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Old 05-30-2013, 01:40 AM   #1
D-Rose
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Default Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

This is my first long term relationship. Have been together almost 2 years now. My girlfriend has expanded my social skills and done a lot for me...but at the same time this relationship is so toxic. It's like trying to revive that road kill skunk over and over.

There's way too much details to tell but for the past year and a half this has sucked. She began as the sweetest girl ever and eventually has become so mean and down right self absorbed. I have been in this for so long because I'm too nice. I've always been too nice, probably why she has taken advantage of me and led her to change.

How do I let go? How do I mentally prepare myself to detach myself from someone who I've been with for two years? I know I love her so much, but I can't do this anymore. It's about time I muster up some damn self respect.

Thoughts?

(awaiting a tl;dr)
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:58 AM   #2
Maniak
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

talk about how you feel with her. dont pussyfoot around with someone you've been dating for 2 years. if that goes bad its just not meant to be.

i dont know.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:00 AM   #3
jaydacris
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

does your girlfriend know any of these feelings that you have?

because i feel you should at least talk to her about them before telling them to your ish hombres
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:04 AM   #4
D-Rose
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

We've had so many fights in the past and I have talked about a lot of this. We pretend everything is fine and move on when it's really not. She has no respect for me at all. Literally cusses at me and gets upset at everything. I just don't understand man...I do so much for her. But there's my problem. I'm not assertive and end up taking the flak. Sometimes she will go on a tirade about how much she hates me and wants to break up...that can't be normal? I just wish I had some balls.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:10 AM   #5
The Macho Man
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Do you spend a bunch of time together? Everyone will get sick of each other if they spend too much time together. Go a week or so without talking to her and only chill with her every once in a while.

Or do it like a band aid.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:17 AM   #6
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by D-Rose
We've had so many fights in the past and I have talked about a lot of this. We pretend everything is fine and move on when it's really not. She has no respect for me at all. Literally cusses at me and gets upset at everything. I just don't understand man...I do so much for her. But there's my problem. I'm not assertive and end up taking the flak. Sometimes she will go on a tirade about how much she hates me and wants to break up...that can't be normal? I just wish I had some balls.

Grow some balls brother. Always remember that you have a limited amount of time in this world and you will never know when you take your last breath. You owe it to yourself to not be a bitch, take a stand and let her know how you feel. If you want to stick around with her, tell her things have to change, otherwise don't be such a ***** and just get out of it.

Quite frankly, from what you said, it is probably best to get out. If she has no respect for you, then you shouldn't be in that relationship.

Let me go ahead and ask. Do you really love her or are you just afraid to be single again? Do you really need the company? What exactly do you love so much about her that you are willing to be her bitch?
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:23 AM   #7
D-Rose
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElPigto
Grow some balls brother. Always remember that you have a limited amount of time in this world and you will never know when you take your last breath. You owe it to yourself to not be a bitch, take a stand and let her know how you feel. If you want to stick around with her, tell her things have to change, otherwise don't be such a ***** and just get out of it.

Quite frankly, from what you said, it is probably best to get out. If she has no respect for you, then you shouldn't be in that relationship.

Let me go ahead and ask. Do you really love her or are you just afraid to be single again? Do you really need the company? What exactly do you love so much about her that you are willing to be her bitch?
It's not that I'm afraid to be single. I guess I have become very attached...barely ever hang out with others anymore. I really do care about her feelings and her emotions though. It would probably kill me inside to think that she's heartbroken or what ever.

The problem is that she doesn't think she's wrong. She has a major ego problem and doesn't even know it. It's just so sad that I've invested so much into this. But I wouldn't want this for the rest of my life.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:29 AM   #8
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by D-Rose
It's not that I'm afraid to be single. I guess I have become very attached...barely ever hang out with others anymore. I really do care about her feelings and her emotions though. It would probably kill me inside to think that she's heartbroken or what ever.

The problem is that she doesn't think she's wrong. She has a major ego problem and doesn't even know it. It's just so sad that I've invested so much into this. But I wouldn't want this for the rest of my life.

Judging by what you've said about her, if you try to bring these issues up with her yourself it's going to turn into a huge fight. You need an impartial 3rd party to hash it out. Get a mutual friend who is mature and won't take sides. Or even a counselor if you're that serious about it.

But if you're set on a break up don't keep dragging it out. It will be tough obviously but you owe it to her and yourself to end it and move on.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:30 AM   #9
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by D-Rose
It's not that I'm afraid to be single. I guess I have become very attached...barely ever hang out with others anymore. I really do care about her feelings and her emotions though. It would probably kill me inside to think that she's heartbroken or what ever.

The problem is that she doesn't think she's wrong. She has a major ego problem and doesn't even know it. It's just so sad that I've invested so much into this. But I wouldn't want this for the rest of my life.

Do you think you can actually work it out? I tend to be a nice guy myself, but sometimes you have to learn to have some self respect. Don't worry about her broken heart. There is no point in continuing in a relationship like this if you are going to be unhappy. Imagine you marry her in the future and then you bring a kid into this world, would you think it's fair to put a kid through hers and your misery?
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:45 AM   #10
D-Rose
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bmulls
Judging by what you've said about her, if you try to bring these issues up with her yourself it's going to turn into a huge fight. You need an impartial 3rd party to hash it out. Get a mutual friend who is mature and won't take sides. Or even a counselor if you're that serious about it.

But if you're set on a break up don't keep dragging it out. It will be tough obviously but you owe it to her and yourself to end it and move on.
Thanks for the advice and you are right. She would engage in a shit storm. She's mad as hell. I'm a pretty calm and collected guy and it throws me off so bad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElPigto
Do you think you can actually work it out? I tend to be a nice guy myself, but sometimes you have to learn to have some self respect. Don't worry about her broken heart. There is no point in continuing in a relationship like this if you are going to be unhappy. Imagine you marry her in the future and then you bring a kid into this world, would you think it's fair to put a kid through hers and your misery?

That helps me a lot thinking about her if we broke up. I think it will work out if I keep biting the bullet and take all the shit and pretend it's all okay. I don't want to wake up in 10 years and regret this and hate my life.

Another thing..I got into this WAY too fast. I know all her family really well and it makes it even harder. I wish I'd had slowed the hell down.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:49 AM   #11
ProfessorMurder
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Need more details, do you live with her?

Always remember, you've got a wild card that you can play. You can go hard as f*ck with a guilt trip because of your leg.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:52 AM   #12
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

If she doesn't let you put it in her butt she's not a keeper.
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Old 05-30-2013, 02:55 AM   #13
D-Rose
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ProfessorMurder
Need more details, do you live with her?

Always remember, you've got a wild card that you can play. You can go hard as f*ck with a guilt trip because of your leg.
Well we have basically been living together for a year and half now...meaning we have our own places but stay together almost all the time. At first I was too clingy and now it's her.

I certainly have tried to spend less time together and all that, but for some reason we end up being together again and have a fight every week or so.

And the leg thing certainly does help

Another thing...I'm about 120 pounds, not fat by any means. This bitch has been on my ass for over a year to work out. I don't have any abs or pecs or much arm muscles. But I mean, i'm a normal looking dude. She throws this shit on me about "not wanting to do what will make her happy"...I have tried many many times to get into a workout routine but always fail bc i'm not committed to it. I mean...isn't that extremely superficial? I don't tell her to go get a boobjob just because I'm not happy with her appearance.
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:00 AM   #14
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Drop her like a rock. You're in the prime of your life, no need to waste time being with a girl who doesn't make you happy.

Just say that all fighting has made you realize she's not the kind of girl you want.
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:08 AM   #15
ProfessorMurder
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by D-Rose
And the leg thing certainly does help



Dude seriously, you need to end that shit. Since you both have your own places then you won't have the awkward 'wait for her to find a place' thing.

Her attacking you about working out and shit is just bonkers.

You should do something like cook a dinner, wait for her to show up, then tell her she can't have any because of how fat she is... Then kick her ass out.
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