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Old 05-30-2013, 05:23 AM   #16
RoseCity07
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

I don't know what to tell you but I know one thing for certain. You can get over someone faster if you realize that your image of them isn't who they really are. So many times I've built up girls in my head to be perfect when in reality we have nothing in common and they're pretty boring.

If you find yourself realizing you only see her in an ideal light, that may help you deal with moving on. I realized after I went through a heartbreak that the girl I was really attached to was long gone. She was a different "version" of the person, a totally stuck up bitch version. The girl I first met might as well have a different body because they are nothing alike as people.

I hope that made sense. It's the best I got.
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Old 05-30-2013, 08:41 AM   #17
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

I initially gathered from the OP that he was requesting the advice of female ISH users.
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:06 AM   #18
niko
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

OMG you're only 21? Dude. Just be honest and tell her you don't want to see her anymore. If she hedges and argues tell her you have other people you want to see. That should kill that dead.
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:07 AM   #19
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ace23
I initially gathered from the OP that he was requesting the advice of female ISH users.
yeah but that's like waiting for unicorns to give you advice so we all ignored.
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:14 AM   #20
KevinNYC
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by D-Rose
We've had so many fights in the past and I have talked about a lot of this. We pretend everything is fine and move on when it's really not. She has no respect for me at all. Literally cusses at me and gets upset at everything. I just don't understand man...I do so much for her. But there's my problem. I'm not assertive and end up taking the flak. Sometimes she will go on a tirade about how much she hates me and wants to break up...that can't be normal? I just wish I had some balls.
It sounds like you won't have to worry about her broken heart as much as her brusied ego.

Also it might that your problems are beyond this relationship. You may want to use the end of this relationship to become more assertive about getting respect so that you can use in the next relationship.
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:33 AM   #21
Jailblazers7
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

I think one issue you might be having is that you got attached to an idea of where you thought this relationship would end up when things were going good. It's your first long-term relationship so you might be holding onto the hopes you had for this relationship and probably stuck around too long because of it.

Honestly, I think your best move here is to tell her that the relationship is unhealthy right now for you and you think a split is necessary. This experience is just part of growing up for most people.
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:47 AM   #22
D-Rose
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Appreciate all the replies. I would definitely call her verbally abusive, not to mention all the psychological pressure. I do think I'm probably holding on to the thought of what ideally could be with us. But again, we moved way too fast. Met all of her family and know them like they're my own..doesn't make it any easier.
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Old 05-30-2013, 10:44 AM   #23
nathanjizzle
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

my ex ended our relationship by dating another person behind my back and then dropping off the face of the earth never to be seen or heard from again.
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:10 AM   #24
step_back
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElPigto
Do you think you can actually work it out? I tend to be a nice guy myself, but sometimes you have to learn to have some self respect. Don't worry about her broken heart. There is no point in continuing in a relationship like this if you are going to be unhappy. Imagine you marry her in the future and then you bring a kid into this world, would you think it's fair to put a kid through hers and your misery?

This is sound advice.

O.P why do you care about hurting her feelings by braking up with her? She clearly has no regard for yours.

Also is it fair to say this is your first girlfriend you've had?
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:19 AM   #25
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

It's sounds like you're a beta, you need to alpha it up bro.
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:22 AM   #26
D-Rose
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by step_back
This is sound advice.

O.P why do you care about hurting her feelings by braking up with her? She clearly has no regard for yours.

Also is it fair to say this is your first girlfriend you've had?
I dated two girls before but those lasted less than a month. So yeah, pretty much my first so that's why I'm so foreign to this process.
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:36 AM   #27
chosen_one6
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Start looking at other options and then break that sh(t off son.
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Old 05-30-2013, 12:11 PM   #28
Burgz V2
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

There is no easy way. Even terrible relationships are hard to break out of.

Just suck it up and tell her.
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Old 05-30-2013, 03:50 PM   #29
step_back
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Quote:
Originally Posted by D-Rose
I dated two girls before but those lasted less than a month. So yeah, pretty much my first so that's why I'm so foreign to this process.

I'd say it's your first real relationship and the fact that it has lasted more than 2 years would explain why you feel so invested in it. Speaking from experience you really shouldn't feel bad about breaking up with someone who makes you unhappy. They certainly don't think twice about your feelings. By staying in this sour relationship you're hurting your chances of meeting the right woman.

My advice is break it off with her and don't contact her again, as hard as it might be don't let her have power over you (Which is what she has now). Go be single and go on a few dates, you're 21 years old you have many years to find the right woman. Staying with this one will just screw with your mind and turn you into a woman hater.
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Old 04-11-2014, 09:56 PM   #30
D-Rose
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Default Re: Female ish: How do you get out of a serious relationship?

Ugh. One year later. Same old story.

It's so difficult, man. Even harder to break up now because of living together and have pets together as well. I can't live my life this way...if it's this bad now...wtf would the future be like?

Could use some more encouraging words, fellas. I need to end this somehow someway...and soon.
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