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Old 04-23-2011, 04:31 AM   #16
joe
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

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Or really ever been really comfortable being alone?? I'm 18, a senior in high school, and don't really have people I call friends. Never been to a dance, never had a girlfriend, never been to any school sports functions, or any of that ish. it used to get to me when I was younger, but I've been really comfortable by myself lately, and I figured my situation would get better with time...time has passed, and I'm starting to get worried. right now I'm comfortable with the way i live, but it's going to kill me eventually. Has anyone ever experienced/know someone that has experienced a similar situation?

Honestly, don't let it bother you or make you feel bad. Some people just aren't highly social.

You're only 18. I'm only 5 years older than you, so it's not like I'm some wise old sage but... to give some advice, people change. You might not be social at all right now, but in 5 years, 10 years.. you definitely could be.

For instance, in High School, I was one of the most social people. I had my close group of friends, in addition to being friendly with almost everyone else in school. Went to parties, hung out with a lot of girls.

Now?? Looking back, I can't even believe I was so social. All I ever want to do nowadays is read, or do something quiet inside. Watch basketball, write, play a video game, etc..

Idk what really changed me. But that was only 5-6 years ago, so you can see that things can definitely change quick.

And don't listen to everyone saying "Ohhh, just wait till you go to college!" College is a good time to open up, but it doesn't happen for EVERYONE. That's why you see people in college going through serious depression.. because everyone told them they'd have a million friends, but they're still the loner introvert they've always been. You'll be more social when you're ready to be. Not just because you enroll in university.

Not to say that college can't be a great time to open up, re-do your image, etc. But it's not just an automatic ticket to parties and popularity.
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Old 04-23-2011, 04:58 AM   #17
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

I love being alone as well, always have. You can live your whole life that, but you're missing out on life experiences. Learning to socialize and become part of the community will open doors for you, so it's important you learn how to do it... even if it's not your preference.

High School is an awkward time for lots of people, so I wouldn't stress it. However, at some point you need to step up, and learn to to create life relationships that will help you grow intellectually and emotionally. Socializing and networking is also important for advancing your career. Especially in this Economy, where many times it's not about WHAT you know, but WHO you know.
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Old 04-23-2011, 06:05 AM   #18
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Smile Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

I think I quite the opposite to be honest. I have hard time not making friends. I'm just real friendly and easy going with everyone, no matter where I go. Place me in the middle of a High School right now, and I'll be friends and acquaintances with everyone by the end of the week. That first day of the semester where you're in a new class, and everyone in their seats around you are just giving eachother awkward glances, I hate that shit. So I just talk and crack jokes and eventually, that awkward feeling is totally gone and the mood is light as ever. And then everybody around the area are friends. I mean ain't that much better? Plus the ladies love when YOU'RE the guy that opens them up and gets them to be themselves around you. When you're the guy that isn't afraid to talk to everyone.

Confidence man, its all about confidence. If there is one thing you want in this world above anything else, its confidence. And you know whats the best part about confidence? Its that you're the only guy that controls how confident you really are. You build that confidence up. Ain't nobody outside of you can influence you or your confidence/swag, unless you let them. Its all you son.

So just be open and friendly and confident man, and take every day with a smile. Life is so much easier that way man, I guarantee it.
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Old 04-23-2011, 06:07 AM   #19
Abd El-Krim
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

phony...
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Old 04-23-2011, 12:53 PM   #20
detroitkid816
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

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Originally Posted by code green
start smoking weed, and i'm only half kidding.
i did for a while. you can't be high forever though.
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Old 04-23-2011, 01:10 PM   #21
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

I was kinda in a similar position like you too. I still went to Homecoming though, and I still hang with friends. But I don't hang with friends often, Idk why, I just didn't. I was always shy during high school, and still am right now, but it has gotten a lot better. I spend most of my time alone though, working on my website and other projects. Probably because I'm not always willing to call someone to hangout, unless they hit me up first.


Quote:
Confidence man, its all about confidence. If there is one thing you want in this world above anything else, its confidence. And you know whats the best part about confidence? Its that you're the only guy that controls how confident you really are. You build that confidence up. Ain't nobody outside of you can influence you or your confidence/swag, unless you let them. Its all you son.
I think the key is to wait till your outta high school, so you can start fresh, create a new image in front of new people. Get involved more. You'll easily meet new people. Like he said, Confidence is key. You'll open yourself up more the more you actually interact with people. And you'll slowly be not afraid to talk to anyone.
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Old 04-23-2011, 01:27 PM   #22
Styles p
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

alot of people are like this now because they spent their whole childhood playing video games and sitting on the computer instead of going outside and interacting with other kids. good thing my parents always forced me to go outside instead of playing video games all the time.
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Old 04-23-2011, 01:50 PM   #23
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by detroitkid816
Or really ever been really comfortable being alone?? I'm 18, a senior in high school, and don't really have people I call friends. Never been to a dance, never had a girlfriend, never been to any school sports functions, or any of that ish. it used to get to me when I was younger, but I've been really comfortable by myself lately, and I figured my situation would get better with time...time has passed, and I'm starting to get worried. right now I'm comfortable with the way i live, but it's going to kill me eventually. Has anyone ever experienced/know someone that has experienced a similar situation?


if you are comfortable how you are now why do you need to change?
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Old 04-23-2011, 02:01 PM   #24
detroitkid816
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

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Originally Posted by chips93
if you are comfortable how you are now why do you need to change?
just because I'm comfortable being alone doesn't mean I don't desire some sort of interaction. a lot of life can probably be found in experiences with others. there might have been a person comfortable in jail, but of course he doesn't want to be there. i'm not saying I want to become a socialite, I'd just prefer having some sort of balance if that makes sense
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Old 04-23-2011, 02:01 PM   #25
Abd El-Krim
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by chips93
if you are comfortable how you are now why do you need to change?

Because society says there's something wrong with it.

Introversion is a function of brain chemistry. It's not caused by playing video games and isn't something that can be 'cured' with confidence. There's a difference between it and shyness or social phobia. Those being the types that spend all their time alone for any number of fears but hate themselves for it because inside they crave social interaction.

Of course it all gets lumped into one disorder these days, but if you're content in how you're living then you're already doing much better than most people - including those who appear to be straight off of Friends.
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Old 04-23-2011, 02:06 PM   #26
detroitkid816
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Styles p
alot of people are like this now because they spent their whole childhood playing video games and sitting on the computer instead of going outside and interacting with other kids. good thing my parents always forced me to go outside instead of playing video games all the time.
while you may be right for some cases, it could be the exact opposite for others. some kids' social phobia might be so bad that it forces them to have limited options
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Old 04-23-2011, 02:33 PM   #27
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

never. i'm super composed. get yourself together, man.
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Old 04-23-2011, 03:30 PM   #28
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

IMO it is very important to be able to be comfortable alone...some people are not capable of it and I think it is a flaw...I have several freinds like that, and Dooms is one of them, he can't be alone for more than one night, if he is alone he will go insane and make like 800 threads in here or something...he needs constant human interaction...

I went from school/ living with my parents, to living with a female for 5 years...I didn't know how to be alone till I was like 25 or something...and it was VERY hard for me to adjust to...I was always used to having someone there when i woke up my whole life, and to suddenly be thrust into an apartment all alone was really depressing for me...it took a while to get used to and during that time I was constantly living in bars and going out 24/7...

I am SOOOO happy I have learned to adjust to it...it is vital IMO...It is a tool that everyone should have and some people just don't...now it is like I charish my alone time...it is recharge time...


just letting you know, it isn't all bad...some people have the opposite problem, they just don't understand it is a problem most of them...they are like big children, they are incapable of taking care of themselves or being on their own...
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Old 04-23-2011, 03:49 PM   #29
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by detroitkid816
just because I'm comfortable being alone doesn't mean I don't desire some sort of interaction. a lot of life can probably be found in experiences with others. there might have been a person comfortable in jail, but of course he doesn't want to be there. i'm not saying I want to become a socialite, I'd just prefer having some sort of balance if that makes sense


yea tbh i can really relate. i sorta like being alone at times, but still like having friends, but i feel like if i continue not being outgoing and social i will lose those friends, even though i like how things are now, i worry it cant last. ppl often say its annoying that im not more social, but i like how i am. i just worry how long ppl will 'put up with me' not always wanting to go out and be social
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Old 04-24-2011, 04:42 AM   #30
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Default Re: anyone here ever had social anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by -playmaker-
IMO it is very important to be able to be comfortable alone...some people are not capable of it and I think it is a flaw...I have several freinds like that, and Dooms is one of them, he can't be alone for more than one night, if he is alone he will go insane and make like 800 threads in here or something...he needs constant human interaction...

I went from school/ living with my parents, to living with a female for 5 years...I didn't know how to be alone till I was like 25 or something...and it was VERY hard for me to adjust to...I was always used to having someone there when i woke up my whole life, and to suddenly be thrust into an apartment all alone was really depressing for me...it took a while to get used to and during that time I was constantly living in bars and going out 24/7...

I am SOOOO happy I have learned to adjust to it...it is vital IMO...It is a tool that everyone should have and some people just don't...now it is like I charish my alone time...it is recharge time...

just letting you know, it isn't all bad...some people have the opposite problem, they just don't understand it is a problem most of them...they are like big children, they are incapable of taking care of themselves or being on their own...




Well, in my defense,... I do have a really big alcohol problem... and for
a long time I used alcohol to cure my social anxiety, but if you're not careful,
that $hit can seriously backfire.

For me it's a double-edged sword because I personally need a "support group"
and I love to face my fears and embrace social interaction (when I'm completely sober).
Do you think Josh Hamilton liked to be alone when he was Lost? Do you think
today He likes to be alone and is comfortable with himself?

What do I do when I have a really big problem? I try to turn to God/ The "Living" Bible
but then there is always some c0cksucker like Bill Maher that wants to
bash my personal believes.


Can you imagine some guy like Bill Maher telling Josh Hamilton to his face
that he should discard the Bible when that's exactly what helped him get through
the hard times?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXOrKT7SUoY

How can that video not be pure 100% inspiration? Read some of the
comments made in that link... it's good stuff.



to the OP: detroitkid816


Quote:
Or really ever been really comfortable being alone??
I'm 18, a senior in high school, and don't really have people I call friends.
Never been to a dance, never had a girlfriend, never been to any school sports functions,
or any of that ish. it used to get to me when I was younger, but I've been really comfortable
by myself lately, and I figured my situation would get better with time...time has passed, and
I'm starting to get worried. right now I'm comfortable with the way i live, but it's going
to kill me eventually.
Has anyone ever experienced/know someone that has experienced
a similar situation?


My advice to everybody is that you should constantly be putting yourself in situations
that make you "Uncomfortable" so to speak. You should always want more out life because
in the end: life is short.... and Fear prevents us from being the people we want
to be.

There is nothing wrong with being happy all by your lonesome... but I can assure you
that happiness is always better when you have somebody to share it with (and I'm
not talking about sharing your happiness with the internet world).






(This is a really good thread BTW)
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