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Old 03-11-2007, 10:25 PM   #1
Derek
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Default Why people shouldn't get married

I was discussing this with a friend and I have some theories on why people shouldn't get married. Some of the theories may be a little messed up, but very true:

1)The sex ends. When you are going out, the sex is great. Getting laid is the first thing that comes to mind. The blow jobs last like 15 minutes. All is good, right? Yes, until you get married. Once, you get married, you know you're stuck with this person until the divorce papers arrive. The sex, sucks, the blow jobs last like two minutes. If you went to a restaurant, you'd have to send that **** back. "Waiter, this blow job ****in sucks".

2)Women are never pleased. You could have a diamond dick and ejaculate 10 times during sex, but the woman will always find something to complain about. "Your diamond is cloudy. You didn't ejaculate enough". This is why God didn't give women a dick and balls.

3)You always find yourselves going out with married couples. It may not seem like a bad thing, but it sucks man. You got the women talking about who's purse matches with their blouse and all that other bull****. Guys are talking about which side roads to take to work when there's traffic on I-95. What ever happened to sex and sports? This is why these meals last like 6 hours. You got to eat appetizers, eat the soup, bull**** with the cook, bull**** with the maitre'd, talk about Pavarotti. With non-married people, they got ****ing to do. Have your 45 minute meal, go home and ****. Their relationships consists of this: ****ing, movies, more ****ing, movies, some more ****ing, eating, ****ing. You get the drill.

4)Part 2 of the women are never pleased theory. This one relates to money. When you're married, your wife always *****es about money. If you make more money: "You're never home. We never have sex". If he's never home, maybe it's not worth having sex. Ever think of that? If she makes more money: You're such a ****in deadbeat. Why did I ever marry you, you wasteless piece of ****.


My friend and I agreed on these theories and most of the other guys did as well. Sorry for the tirade and profanity, but it had to be said. Guys, if possible, DO NOT get married. You'll thank me in 20 years.
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Old 03-11-2007, 10:37 PM   #2
dak121
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

That pretty much sums it up.
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Old 03-11-2007, 10:38 PM   #3
El Kabong
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Hmmm, seems very much like Eddie Murphy Raw
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Old 03-11-2007, 11:51 PM   #4
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

i'm a little bit of a traditionalist, one should get married... people always think too much of sex n sh!t, that's not life...
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Old 03-11-2007, 11:51 PM   #5
rezznor
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek
I was discussing this with a friend and I have some theories on why people shouldn't get married. Some of the theories may be a little messed up, but very true:

1)The sex ends. When you are going out, the sex is great. Getting laid is the first thing that comes to mind. The blow jobs last like 15 minutes. All is good, right? Yes, until you get married. Once, you get married, you know you're stuck with this person until the divorce papers arrive. The sex, sucks, the blow jobs last like two minutes. If you went to a restaurant, you'd have to send that **** back. "Waiter, this blow job ****in sucks".

2)Women are never pleased. You could have a diamond dick and ejaculate 10 times during sex, but the woman will always find something to complain about. "Your diamond is cloudy. You didn't ejaculate enough". This is why God didn't give women a dick and balls.

3)You always find yourselves going out with married couples. It may not seem like a bad thing, but it sucks man. You got the women talking about who's purse matches with their blouse and all that other bull****. Guys are talking about which side roads to take to work when there's traffic on I-95. What ever happened to sex and sports? This is why these meals last like 6 hours. You got to eat appetizers, eat the soup, bull**** with the cook, bull**** with the maitre'd, talk about Pavarotti. With non-married people, they got ****ing to do. Have your 45 minute meal, go home and ****. Their relationships consists of this: ****ing, movies, more ****ing, movies, some more ****ing, eating, ****ing. You get the drill.

4)Part 2 of the women are never pleased theory. This one relates to money. When you're married, your wife always *****es about money. If you make more money: "You're never home. We never have sex". If he's never home, maybe it's not worth having sex. Ever think of that? If she makes more money: You're such a ****in deadbeat. Why did I ever marry you, you wasteless piece of ****.


My friend and I agreed on these theories and most of the other guys did as well. Sorry for the tirade and profanity, but it had to be said. Guys, if possible, DO NOT get married. You'll thank me in 20 years.

not always true, tho usuallly is. just need to find that right one, and not marry the first thing that comes along.
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Old 03-11-2007, 11:52 PM   #6
rezznor
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

the most important thing that ive seen is DONT MARRY YOUNG! live your life a bit first, find out what you really want. give yourself some time to mature and start your career.
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Old 03-12-2007, 01:25 AM   #7
gsxr1kryder
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

yeah. maybe you're not selecting the right one. Think about it. You hopefully don't buy the first car you test drive. Same thing with women. Don't marry the first one you have feelings for. I know guys that are married that pretty much everything you said is true.
But I've been married for 12 years now, and
#1 is wrong by all means. and 15 minutes. hell, I can't last 5. girl knows what she is doin'
#2 is wrong, but only because she complains we don't have sex enough.
The only one that is sorta right is about the money. but it's nothing that we've ever really gotten into a fight about. most of the time it's that she thinks I don't need to work overtime, going back to my #2.
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Old 03-12-2007, 01:26 AM   #8
SupermanOnSteroids
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Mother In Law!!!
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Old 03-12-2007, 01:33 AM   #9
wally_world
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Quote:
Mother In Law!!!

hmmmm... i see...
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Old 03-12-2007, 01:34 AM   #10
L.Kizzle
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek
I was discussing this with a friend and I have some theories on why people shouldn't get married. Some of the theories may be a little messed up, but very true:

1)The sex ends. When you are going out, the sex is great. Getting laid is the first thing that comes to mind. The blow jobs last like 15 minutes. All is good, right? Yes, until you get married. Once, you get married, you know you're stuck with this person until the divorce papers arrive. The sex, sucks, the blow jobs last like two minutes. If you went to a restaurant, you'd have to send that **** back. "Waiter, this blow job ****in sucks".

2)Women are never pleased. You could have a diamond dick and ejaculate 10 times during sex, but the woman will always find something to complain about. "Your diamond is cloudy. You didn't ejaculate enough". This is why God didn't give women a dick and balls.

3)You always find yourselves going out with married couples. It may not seem like a bad thing, but it sucks man. You got the women talking about who's purse matches with their blouse and all that other bull****. Guys are talking about which side roads to take to work when there's traffic on I-95. What ever happened to sex and sports? This is why these meals last like 6 hours. You got to eat appetizers, eat the soup, bull**** with the cook, bull**** with the maitre'd, talk about Pavarotti. With non-married people, they got ****ing to do. Have your 45 minute meal, go home and ****. Their relationships consists of this: ****ing, movies, more ****ing, movies, some more ****ing, eating, ****ing. You get the drill.

4)Part 2 of the women are never pleased theory. This one relates to money. When you're married, your wife always *****es about money. If you make more money: "You're never home. We never have sex". If he's never home, maybe it's not worth having sex. Ever think of that? If she makes more money: You're such a ****in deadbeat. Why did I ever marry you, you wasteless piece of ****.


My friend and I agreed on these theories and most of the other guys did as well. Sorry for the tirade and profanity, but it had to be said. Guys, if possible, DO NOT get married. You'll thank me in 20 years.


Are you Chris Rock.
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Old 03-12-2007, 01:51 AM   #11
0ne50
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

You'll never find two people who are "perfect" for each other. The marriage game is rigged. What's in it for a man?
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Old 03-12-2007, 03:05 AM   #12
DaHeezy
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Quote:
Originally Posted by L.Kizzle
Are you Chris Rock.

Exactly where he stole this bit from.
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Old 03-12-2007, 03:42 AM   #13
Sword.Dragons
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Lol, all i got from that is NO SEX.. get over it, stop crying like a *****..
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Old 03-12-2007, 08:02 AM   #14
Derek
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaHeezy
Exactly where he stole this bit from.


Exactly. I saw this last night on HBO. Regardless, Chris Rock made a lot of sense. Especially about affirmative action.
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Old 03-12-2007, 08:03 AM   #15
det2orl
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Default Re: Why people shouldn't get married

Sounds like you've been wronged or listening to the wrong people. Take it from me sex doesn't stop when you're married and the BJ still last 15-20 mins


Marriage isn't the easiest thing but it sure as hell isn't a bad thing.
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