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Old 03-25-2013, 08:52 PM   #31
Myth
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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Originally Posted by Draz
Ok. Mind helping me out? I'm actually finishing my liberal arts social sciences and humanities degree (2yr) and thinking about doing my psychology degree. I love to give advice and therapy is my thing. Do you have KIK (messenger) or anything we can talk? I'm interested in the study, I've taken courses before but wasn't in the right mind taking them. I want to make sure this is the right road to go. I can tell by the way you talk you had some psychology in you, and I am basically the same.

I really don't have any messenger these days. I'm not even sure what KIK is. But I'm willing to flesh out a conversation, whether it is right in this thread or through PMs. Just send me a question in either setting.
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:54 PM   #32
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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nice perspective..

so even if I say the sex means nothing but sex to me, but if I do it, it does have meaning as I did it knowing I would hurt the other person?

damn.... that's pretty deep

if sex means pleasure to you, my view on this is that you don't truly love your girlfriend or have strong feelings for her, depending if your making love or not. If you're having sex to pleasure yourself, and the other person is doing the same in return for pleasure, I see nothing wrong with it. Even if she did do it and see it in you for the love and passion, you can't control your emotions when making love, I think it's either you do it through expressing such feelings towards your woman, or you fck just to please.

I've had both, and there's definitely some sort of attachment in making love. I've had sex with 4 girls in my life, I've made love to one. It changed my perspective on things.
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:55 PM   #33
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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100% unacceptable. The only times I ever have violent homicide fantasies is when I think about my girl cheating on me.

I almost want it to happen to see if I would go through with it. Like, with a claw hammer.

It was getting a little serious in here, so I was tempted to question some of this, but I think Draz got it right with this emoticon:
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:55 PM   #34
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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I really don't have any messenger these days. I'm not even sure what KIK is. But I'm willing to flesh out a conversation, whether it is right in this thread or through PMs. Just send me a question in either setting.

Download KIK Messenger for Android or iOS, make a username & add me, my username is Draszo.
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:56 PM   #35
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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It was getting a little serious in here, so I was tempted to question some of this, but I think Draz got it right with this emoticon:

LMFAO He mad me rolling lol, it was getting a little too serious in here. I think this might be the first non-trolled thread ISH has ever faced
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:57 PM   #36
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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I've had both, and there's definitely some sort of attachment in making love. I've had sex with 4 girls in my life, I've made love to one. It changed my perspective on things.

Yes it does change your perspective. It is also interesting when you have sex with somebody you don't love, but stay with them and that turns into love. You can notice the difference with the same person even, and it is a pretty fun and welcome change.
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:59 PM   #37
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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Download KIK Messenger for Android or iOS, make a username & add me, my username is Draszo.

Is that specific to handhelds? Because my phone is old school and doesn't do apps. Otherwise, I can download it on my computer if it works. My assumption is that it would, but I figured I'd make sure.
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:59 PM   #38
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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Yes it does change your perspective. It is also interesting when you have sex with somebody you don't love, but stay with them and that turns into love. You can notice the difference with the same person even, and it is a pretty fun and welcome change.

Hell yeah. When your sitting there locking eyes while making love, man. It's a good change. Then there's the "b1tch bend the fck over and take this d1ck"

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Old 03-25-2013, 09:00 PM   #39
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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Is that specific to handhelds? Because my phone is old school and doesn't do apps. Otherwise, I can download it on my computer if it works. My assumption is that it would, but I figured I'd make sure.

Doubt it. You can download it for tablets or phones. It's like AOL Messenger, remember that? Except it's for mobile. Great messenger, getting really popular. If not, it's fine. We'll talk through PM's about my concern in that field. I need someone who knows what they're talking about and doing.
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Old 03-25-2013, 09:02 PM   #40
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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Originally Posted by Draz
if sex means pleasure to you, my view on this is that you don't truly love your girlfriend or have strong feelings for her, depending if your making love or not. If you're having sex to pleasure yourself, and the other person is doing the same in return for pleasure, I see nothing wrong with it. Even if she did do it and see it in you for the love and passion, you can't control your emotions when making love, I think it's either you do it through expressing such feelings towards your woman, or you fck just to please.

I've had both, and there's definitely some sort of attachment in making love. I've had sex with 4 girls in my life, I've made love to one. It changed my perspective on things.
Hm.. are you saying this is what's going on in my unconscious mind? As far as I know, and as honest, I do love her and care for her like a man in a relationship is supposed to do.

Just like men in relationships still maasturbate, that doesn't mean we feel any less for our partner do we?

Basically, just replace maasturbation here with "having 1 night stands". It's still cheating, but it's almost like maasturbation in that you only seek pleasure.. there's no change in heart or devotion. Is it still so bad if you think of it that way then?
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Old 03-25-2013, 09:02 PM   #41
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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Originally Posted by Draz
Doubt it. You can download it for tablets or phones. It's like AOL Messenger, remember that? Except it's for mobile. Great messenger, getting really popular. If not, it's fine. We'll talk through PM's about my concern in that field. I need someone who knows what they're talking about and doing.

No problem. I'm going to delete some messages to make room.
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Old 03-25-2013, 09:09 PM   #42
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

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Originally Posted by ripthekik
Hm.. are you saying this is what's going on in my unconscious mind? As far as I know, and as honest, I do love her and care for her like a man in a relationship is supposed to do.

Just like men in relationships still maasturbate, that doesn't mean we feel any less for our partner do we?

Basically, just replace maasturbation here with "having 1 night stands". It's still cheating, but it's almost like maasturbation in that you only seek pleasure.. there's no change in heart or devotion. Is it still so bad if you think of it that way then?

Myth might know the answer to that, considering his study and knowledge prepares him to know more about the unconscious mind. But then again, it's an area that can well be debated in. Men who *********ee and are in a relationship probably don't see that as cheating. If we go into this topic a little further in below

Men / woman who *********ee when in a serious relationship -

Is it wrong for male or female to *********ee to the opposite sex, in return for pleasure while being in an on going serious relationship / life time dedicated marriage?

Would YOU think it's wrong, if you have a wife and she admits to, or know or believe that somewhere, somehow, she finds herself attracted to other men, and would love to show this through exercising her sexual ways as in *********iing to them, but behind closed doors.

The thing is, people are naturally cheating, but society doesn't view *********iing as cheating, we view it as lust, a way to experience without experiencing.

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Originally Posted by Myth
No problem. I'm going to delete some messages to make room.

Just delete this account and make a new one for me, so we can talk on that. Kidding, . Gotcha.
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Old 03-25-2013, 09:17 PM   #43
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draz
Myth might know the answer to that, considering his study and knowledge prepares him to know more about the unconscious mind. But then again, it's an area that can well be debated in. Men who *********ee and are in a relationship probably don't see that as cheating. If we go into this topic a little further in below

Men / woman who *********ee when in a serious relationship -

Is it wrong for male or female to *********ee to the opposite sex, in return for pleasure while being in an on going serious relationship / life time dedicated marriage?

Would YOU think it's wrong, if you have a wife and she admits to, or know or believe that somewhere, somehow, she finds herself attracted to other men, and would love to show this through exercising her sexual ways as in *********iing to them, but behind closed doors.

The thing is, people are naturally cheating, but society doesn't view *********iing as cheating, we view it as lust, a way to experience without experiencing.



Just delete this account and make a new one for me, so we can talk on that. Kidding, . Gotcha.
Yeah, pretty much every single men maasturbate even after being in a relationship, and it's not cheating. Even lusting in our minds, it's not cheating, just like if I imagined a crime in my head, it's not a crime in real life.

I wouldn't mind if my wife maasturbates, thinking of whatever she wants to think. That's not my business. There's nothing wrong with that either. And I've met girls, including my gf, that knows guys maasturbates to porn and they don't mind.

So in my mind, I equate cheating (the one-night stand kind, not the kind where you actually date another girl) very closely to maasturbation. As in I go for some type of sexual service, just to get it out of my system.

Is this type of cheating still as bad as society condemns?

In my opinion.. it's not as bad.. but Myth's right.. if I do it knowing it'll hurt my gf when she finds out.. then I'm probably doing something bad. Also, I wouldn't want her to do the same.
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Old 03-25-2013, 09:28 PM   #44
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draz
Myth might know the answer to that, considering his study and knowledge prepares him to know more about the unconscious mind. But then again, it's an area that can well be debated in. Men who *********ee and are in a relationship probably don't see that as cheating. If we go into this topic a little further in below

Men / woman who *********ee when in a serious relationship -

Is it wrong for male or female to *********ee to the opposite sex, in return for pleasure while being in an on going serious relationship / life time dedicated marriage?

Would YOU think it's wrong, if you have a wife and she admits to, or know or believe that somewhere, somehow, she finds herself attracted to other men, and would love to show this through exercising her sexual ways as in *********iing to them, but behind closed doors.

The thing is, people are naturally cheating, but society doesn't view *********iing as cheating, we view it as lust, a way to experience without experiencing.

I'm spending to much time decoding "**********" to figure out what is being said. I can't tell which ones are massturbating and which ones have to do with having sex with others.

If I'm reading the intent correctly though, it will always be difficult to tell what the subconscious mind is feeling. He may view sex with other women as a means of seeking something else, or it may be as clear as it is on the surface that it is just sex. I think it is important to distinguish thoughts of attraction for people and fantasy with the actual strong desire to go through with it. Looking at couples with open relationships is one place where much of this is often debated, and even then the answers never become fully clear. Many couples that are in open relationships tell themselves that it is just sex and they can separate that in their minds. But it is very hard to predict what the reaction will be in advance. Many of those open relationships end in jealousy or with the person getting feelings they were not expecting. All that said, I do believe it is possible to want to have sex with somebody and not have any real emotions involved. It is just difficult to tell if that is true for the individual or if there is something going on subconsciously for the individual.

My take on massturbating is simple: It is efficient. We get urges and our partners can't be there all the time to satisfy said urges, so cranking one out can be very efficient and often pretty much necessary.
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Old 03-25-2013, 09:31 PM   #45
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Default Re: What's your stance on cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ripthekik
Yeah, pretty much every single men maasturbate even after being in a relationship, and it's not cheating. Even lusting in our minds, it's not cheating, just like if I imagined a crime in my head, it's not a crime in real life.

I wouldn't mind if my wife maasturbates, thinking of whatever she wants to think. That's not my business. There's nothing wrong with that either. And I've met girls, including my gf, that knows guys maasturbates to porn and they don't mind.

So in my mind, I equate cheating (the one-night stand kind, not the kind where you actually date another girl) very closely to maasturbation. As in I go for some type of sexual service, just to get it out of my system.

Is this type of cheating still as bad as society condemns?

In my opinion.. it's not as bad.. but Myth's right.. if I do it knowing it'll hurt my gf when she finds out.. then I'm probably doing something bad. Also, I wouldn't want her to do the same.

What I think Myth means when he says it's a good thing that you have the ability to separate sex from love, is that you have control over your feelings and pleasure. Some men and even woman, tend to think the reason why they love pleasure and feel intensity from it is because they love their partner. People like you, may tend to believe you're gaining pleasure because of the sex your having perhaps the situation or the positions, the kinkyness, the objective to orgasm.

Because it is right to have the ability to separate sex and love, doesn't mean that you can put having sex with someone else while being with someone in the same category. It's not, it's different. Being with someone means commitment and a series of struggles, struggles doesn't necessarily mean getting through an argument or a disagreement, it can also mean your struggle for pleasure in other woman, and hers for other men as well.

You need to understand that in a relationship, its society that views you as a couple, dating, or in a marriage (life time commitment). Doing things that embrace either or, is a strong way to show your enjoying being with that person, doing otherwise with someone else, society will look at you as a cheater, perhaps a bad individual in some eyes.
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