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Old 07-19-2013, 01:09 AM   #46
enayes
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Default Re: Emails from an Asshole

Quote:
Originally Posted by rezznor
http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=107#comment


love how he kept stringing this guy along


probably my favorite one so far, and I remember the disguised weapons one from long ago, these are pretty funny
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:28 AM   #47
Shade8780
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Default Re: Emails from an Asshole

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavincent
By the way, I just found 3 more movies to add to the collection I am offering:

Toy Story 2
James and the Giant Peach
Walt Disney's Double Penetration Cockblasts 3

Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:

Okay I've had enough of this. You are a nut.

From Me to Julia ******:

Think of the children, Julia. They will never get to enjoy these classic films because of you.

From Julia ****** to Me:

Go to hell.


I love this website.
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:37 AM   #48
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Default Re: Emails from an Asshole

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=108

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Old 07-19-2013, 07:49 AM   #49
miller-time
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Default Re: Emails from an Asshole

Quote:
Originally Posted by enayes
probably my favorite one so far, and I remember the disguised weapons one from long ago, these are pretty funny

I lost it when he wrote "FUCK ESTONIA"
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Old 07-19-2013, 08:41 AM   #50
Alan
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Default Re: Emails from an Asshole

The Estonia part (which was totally unexpected) made it that much funnier for me
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Old 07-19-2013, 09:18 AM   #51
Dictator
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Default Re: Emails from an Asshole

Quote:
From Me to ************@*********.org:

Hello,

I am writing in response to your ad looking for a caterer for your Christmas dinner party. I am a freelance chef with a lot of catering experience. I was the top chef at the world renowned Restauran de Bon Foodeux for over five years. If you are still looking for a caterer, let me know.

Thanks,

Michael

From Brian ******* to Me:

michael thank you for responding. what are your rates? we are expeting about twenty people at are dinner party so will need enough food for all of them. can you supply the food and we reembirse you? also do you have a menu of mealss you cook for us to choose from?

From Me to Brian *******:

Brian,

Supplying the food will not be a problem. I have a wide variety of exquisite dishes for you to choose from, which I will list below. My rates are per person and it depends on the meal, but generally ranges from $20-$40 per person. Here are the meals I typically offer:

La Nouille du Triomphe
A meal of pure bliss and flavor - a delicious plate of ramen noodles boiled in the purest of water. Noodles can be flavored with either chicken or beef seasoning.

Le Repas du Fromage Délicieux
A mouthwatering bowl of easy mac cooked to perfection in a microwave. Served with a side of peanut M&Ms.

Le Repas de la Faim de Grande Personne
A delectably and savory microwaved TV dinner. The dish comes with two pieces of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, freshly grown vegetables and a satisfying brownie that is heated to absolute perfection.

Le Sandwich Rouge
A truly phenominal sandwich consisting of ketchup spread over a carefully microwaved piece of bread, and then topped with another piece of bread. Comes with a side of mayonnaise for dipping.

Dessert

Le Plat du Lait et de la Céréale
A satisfying end to your meal, this dessert consists of a bowl of fruit loops served with either skim or 2% milk. Milk can be substituted with water for those on a diet.

La Pâtisserie Bourrée
Individually wrapped twinkies that have been microwaved to sheer delight.

Let me know which meals you are interested in, and I can give you a quote on how much everything will cost.

Thank you,
Michael

From Brian ******* to Me:

what the **** you actully cater that shit to people ? yea im gonna serve easy mac and twinkies for christmas dinner are you ****in kidding me. my son in college could make that shit!

From Me to Brian *******:

Brian,

The twinkes aren't for everyone. I understand if you are on a diet, but for me, nothing celebrates the birth of Jesus like a twinkie and some good easy mac. If you aren't interested in that meal, would you consider any of my other options? My personal favorite is Le Sandwich Rouge. That is also very affordable. For twenty people, it would probably cost you about $400.

Michael

From Brian ******* to Me:

cut the bullshit fancy french names and call it a goddamn gross ass ketchup sanwich


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Old 07-19-2013, 11:13 AM   #52
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the fish tank and the plasma tv are gold
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Old 07-19-2013, 08:33 PM   #53
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