Re: Dealing with players.
Yeah, don't try to punish the guy when you're not willing to completely drop him. And obviously don't drop him if there's any chance you're gonna need him to ever play again. Just tell him to take it a bit more serious, still it is Valentine's day so people have different priorities sometimes, especially in a rec. league.
Overall, you just gotta let him know that you expect more consistency, don't try to take a moral high-ground and pummel him from there, that's always a bad idea in positions of leadership, and don't try to punish him in a way that just doesn't make sense (you didn't show up for the game, so now you don't get playing time next time you do show up... stuff like that is just dumb.)