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Old 02-03-2013, 11:17 PM   #16
nathanjizzle
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bladers
I have deep feelings for her.

because you never had a girl before.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:19 PM   #17
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

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Originally Posted by nathanjizzle
because you never had a girl before.
Not true. I have had plenty of gfs.
This feeling isn't new me aswell.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:22 PM   #18
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

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Originally Posted by oh the horror
Bro I'm goin to tell you one piece of advice. Be very careful of women with commitment issues due to past experiences.


That is a safety net cop out defense mechanism on their part and sometimes they WILL use it or it will manifest itself in them exhibiting shitty behavior.

very true statement. women build these nets to justify their shitty behavior and lack of mental health. Don't let them pull these games on you.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:24 PM   #19
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

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Originally Posted by oh the horror
Bro I'm goin to tell you one piece of advice. Be very careful of women with commitment issues due to past experiences.


That is a safety net cop out defense mechanism on their part and sometimes they WILL use it or it will manifest itself in them exhibiting shitty behavior.
I could see how that could happen in my situation.
Mehn I always had this mantra about not running games on females. Looks like I have to start doing that subtly. I always initiate shit before it was her doing the initiation. No more
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:25 PM   #20
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bladers
Thanks for ur response btw.
I'm not just in it to ***. That's the difference. I think i can wife up this broad in the future.
We connect so well and compliment each other. She's just not willing to commit to a rel because of her past.

And yes I'm catching feeling. But *** I should have read the bb thread before doing what I just did.



Stopped reading there.

C'mon my boy. Been there, done that. I've seen it all, and I've done it all.

This excuse is billshit. You obviously care about her more than she cares about you, a dangerous and uncomfortable place to be Initself.
Add- you're coming off as insecure, desperate, jealous and BOOM.
You're furthering the gap between your feelings for her and her feelings for you.

NO GIRL wants a dude to be all obsessed over a girl and all desperate.
No, maybe in theory but once a girl gets it, she's sick of it, tired of it, etc.
it gets old man.

You need to bounce and reflect and reflect hard. Read between the lines and learn from your experience. It'll only make you wiser, savvier and smarter.

This girl is most likely in it for the fun. She's not trying to commit because she wants to keep her options out there. Has her eye on someone else, maybe already has some form or relationship with someone else, etc.

You can't allow yourself to get caught up. Be a definite and strong person. Know yourself and your values and of a girl. Know what you want and value from a girl and next time you fall for a girl, make sure he is what you're looking for and not what you THINK you like.

Sounds like you just like having someone, anyone.
Fu.cking someone, anyone.
You just want a relationship.

You'll learn my boy, in due time.
I'm just trying to drop some 411 on ya.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:26 PM   #21
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

I think I just made a big mistake. Hopefully I can make up for it in the coming days.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:26 PM   #22
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Sometimes my man, you dont really need to play a "game" exactly, but if you're too overly available for certain women, they tend to not appreciate it.


I guess the general idea here is to just be careful. I dont know the dynamics of the relationship you two have so I cant make sweeping generalizations, but the reality is....

You two have been seeing one another enough to be sleeping together, and she is now talking to someone else on the side. I personally wouldnt find that to be savory, and that would tell me perhaps she isnt one to be counted on.



Or....maybe she feels the same about you? Never know. Sometimes a little communication goes a long way.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:29 PM   #23
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ(Mean John)
Stopped reading there.

C'mon my boy. Been there, done that. I've seen it all, and I've done it all.

This excuse is billshit. You obviously care about her more than she cares about you, a dangerous and uncomfortable place to be Initself.
Add- you're coming off as insecure, desperate, jealous and BOOM.
You're furthering the gap between your feelings for her and her feelings for you.

NO GIRL wants a dude to be all obsessed over a girl and all desperate.
No, maybe in theory but once a girl gets it, she's sick of it, tired of it, etc.
it gets old man.

You need to bounce and reflect and reflect hard. Read between the lines and learn from your experience. It'll only make you wiser, savvier and smarter.

This girl is most likely in it for the fun. She's not trying to commit because she wants to keep her options out there. Has her eye on someone else, maybe already has some form or relationship with someone else, etc.

You can't allow yourself to get caught up. Be a definite and strong person. Know yourself and your values and of a girl. Know what you want and value from a girl and next time you fall for a girl, make sure he is what you're looking for and not what you THINK you like.

Sounds like you just like having someone, anyone.
Fu.cking someone, anyone.
You just want a relationship.

You'll learn my boy, in due time.
I'm just trying to drop some 411 on ya.
You right. 100%. I made it worse too by the text I just sent her. Mehn wtf is wrong with me?

Like I said I'm gonna back off and withdraw my self subtly. One difficult things is to not make it obvious cause I always send her gm texts.

But as u said I need to back off and reflect upon myself.
Or should i be blunt and stop sending gm texts? i think i should. sometimes being obvious is better than subtility

Last edited by Bladers : 02-03-2013 at 11:35 PM.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:35 PM   #24
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Im serious when I say this, dont be a p*ssy and use the word love the way you are using it. That word has too many manufactured meanings that you were taught to believe and have nothing to do with reality. Real love is deep appreciation for something just the way it is, what you are experiencing is attachment/lust/clingy bullshit that is fcuking with your ability to be a man
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:37 PM   #25
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bladers
You right. 100%. I made it worse too by the text I just sent her. Mehn wtf is wrong with me?

Like I said I'm gonna back off and withdraw my self subtly. One difficult things is to not make it obvious cause I always send her gm texts.

But as u said I need to back off and reflect upon myself.
Or should i be blunt and stop sending gm texts? i think i should. sometimes being obvious is better than subtility
Dont overthink it, just know that what you have to do is shift your focus away from this woman and start thinking about the things that you enjoy outside of your relationship
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:38 PM   #26
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

You sending a text that you may have felt ruined it....may be you passive aggressively handling a situation that requires real communication, and clear thought on what you feel.



Dont say anything in a round about way, and dont half step when you handle it. Be clear, cohesive, and thought out, and just say what you mean, and be sure to mean what you say.
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:41 PM   #27
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by oh the horror
You sending a text that you may have felt ruined it....may be you passive aggressively handling a situation that requires real communication, and clear thought on what you feel.



Dont say anything in a round about way, and dont half step when you handle it. Be clear, cohesive, and thought out, and just say what you mean, and be sure to mean what you say.
This is crucial too. Never be insincere and know what you want but just make sure you understand your emotions before you express them because I get the vibe that in your mind you are giving this girl too much power over you
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:42 PM   #28
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bladers
You right. 100%. I made it worse too by the text I just sent her. Mehn wtf is wrong with me?

Like I said I'm gonna back off and withdraw my self subtly. One difficult things is to not make it obvious cause I always send her gm texts.

But as u said I need to back off and reflect upon myself.
Or should i be blunt and stop sending gm texts? i think i should. sometimes being obvious is better than subtility



Let her be and back off.

Trust me.
Talk to other girls, and move on. It's healthy.

She's either going to 1. Not care
Or 2. Get jealous because she's lost your attention and you're giving it to another girl.

Trust me.

If I learned anything, it's girls want what they can't have.
Girls want a guy that other girls find desirable.


So act like you've moved on.
If she asks you, be blunt.

Say something like

"I'm not someone that likes to get involved past a certain point and if I do, it has to be worth it. You were talking to other dudes and that's cool. I'm not mad at you. You're your own person. I'm not telling you what to do, but it's just something I didn't like. Period. I wasn't comfortable with it, so I let you be. I'm not chasing around someone who obviously doesn't care for my interests. I didn't want to seem desperate or insecure but the situation was bringing it out of me when it's not in my nature to do so, so I let it be."

Boom.

And if she truly cares about you, she'll make the change. If not, she won't. And if she doesn't then she's not worth it because she ISN'T THE TYPE OF GIRL YOU WANT / DESIRE.

If you're ever going to be desperate, be it for a girl that deserves you. A girl that has qualities you actually want and wouldn't put you in situations where you feel insecure and desperate. And guess what, then you won't feel insecure and you can actually feel....happy.

You may not see it or want to see it Now but everything's always 100% clearer in retrospect
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Old 02-03-2013, 11:55 PM   #29
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Your recent panic text probably freaked her out and she'll avoid you for good. Oh well, there are other fishes in the sea. Get over it and find someone else to stalk and throw yourself at.
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Old 02-04-2013, 12:00 AM   #30
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Default Re: Am i fu*cking up my relationship?

Listen to everything Mean John is saying and blame your bad text on alcohol. Luckily it's late, so that excuse might work just fine.
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