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Old 02-20-2007, 12:36 AM   #1
pete's montreux
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Default Personal basketball stories

Inspired by the other thread. Funny/weird/interesting basketball stories?

I was playing at a half-court park near my girlfriend's house, and a group of kids came by and asked if I wanted to join then in a fun game of 3 on 3. They had one decent player, so it was basically a one on one with the other guys setting picks and grabbing rebounds. Their style of play was to pass the ball in-bounds from the side on every made bucket, which I had never done before. Anyways, there was one really frumpy white kid, you know, long greasy hair, baggy jeans, a sweater 3 times too big, ugly disgusting barely tied sneakers. He kept diving into me to try to steal the ball on the in-bounds pass, and after the 3rd or 4th time I really started to get pissed off because he wasn't just trying to steal the ball, he was trying to push me out of the way, or knock me over to get it.

I hadn't even played in like, 6 weeks, so I was a bit rusty and a step slow, so I couldn't get away from him, plus the kid who was passing it in always lobbed it to me several times after I yelled at him to bounce pass it [moron]. He kept doing it, and I told him that if he kept doing it, one of us were going to get hurt, either I was going to trip and knock my head on the ground, and then I would have to whoop his ass, or we were going to knock heads or something. He says, "yeah, sure buddy, whatever".

So the very next play, the retarded kid lobs it to me, the frumpy kid jumps into my body trying to steal the ball as it just reaching my hands, his face smashes into my elbow and there was an explosion of blood, and he falls to the ground screaming in pain, with blood pouring out of his mouth, while he's spitting teeth onto the ground. I look at my elbow, and there's barely a scratch on it, only a small spot of blood from a cut, and this kid is missing his four front teeth. He's rolling all over the place in his own puddle of blood looking for his teeth, and all I had to say was, "I told you so." He gets up with his teeth in his hands, blood stained shirt, crying like a little school girl, and asks me for a ride to the hospital just down the street. Nope! Get in my car and drive off into the night ala Knight Rider ready for another adventure.

I actually saw the kid walking down the street like four months later talking on a cell phone with four missing teeth. I laughed a little, and then imagined what it's going to feel like when the devil is poking me in the ass with his flame-throwing trident.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:21 AM   #2
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Man it's going to cost literally thousands for him to get the reconstructive dental surgery neccessary to replace them if he chooses to. I'm in a similar situation now but only with one tooth
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:38 AM   #3
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

you're an @$$hole man. How do you not feeling guilty for that.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:57 AM   #4
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Masterplan
you're an @$$hole man. How do you not feeling guilty for that.

Please, explain to me why I should feel guilty.
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Old 02-20-2007, 10:55 AM   #5
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Masterplan
you're an @$$hole man. How do you not feeling guilty for that.

it was just an accident...he never said he went out to mash the kids face
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Old 02-20-2007, 05:58 PM   #6
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

I have a story not too different from your's Pete's.

A few years ago during New Year's eve. I was over partying at my nephew-in-law's house. I'm not much of a drinker, but everyone else was pounding. Anyways, this house is right next to a church that has a hoop court right on the parking lot. We decided to walk over there and get a game going. First mistake is that visibility was bad, because there were no lights. After a few minutes I sprint and curl into the key and "wham!!!"....my mouth went numb. I reached up and my front right tooth was bent back, but not loose. As I'm dazed I see my friend clutching his forehead. He had a cut. Everyone ran to him cause he had a little blood, and I was just left standing there like a moron. A few days later, he needed no stitches and my tooth was bent back into place and fused there for about a month. I'm never gonna play basketball in the dark with a bunch of drunk dudes.
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Old 02-20-2007, 06:09 PM   #7
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by different107
it was just an accident...he never said he went out to mash the kids face


He's not an ******* for him losing his teeth, he's an ******* for driving off and not bringing him to the hospital.
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Old 02-20-2007, 06:12 PM   #8
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by pete's montreux
Please, explain to me why I should feel guilty.

for not being a nice guy and taking him to the hospital. You can go under the list of "whats wrong in the world"
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Old 02-20-2007, 06:51 PM   #9
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Masterplan
for not being a nice guy and taking him to the hospital. You can go under the list of "whats wrong in the world"

Disclaimer: Must read story before being allowed to make comments.

Please follow disclaimer.
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Old 02-20-2007, 06:59 PM   #10
pete's montreux
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by glidedrxlr22
I have a story not too different from your's Pete's.

A few years ago during New Year's eve. I was over partying at my nephew-in-law's house. I'm not much of a drinker, but everyone else was pounding. Anyways, this house is right next to a church that has a hoop court right on the parking lot. We decided to walk over there and get a game going. First mistake is that visibility was bad, because there were no lights. After a few minutes I sprint and curl into the key and "wham!!!"....my mouth went numb. I reached up and my front right tooth was bent back, but not loose. As I'm dazed I see my friend clutching his forehead. He had a cut. Everyone ran to him cause he had a little blood, and I was just left standing there like a moron. A few days later, he needed no stitches and my tooth was bent back into place and fused there for about a month. I'm never gonna play basketball in the dark with a bunch of drunk dudes.

I have, yet, another similar story. It was 2002, game three of the Eastern Conference Finals in Boston, and a bunch of buddies and myself decided to go into Boston to try to buy some tickets from scalpers, but of course they were selling them for hundreds, and we were expecting $75-100, so we walked down to Hooters instead to watch it. We all know what happened, and we were all pretty hammered. We got back on the train, and everybody was drunk and rowdy, and we got into a fight with some Jersey fans, and we ended up throwing one of them off at some random stop, which was funny, but not the story.

It was probably like 2 in the morning when we all decided to go to the park next to me house. A bunch of drunk guys, at night, playing basketball, probably not a good idea. Anyways, the game was going pretty well until my best buddy Ryan scored on me, and jokingly, as he was walking away, I threw the ball at him. He took it a little more seriously and picked up the ball and hummed it at me as hard as he could. I tried catching it but failed, and felt a slightly painful sting on two of my fingers, I looked down and my ring and middle fingers were dislocated so bad man. They had popped out, and were pushed like 3 inches INTO my hand. So I had two fingers that were three inches shorter than normal, and my knuckles were in my hand! I freaked out, and picked up the ball, and bounced it really hard off the ground, only to have it land of my other friends face and fracture his nose.

Man, what a great night.
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Old 02-20-2007, 07:18 PM   #11
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by pete's montreux
Disclaimer: Must read story before being allowed to make comments.

Please follow disclaimer.

I did read the story before i made any post. Technically, it was the fault of the guy that threw the ball. Not the guy that was playing quite aggressive.
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Old 02-20-2007, 07:57 PM   #12
pete's montreux
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Masterplan
I did read the story before i made any post. Technically, it was the fault of the guy that threw the ball. Not the guy that was playing quite aggressive.

Oh, so it wasn't the fault of the guy who was throwing himself into my general direction? More like rocketing through the air resulting in a cataclysmic clash between two people? It's his attitude that pissed me off, not him throwing himself into my body.

So, again, explain to me why I should feel guilty?
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:50 PM   #13
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

drunk dudes+playing hoops at night=disaster
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Old 02-20-2007, 10:10 PM   #14
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

f.ucking bastard.
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Old 02-26-2007, 07:58 PM   #15
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Default Re: Personal basketball stories

OMG OMG OMG OMG OM GOM GOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOGMOGM



one time i bouncded the ball good
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