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Old 06-30-2013, 08:17 AM   #1
Maksimilian
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Default Chicks with ex bf baggage

Anyone else had this problem?

Im not usually one to highlight my love life online but Id like too hear random peoples opinions who wont sugar coat anything or try and spare emotions because they know me. Anyways Ill tell ya the story you let me know what ya think. Ill keep it as short as possible :)

Met this girl through my mates. They warned me from beginning shes been in a relationship with a dickhead for heaps of years on n off (he cheats on her all the time). Anyways i didn't take her serious at beginning, just another hot girl. Started flirting with her just too see how far i could get. Anyways that flirting turned into full on talking for like 10 hours a day for the next two weeks (As it does).

I asked her too meet up, she kept saying she wasn't ready blah blah. I respected that, told her its better if we stop talking cos we were getting way too close for there not to be interaction. So we stopped, i took her off facebook, deleted her number, was sweet. Then she got back at me texting non stop asking me to come meet her at a club and she was ready. So I did. She came back to mine, but we didnt ****. We continued talking for the next 2 weeks hardcore the exact same way, like ridiculously got on it was freaky. Shed come past, sleep over some time. We never ****ed though.

Then one day she told me "I dont know what uv done to me, my ex bf is sending me flowers, crying to me, saying he wants me back......but i have no interest in going back to him blah blah". I told her from the beginning that I didnt care if she was still talkin to her ex, but to just be honest with me and let me know so I dont get to strung up etc.

Then shit got off after that. We met up at a club with mutual friends one night, she was really stand-ofish. Her phone rang that night and i picked it up ; It was her bf who usually calls from private but this time it was an unblocked number. That was my first inkling. She came over few days later, we agreed to try and take the relationship a little further the following Friday night. Throughout the whole process she was always adamant that she wasn't ready to go full ball, and that it had to be baby steps after been in a relationship for 6 years.

Anyways i was really lookin forward to that Friday, but subconsciously i knew she would cancel. And that's what she did with some excuse about needing "to be with my friend who just broke up with her bf and keep her company". Obviously I didnt believe that story and i told her that. She wasnt happy I didnt beleive her. She said "Ill call you if i finish early and maybe come past" and i replied "Yeah wateva". She didnt reply.

Next day I sent her an abusive message saying I know shes gone to see her ex before and that she isnt who i thought she was (Maybe i took it too far). She replied saying im the best guy shes ever met and she "doesn't know what she did to piss me off". I saw her few days later in a club and she messaged me saying "was good to see ya, ive missed ya". I asked her to come over, she ddnt reply.....So i went skits at her again saying shes just using me as a rebound blah blah. She rang me started crying on phone.....And then ended it by saying she needs time to think about things.

I talked to her on and off next few days, and she admitted too going too see her ex after she cancelled on me that Friday night (Because I didnt believe her about her friend). Then few days later she told me she wasnt 100% over her ex and she was really sorry. I said thats cool, maybe I should see other people then too and we stopped talkin for like a week. But she started liking my photos on facebook, all that subtle shit.....So we started chatting and flirting again.

Anyways I asked her if shed slept with him whilst we were talking. She said "Not while we were talking no". And i was like "what does that mean? Does that count the few days we werent talking". She goes "is that really necessary to ask?" and i was like "You pretty much just answered it" and she said "No I didnt". Then i went psycho at her. I wasnt 100% sure if she had or not, but I suspected she did and i wasnt happy it only took her a few days after me saying we shouldnt talk for her to jump back at him.

Anyways weve talked a little bit since, ive apologised for been angry, shes apologised for whats happened. Said she really liked me, but it was too hard etc. Ive stopped talking to her the last week, and shes gone back to her ex.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what do you guys think? Did she like me? Did she just use me as a rebound/for attention? Is it too much for me to expect her too get over her ex so quickly? Why do girls go back to guys who continuously cheat on them? Is it fair that she slept with him only a few days after ceasing contact with me? Shes only been with two guys in her life. And usually when she breaks up with her ex she goes back to him after a week, I had her for two months. Only guy shes hooked up with besides her ex in the last 6 years etc.

I feel for her cos its probly hard after 6 years. And no doubt her ex came back crying sending flowers saying he cant live without her that he can change etc. And she fell for it. Her ex literally is a ****en redneck hillbilly though so it pisses me off.

What should I do? Lay low and wait for her too get ****ed over again? How do i react when/if she starts talking to me again? Dont worry ill be seing other girls too, im not waiting around. I just know there was something special there.

Anyone got similar stories?
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:09 AM   #2
kNIOKAS
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

You're a bitch and grow a pair before next time you try this "relationship".
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:20 AM   #3
Meticode
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

If you want a relationship with her and you care about her the best thing to do is to just pay casual attention to her. Friendship type of deal. But honestly just move on in this case IMO.

There's plenty of other women out there, very nice ones that have been treated like dirt by guys looking to be treated with respect and honor that will honor you.

Last edited by Meticode : 06-30-2013 at 10:23 AM.
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:24 AM   #4
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

she must be very good looking i mean damn man no ***** is worth all that bs
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:29 AM   #5
Maksimilian
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by brownmamba00
she must be very good looking i mean damn man no ***** is worth all that bs

Yeah mate I aint the girlfriend type. Havnt had one since Middle School in fact. Shes ridiculously hot. But a great girl too that's most important thing. I can easily bounce back with a hot chick that aint a problem.......issue is whether i should give her a chance when she comes back. Like I said im not really into "relationships and dating".....Shes only one ive been intereted in like that in yearssss
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:37 AM   #6
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

It's pretty easy to say you're exerting too much energy and she is acting like a 16 year old.

I'm gonna blow your guys minds.

Life: guys do what they Can, girls do what they Want.

If she wanted you, it'd be sunshine n flowers bro, you'd know it. All this back n forth bs means her mind is fcked up, she doesn't know which way to go and she is subconsciously playing it safe by telling you both what you want to hear periodically in order to keep you guys around. Why wouldn't she? She's a girl she loves the attention.

There is no end all be all answer. It depends on who you are as a man and what you want.

A girl with baggage such as this requires tons of patience, and you can be sure that it will run you dry emotionally with all the ups and downs. Which is why I initially said you wasting too much energy. If she's special though, then you will have to continue this headache and ride it out until she completely phases her ex out of her life and replaces him with you. Until then, you're filling in gaps that he leaves open, things she needs but isn't getting from him. It's a gamble, but patience is the only offense.

Alternatively, if you rationalize the situation and figure out what she's doing isn't fair to you.. Then you should be looking past her and continue to meet new girls which requires much less energy, not at all emotionally stressful, and keeps you much more in control of your own happiness. As it stands now, the ball is in her court and in my opinion it isn't at all fair to you.

So it's a trade off and depends on if she's worth it to you. I feel like having so many obstacles before you guys are even together though, destroys the potential of a healthy strong relationship in the future.
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:40 AM   #7
brownmamba00
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maksimilian
Yeah mate I aint the girlfriend type. Havnt had one since Middle School in fact. Shes ridiculously hot. But a great girl too that's most important thing. I can easily bounce back with a hot chick that aint a problem.......issue is whether i should give her a chance when she comes back. Like I said im not really into "relationships and dating".....Shes only one ive been intereted in like that in yearssss
If you really want her you should go and get her, not wait on her to come back.

But if I was you, I move on, start looking at other chicks (unless she's prime jessica alba pretty)
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:41 AM   #8
Meticode
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by brownmamba00
If you really want her you should go and get her, not wait on her to come back.

But if I was you, I move on, start looking at other chicks (unless she's prime jessica alba pretty)
Doesn't matter if she's mental.
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:44 AM   #9
Maksimilian
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Cheers Kaspah! Your thoughts echo exactly what I think, and probly the best advice out there.

And yeah she is hot. 170cm tall, fake boobs. Thin. Real pretty face.

PS. I already said shes back with her ex atm. I cant go get that, and neither would I talk to someone in a relationship. Would jsut be giving her too much attention
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:45 AM   #10
Meticode
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maksimilian
Cheers Kaspah! Your thoughts echo exactly what I think, and probly the best advice out there.

And yeah she is hot. 170cm tall, fake boobs. Thin. Real pretty face.
Pictures, now. We cannot make accurate judgement without pictures.
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:52 AM   #11
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maksimilian

And yeah she is hot. 170cm tall, fake boobs. Thin. Real pretty face.

Most women with them tend to have pretty big mental issues that's already a warning sign no matter how nice they look and are to touch.
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Old 06-30-2013, 10:57 AM   #12
brownmamba00
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maksimilian
Cheers Kaspah! Your thoughts echo exactly what I think, and probly the best advice out there.

And yeah she is hot. 170cm tall, fake boobs. Thin. Real pretty face.

PS. I already said shes back with her ex atm. I cant go get that, and neither would I talk to someone in a relationship. Would jsut be giving her too much attention
shorter girls are very handy in bed
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:21 PM   #13
enayes
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaspah
It's pretty easy to say you're exerting too much energy and she is acting like a 16 year old.

I'm gonna blow your guys minds.

Life: guys do what they Can, girls do what they Want.

If she wanted you, it'd be sunshine n flowers bro, you'd know it. All this back n forth bs means her mind is fcked up, she doesn't know which way to go and she is subconsciously playing it safe by telling you both what you want to hear periodically in order to keep you guys around. Why wouldn't she? She's a girl she loves the attention.

There is no end all be all answer. It depends on who you are as a man and what you want.

A girl with baggage such as this requires tons of patience, and you can be sure that it will run you dry emotionally with all the ups and downs. Which is why I initially said you wasting too much energy. If she's special though, then you will have to continue this headache and ride it out until she completely phases her ex out of her life and replaces him with you. Until then, you're filling in gaps that he leaves open, things she needs but isn't getting from him. It's a gamble, but patience is the only offense.

Alternatively, if you rationalize the situation and figure out what she's doing isn't fair to you.. Then you should be looking past her and continue to meet new girls which requires much less energy, not at all emotionally stressful, and keeps you much more in control of your own happiness. As it stands now, the ball is in her court and in my opinion it isn't at all fair to you.

So it's a trade off and depends on if she's worth it to you. I feel like having so many obstacles before you guys are even together though, destroys the potential of a healthy strong relationship in the future.

Great post. I completely agree.

On another, fake boobs? Guys like fake boobs? (referring to OP's comment)
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:27 PM   #14
Goliath Uterus
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by enayes
On another, fake boobs? Guys like fake boobs? (referring to OP's comment)


If they improved how she looks, why not? I like big boobs, and it means her parents/herself are probably loaded....
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Old 06-30-2013, 05:57 PM   #15
enayes
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Default Re: Chicks with ex bf baggage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goliath Uterus
If they improved how she looks, why not? I like big boobs, and it means her parents/herself are probably loaded....


But won't they feel fake? I don't know but for me sucking on a fake tit would be a huge turnoff. I'd rather deal with naturals, no matter their size.
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