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Old 01-22-2013, 10:12 AM   #16
Rolando
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

My mom died of breast cancer 5 years ago and I learned a lot from the experience.

First of all, you have to let go of the idea that death is a bad thing. It is not good, not bad. It just is. It is natural.

Embrace it and make it the best experience that you can for your mother and yourself. People who panic and fight and generally freak out about it aren't going to have a good experience at all.

Just spend as much time as you can with your mother. Make sure she is as comfortable as possible. Make arrangements for a hospice nurse to come by twice a day and take care of the tough medical and hygenic stuff. The best situation is if your mother passes away at home, in her own bed, surrounded by her family and friends.

Hospitals suck. The best thing the doctors can give to your mother is enough morphine to make sure she is comfortable. That's the most important thing.

Now go hang out with your mom.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:17 AM   #17
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.


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Old 01-22-2013, 10:17 AM   #18
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolando
My mom died of breast cancer 5 years ago and I learned a lot from the experience.

First of all, you have to let go of the idea that death is a bad thing. It is not good, not bad. It just is. It is natural.

Embrace it and make it the best experience that you can for your mother and yourself. People who panic and fight and generally freak out about it aren't going to have a good experience at all.

Just spend as much time as you can with your mother. Make sure she is as comfortable as possible. Make arrangements for a hospice nurse to come by twice a day and take care of the tough medical and hygenic stuff. The best situation is if your mother passes away at home, in her own bed, surrounded by her family and friends.

Hospitals suck. The best thing the doctors can give to your mother is enough morphine to make sure she is comfortable. That's the most important thing.

Now go hang out with your mom.


Again, thank you for the post.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:36 AM   #19
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riddler
Again, thank you for the post.

One more thing: Keep reminding yourself: This is your mom's show. It is all about her.

I say this because I noticed just the opposite when my mom was going through her process. My sister, for instance, was very wrapped up in her own feelings about my mother dieing and her own emotional experience. She was trying to convert my mom to a different religion even. It was just stupid.

Anyway, sounds like your mom has some life left in her. I hope she enjoys it.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:59 AM   #20
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolando
My mom died of breast cancer 5 years ago and I learned a lot from the experience.

First of all, you have to let go of the idea that death is a bad thing. It is not good, not bad. It just is. It is natural.

Embrace it and make it the best experience that you can for your mother and yourself. People who panic and fight and generally freak out about it aren't going to have a good experience at all.

Just spend as much time as you can with your mother. Make sure she is as comfortable as possible. Make arrangements for a hospice nurse to come by twice a day and take care of the tough medical and hygenic stuff. The best situation is if your mother passes away at home, in her own bed, surrounded by her family and friends.

Hospitals suck. The best thing the doctors can give to your mother is enough morphine to make sure she is comfortable. That's the most important thing.

Now go hang out with your mom.


Great post. Hospice is a wonderful organization. The one thing we got right with my dad. He was able to die at home which was so much better for him and the rest of us.

We're all gonna die. The best we can hope for is to be at peace when it happens. One good thing about cancer (if there can be anything good about it) is that it affords the person some time to plan their own death. I had an uncle who died of pancreatic cancer a few years ago. He traveled and reconnected with family and friends to reflect on their time together and to say goodbye before he got too sick. He planned his memorial service, got his finances in order, etc. When he finally went he was completely at peace. Something to be said for that.
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Old 01-22-2013, 11:06 AM   #21
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rufuspaul
Great post. Hospice is a wonderful organization. The one thing we got right with my dad. He was able to die at home which was so much better for him and the rest of us.

We're all gonna die. The best we can hope for is to be at peace when it happens. One good thing about cancer (if there can be anything good about it) is that it affords the person some time to plan their own death. I had an uncle who died of pancreatic cancer a few years ago. He traveled and reconnected with family and friends to reflect on their time together and to say goodbye before he got too sick. He planned his memorial service, got his finances in order, etc. When he finally went he was completely at peace. Something to be said for that.




Thank You.
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Old 01-22-2013, 11:34 AM   #22
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Just spend time. Find ways to cope. Remember, it's about the other person. But you are allowed to watch TV, or eat, and live at the same time helping out your mom with whatever she needs. I find people think they need to stop their lives 100%, which makes them stressed, and makes their sick loved one stressed.

Be hopeful but be ready. None of us understand how or why things happen.

Good luck, we are sending you good wishes.
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:06 PM   #23
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

My mother was diagnosed with Lukemia when I was in college, man ... probably 15 years ago now. Those first 6 months are exceptionally hard, because it's amazing how little you know about this stuff. Fortunately she's still hanging on, and what they can do with blood disorders like this are a lot different now.

But it sounds like you're in a more dire situation. My friend's girlfriend's mother got pancreatic, and was given 6 months, she hung on for two years. The idea of a bucket list is a great one. They went everywhere she ever wanted to go. The whole family went to Rome, to San Diego to see family, to Vegas. Find that stuff out. If there's something she wants and you can help, do it. You'll feel so much better when she does finally go that you got to experience something not with her but for her.
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:08 PM   #24
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Sorry to hear Riddler. This strikes close to home. My mom was diagnosed with an aggressive stage 2 non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in mid 2011. She underwent serious chemo that sent her to the hospital a total of 5 times throughout the rest of 2011. The last chemo treatment almost killed her. In her mid 70s, my mom is very resilient and I always hold hope in that. Doctors changed her treatment to something more manageable and she’s still with us. The doctor uses her story as an inspiration to other seniors with cancer. My mom also has other problems…..so it is a daily struggle. Some days she’s as normal as anyone and those are the days I’m truly grateful for. The cancer is very small now, but it will probably never go away. She’ll just manage it is long as she can. So yes, every normal day is a great day from here on out. I sincerely hope you have many more normal days with your mother.
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:13 PM   #25
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Although you are a conspiracy moron and have bad taste in movies, I sympathize with you on this. Watching a beloved suffer like that and slip away is consuming. The only thing you can do is to come to terms with the fact that death is coming for her and for everyone eventually. Your mom seems to have gotten along with that, the best thing you could do for your mom is that you do too.
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:16 PM   #26
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riddler
First and foremost, My mother has recently been diagnosed with cancer..

Colon cancer that's spread to the liver. Stage 4.

At this time, I really don't give a f*ck about conspiracy theories....

My mother is my best friend... She's done a much better job at raising me than my father did. No disrespect to my father...I know he's a great man.

So I guess my question is this: It appears that my mother's days are numbered,

Does anybody have experience with situations similar to this?

I guess the the good news is this... I honesty believe in miracles... And for the love of God, a miracle is about take place with my mother.

Me and my mother have been discussing the fact that we need a good church to find.... I've been procrastinating on this, But I'm about to transform from a conspiracy nut into a religious nut....

Look, I don't want to make this thread about myself... I know there are OTC posters that have battled similar trials... Dasher comes to mind.

If you guys have any advice... please share.

sorry to hear about your misfortune. i first would suggest holistic measures for your mom. and you do need to find a church if you have no other support, i think thats what your mom wants for your, once she has passed she wants you to have the support of a church. Like the good mom she is, she is thinking about your well being and not about her own.
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:53 PM   #27
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Wow man sorry to hear that you are dealing with that. Stay strong and cherish every moment you get with her.

PS - Remember miracles happen every day.
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:53 PM   #28
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Best wishes. I couldn't even imagine. As it is, I feel bad enough that I rarely get to see my mom, as I live multiple states away. The time we have here is short, and it goes by fast.
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Old 01-22-2013, 01:10 PM   #29
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Sorry to hear that bro *hugs*

Keep strong. I will pray for your mom even though we are different faiths.
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:32 PM   #30
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Default Re: I have details about my personal life that i'd like to share with the OTC Community.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riddler
Yea, I've also heard that a little Mary Jane helps... Medical marijuana

IDK.

I think that helps with the side effects of the treatments for cancer such as nausea
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