there.)

Last edited by niko : 10-01-2010 at 09:23 AM.
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:14 PM   #32
G-Funk
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Default Re: women issues

That girl is a slick, dirty little hamster! j/p

Her: ''Im gonna make him fall for me, so I can make it hard for him to stop talking to me once i drop the bomb on him.''


A real woman will never deny her kids. Who cares if she has a kid or not. Look for a woman that's gonna be straight foward with you from the get-go. It's the principle that matters here.

Look, if she's willing to keep her child a secret, can you only imagine all the other things she's hiding from you, or willing to hide from you? that's a bad sign of character. I say you shake her...If you deside to shake her, make it clear that your not doing it b-cuz she's a mami, but b-cuz she kept it a secret.

Last edited by G-Funk : 10-01-2010 at 12:21 PM.
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:20 PM   #33
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Default Re: women issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by L.Kizzle
No big deal, they've been dating for a few months and she finally tells him she has a daughter.

There is nothing wrong with having a child, but I think it should have came up one of the many times they've dated.
Meh, some people dont like to rush into it, especially at that young age. he woulda dumped her quick if he found out on a 2nd date, so she played the odds.


I wouldnt worry about it too much. Maybe you want to take on that extra responsibility and maybe you dont. How serious/casual are you?
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:22 PM   #34
bada bing
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Default Re: women issues

you talked to her for a few months and she tells you NOW? thats not good man. i mean after a few weeks or so i am okay with. But a few months? not good.
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:27 PM   #35
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Default Re: women issues

We started out very casually but it has turned serious recently which is probably why she hasn't told me until now. She wasn't hiding it, it was more like I didn't really need to know until she was more secure with and trusting of me.
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Old 10-01-2010, 12:32 PM   #36
bada bing
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Default Re: women issues

having a kid is a very big deal, at least to me. If some girl has a kid and i am dating her, i would like to know from the start. I kinda understand her point of view but if i find out a few months later that a girl i been dating has a kid, it might suddenly change my opinion of her.
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Old 10-01-2010, 01:01 PM   #37
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Default Re: women issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jailblazers7
We started out very casually but it has turned serious recently which is probably why she hasn't told me until now. She wasn't hiding it, it was more like I didn't really need to know until we are about to do it and she reveals a destroyed roast-beef sandwich and unsightly stretchmarks

Fixed
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Old 10-01-2010, 01:09 PM   #38
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Default Re: women issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jailblazers7
We started out very casually but it has turned serious recently which is probably why she hasn't told me until now. She wasn't hiding it, it was more like I didn't really need to know until she was more secure with and trusting of me.


So you've been 'talking' for months and you've been out a few times, yet..... you havent even seen her place yet??? And she's obviously never stayed over at your place because it would have probably come up somehow that she had a kid waiting for her at home.

Since when do relationships where there is legit physical attraction between kids in their early 20's progress this slowly????

This story sounds bogus and you sound like a wienie. SMH.
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Old 10-01-2010, 01:11 PM   #39
Jailblazers7
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Default Re: women issues

Ah there's the typical starface charm.
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Old 10-01-2010, 01:28 PM   #40
Black Joker
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Default Re: women issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by the GIBBET
So you've been 'talking' for months and you've been out a few times, yet..... you havent even seen her place yet??? And she's obviously never stayed over at your place because it would have probably come up somehow that she had a kid waiting for her at home.

Since when do relationships where there is legit physical attraction between kids in their early 20's progress this slowly????

This story sounds bogus and you sound like a wienie. SMH.
a sibling or sitter watches the kid?
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:28 PM   #41
oh the horror
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Default Re: women issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by L.Kizzle
No big deal, they've been dating for a few months and she finally tells him she has a daughter.

There is nothing wrong with having a child, but I think it should have came up one of the many times they've dated.




This guy gets it.


How many "months" were they talking, and why did this not come up sooner? I'd be a bit skeptical of a woman that didnt inform me of something THAT important straight away.
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:42 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pete's montreux
Don't you think if she wanted a father figure for her kid that she would have told him she had one upfront? It sounds to me like It's the complete opposite of what everyone is suggesting. She probably felt embarrassed to tell him and that she was afraid she would lose you had she told you from the beginning. To me, that's a good sign. She wants a relationship and she doesn't want her kid to get in the way.

Not that you shouldn't ignore her child all-together. I think you should meet her kid at least and show that you're not scared of children. You do NOT have to be It's father, but establishing a relationship is not the end of the world.

I've never dated a girl with a kid, but I get the feeling there's a lot of young mother's out there that have made a mistake and are being chastised for it endlessly. A lot of guys are probably missing out on some great women because of some stereotypes. Everyone in this thread thinks she's a gold-digging whore, which could be true, but what if It's not?

If it wasn'talready obvious you're a lonely loser with ZERO self confidence, this post confirmed it. Talkin relationship and responsibility to a 20 year old kid LMAO! Bro, I know its been a long road of desperation for you so you think its a GOOD sign cuz a kid takes a girl down a few notches so u can convince yourself u have a chance with this one.
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:43 PM   #43
oh the horror
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Default Re: women issues

He had a point on one thing though....I believe she was afraid to tell him about her kid early on.

The reasoning behind why she was though, is up for debate.
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:49 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by oh the horror
He had a point on one thing though....I believe she was afraid to tell him about her kid early on.

The reasoning behind why she was though, is up for debate.

As dude goes on to say it's a good sign to him. Parlaying shame into a long term relationship is really the best approach. amirite?
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:55 PM   #45
oh the horror
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Default Re: women issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sterb Hempel
As dude goes on to say it's a good sign to him. Parlaying shame into a long term relationship is really the best approach. amirite?



Yeah, that part isnt exactly spot on.
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