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Old 06-19-2013, 08:26 AM   #16
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Been at the x-roads for a little while now going a shitty part time job while have not been able to do jack with the degree (so far) we similar ages.....so yeah you ain't alone....
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Old 06-19-2013, 09:10 AM   #17
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scholar
I figured someone would get too curious and want to know.

In 2009, I got busted for possession of marijuana. It was less than 2 grams but the cops gave me a ticket anyway. The fine was just $109, but the charge was registered as a misdemeanor on my record.
In 2011, I applied for police training at my local police department and they told me that my possession of marijuana charge was potentially going to hold me back. I was recommended to keep myself crime-free and apply again in the near future.
Recently, I looked into it again on police forums, where real cops post, and they told me that my possession charge, though not serious, would affect my chances negatively. They informed me that I'd be competing against other candidates who don't even have so much as a speeding ticket on their record.
Lastly, because I had smoked for the last time (at the time) on Feb 18th, 2013, I was told that f*cked me up even more. Apparently, you have to be drug-free for a specific period of time. Most police departments expect a minimum of 3 yrs.

In short, I decided becoming a cop wasn't happening for me.

Edit: Not because I enjoy weed (I don't care for it much anymore) but because I know waiting another 3+ yrs while sitting on my ass isn't cutting it. I'd rather spend those 3 yrs striving towards a real career & not one where I'll forever be treated differently because of a pathetic charge on my record.

Thanks to everyone who responded. This site really does have some great members. You just have to look passed the plethora of garbage posters to find them but they're there.


just get your record expunged. Any police agency will see that you had the mary J charge but when its expunged its "off record".

secondly, how is the dept. you are applying to gonna know you smoked weed in february? I know they make you take lie detectors but lie detectors are really just a gimmick to get people to fess up to stuff.

Edit: how serious are you about becoming a cop? If its not really your ultimate goal and its just an idea you had that you might be good for it because of "your physique" probably not a good idea to get into it.

anyways you should get your MJ charge expunged regardless of what you do.

Last edited by DukeDelonte13 : 06-19-2013 at 09:13 AM.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:41 AM   #18
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Graduated college
>What do I do now?
>Don't want to get my career started
>Don't want to go back to school
>Even if I go back to school, don't know what to get Masters in
>Got a job in China

Never in a million years thought I'd ever live in China lol.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:55 AM   #19
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

23 is YOUNG. You can still change your career path and be whatever you want to be. You just got to find out what you want in life & work towards that goal until you achieve it.

You don't need to quit your full time job to get a higher education. There are plenty of online, part time, and night courses you could take. You'll be tired as hell, but I guarantee it'll pay off in the long run.

You need to delete your facebook account & stop looking at what your peers are doing. That shit will just depress you. Who cares where other people are in life. Just worry about yourself.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:56 AM   #20
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scholar
WARNING: This is verging into tl;dr territory. If you'd rather skip this and just want to discuss your own situation, whether past or present, go right ahead. The actual thread question is at the bottom in red colored font.

Back in January of 2012, I decided to take between 6-12 months off from school in order to work full-time. I make a couple grand per month at my job, albeit while working over 60 hrs per week, and at the time, it seemed like a great amount of money.

I had just finished my AA degree in Social & Behavioral Sciences at a community college. I was planning on transferring over to a university after working for ~1 year.

January 2013 rolled by and I realized I spent a year not doing shit with my life. I worked all the time, spent all my money on dumb shit, only had a small amount of money saved in my savings account, etc., so I stuck with what I was doing. I figured I wasn't ready just yet to devote myself full-time to education again.
I began working out a lot because I work as a security guard, and I still think if I'm in pretty good shape, I can advance in this career by looking for jobs at other companies, where maybe my physique will be important.

I've always wanted to be a cop. I thought my security experience would help me in that regard, but I recently visited some cop forums where I was informed that due to my past mistake, odds are that I will be overlooked at every police academy I attempt to enroll in.

Anyway, now I'm stuck. I was under the impression that working for a year (now deep into my 18th month out of college) would let me get my feet planted, but it's done the complete opposite. I don't know what I want to do with my life.

This might sound pathetic to some of you, but it's a real ordeal for me at the moment. I'm 23. I know of people from my high school who are already done with their Bachelor's Degree programs or close to it, a few of them travelling out of the country to experience life/further education, one of them is advancing into PhD territory, and my best friend has finally finished his AA degree after putting it off for a long time and is moving out of state to attend a university.

I'm not stupid either. I averaged a 3.2 GPA throughout college, which isn't impressive, but that's coming from someone who NEVER studied, smoked weed before practically every class, and worked long hours everyday. I also took and passed Advanced Placement classes in high school, but I used to mess around back then a bit too much, which explains why I found myself attending a community college instead of a university like everyone else who attended those classes with me.

My Social & Behavioral Sciences AA degree isn't worth shit. It's basically a Sociology degree. I don't know why I went for it. I feel stupid for that. It doesn't lead to any worthwhile jobs. Advancing further into it (as in, getting a Bachelor's in S&B Sciences) wouldn't result in very high paying jobs...

BTW, quitting my 60 hrs+ per week job is out of the question. I'm not capable of finding a higher paying job. Before this job, I was working for minimum wage. This current job might as well be minimum wage, but it's ALMOST a guaranteed job; therefore, I can't get myself to look for something else, knowing that most security companies are like advanced temp agencies. They need you when there's work, let go of you if there isn't any. Fuck that.

I know I can't keep putting it off because I have people who rely on me for a living (most specifically, my kid), but I just feel like I'm fucked. It's either I keep working these long, shitty hours and try to put off at least taking online courses for a while longer or I immediately enroll in an online course without actually knowing what I want out of life.

*sigh* At this point, I'm just ranting about my life. How about you guys? Anybody else in a situation where you're not sure what you want out of life? Or for those who were in a position similar to this but eventually found a way out, how'd you do it?

1. Expunge your record. Call it stupid all you want, but that blemish will hurt your chances with a lot of great careers. Most good jobs will require a drug test, and if you already have a record that says you used drugs, chances are you won't even make it to the test part.

2. Since you have a kid, forget about going back to school. You need a job. You left school for a reason.

3. Look up the 5 top states as far as opportunities go (I believe Houston is #1 and Oklahoma is #2). Consider moving. If you are stuck in a sh*tty state with no job opportunities, getting a job pushing shopping carts will be hard (less oportunities, more competition). I've been to Oklahoma recently, and trust me, they have NOW HIRING signs line up at every corner for great careers at legitimate corporations. You won't see this at places in California, for example, because the market place is flooded with too many applicants and not enough employers. With less competition, the requirements are lower, so your chances are far greater, which makes relocation more important than a college degree.

4. If you are a physical specimen, don't just limit yourself to a cop. You can be a warehouse worker. They get paid more than cops and they get the same benefits. I know distribution companies that would just hire someone just because they are big in size ALONE, meaning they don't have to have a college degree or job experience; as long as they can load and unload trucks for 8 hours then they'll get the job making $50,000+ with full benefits depending on the company.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:58 AM   #21
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Niko is right, weed has not been a good friend to you. Drop it.

Whatever you pursue don't forget to enjoy what you have. Young people in particular spend so much time working for and worrying about the future that the present flies by with hardly a notice.
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Old 06-19-2013, 02:41 PM   #22
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rufuspaul
Niko is right, weed has not been a good friend to you. Drop it.

Whatever you pursue don't forget to enjoy what you have. Young people in particular spend so much time working for and worrying about the future that the present flies by with hardly a notice.

Yes, my other married friends with kids always complain about the lack of time, they never watch TV, they never get to play with the kids, etc. You have time, jobs do allow you to go home eventually or weekend and at that time you need to do those things. if i need to lose an hour of sleep to watch Hannibal than i will lose the hour of sleep. If i have to go to 5am to work tommorrow morning to leave on time to play with my kids in the park then i will do so. Balance is important, without balance eventually you become a pretty crappy worker because health and concentration suffer.
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Old 06-19-2013, 06:17 PM   #23
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Consider the military. I went to college for 4 years on my parents' dollar out of high school, put up very lackluster grades and basically wasted their money. I moved out of their house, then eventually decided to join the Army on a whim, just because nothing else better was going on in my life. I was 22 at the time.

I was a medic in the Army, did a couple of overseas deployments and decided I wanted to be in medicine permanently. Discharged in 06, went back to school with an eye towards an end, fast forward to today and I'm a physician assistant now with a degree from the University of Washington.

I think the Army motivated me personally to do whatever it took to not have to enlist again. I personally wouldn't go back because I got what I needed ot of it. That being said, I think it was the best decision I ever made. It focused and motivated me.

Last edited by Goldrush25 : 06-19-2013 at 06:19 PM.
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Old 06-19-2013, 06:20 PM   #24
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

People who say weed isn't bad is a dumbass.

Sure we havn't proved it does anything negative to our organs, but i believe it has a psychological effect. I've been around people who smoke once a day and i can tell you that they are not as driven. They tend to settle where they're at because weed allows them to.

Anyways, for me no. I'm starting grad school in a doctoral program in August so life's been good to me. The only stress i have right now is figuring out the living situation/getting shots paperwork/required health insurance papers etc.
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Old 06-19-2013, 06:56 PM   #25
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StocktonFan
People who say weed isn't bad is a dumbass.

Sure we havn't proved it does anything negative to our organs, but i believe it has a psychological effect. I've been around people who smoke once a day and i can tell you that they are not as driven. They tend to settle where they're at because weed allows them to.
So being happier where you are in life is bad?
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Old 06-20-2013, 01:08 AM   #26
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

First of all for God's sake drop the 60 hour a week job working some lame ass job. Put in your 40 hours or whatever you need to live comfortably and get the hell out of there. A job like that working that many hours will keep you retarded and unmotivated. It's a complete waste of time and life if you don't have a passion for it.

Second... don't worry about where you at. This is a crossroads for many people (myself included) and some people our age go off the deep end and start lighting up movie theaters. This age is a weird age.

Third... like others have said, don't worry about what others do. It may seem like they are successful but chances are it's not all roses and you aren't interested in becoming a phd or creating the cure for cancer... no problem with not having astronomical ambition. Those people live some stressed out lives... I know I wouldn't want it.

Fourth... I don't know if you have done much psychology study, but the ego always wants more. No matter where you are at, the ego always wants something beyond it. The trick is realize that and tell it to shut the hell up. Capitalism plays on ego drive and convinces people to believe all sorts of random crap like consumerism, keeping up with the Jones's, cosmetic surgeries trying to look younger, and on and on... Take some time and really reflect on society and sift through all the bullshit and figure out what is important to you. Me? I am back home with my mom after a 2 year job at a rice factory that I found boring as hell, working part time, going to school, going to meetup groups and trying new shit... embracing the extra time I have. Some people might think I am loser I don't give a shit because I don't think of myself that way. It's all how you look at it dude. You could frustrate yourself for days thinking about/giving into societal pressures or you could realize that life doesn't mean a damn thing so live the way you want, make your own choices, and realize that a society is just a way of keeping people distracted and in order.

Hope this helps. Trust me dude I have had to do some serious reflecting as I went through the worst depression ever 6 months ago... now I have little moments here and there due to chemicals in the brain, but I know that is all it is and that as long as I get enough food, release a load every now and then and have a decent place to stay then what do I have to complain about really? Also, I don't know if you have ever heard of the books "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle... but those books and others like them are the truth man and could help set you free for the rest of your life and open up a spiritual side of yourself that you never thought possible. Just a thought.

Good luck dude.
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Old 06-20-2013, 02:16 AM   #27
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StocktonFan
People who say weed isn't bad is a dumbass.

At least mine grammar are pretty
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Old 06-20-2013, 02:18 AM   #28
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ace23
So being happier where you are in life is bad?

This guy knows some lazy stoners, he's perfectly qualified to discuss weed's merits. When in doubt, blame the weed.
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Old 06-20-2013, 03:16 AM   #29
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

OP, You got a job now that's putting food on the table, sounds like a bit of a ball buster but you're doing better than a whole bunch of folks right now. You're still young but it's not the time (with a kid) to be making impulsive decisions like a young man.

Somebody mentioned a career counselor, go for it. Ask around, find somebody you can work with and find the path that fits your long term goals. Just be patient, create a plan that's doable and put it into action.
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Old 06-20-2013, 03:19 AM   #30
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Default Re: Is anybody else at a crossroads in life right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ace23
So being happier where you are in life is bad?


being 25 and not having goals is...
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