Message Board Basketball Forum - InsideHoops

Go Back   Message Board Basketball Forum - InsideHoops > InsideHoops Main Basketball Forums > Off the Court Lounge

Off the Court Lounge Basketball fans talk about everything EXCEPT basketball here

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-16-2016, 09:34 PM   #16
!@#$%Vectors!@#
Nanimosuruna, Kizaru
 
!@#$%Vectors!@#'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Kizaru-Oops,you're Ben Beckman
Posts: 2,773
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draz
The entire point is being smooth. If you aren't smooth, you'll stutter, finding yourself speechless, forgetting what to say (which tbh isn't bad at all, because girls prefer natural, raw, unplanned approaches from men)

Body language is everything as well. Don't stand there stick as a board. Smile, look at her in the eyes, gesture if you have too.

Should I ask her to dinner coffee? Or just take down her number if i get up tot he point of doing this.
!@#$%Vectors!@# is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2016, 11:34 PM   #17
Combat Wombat
Local High School Star
 
Combat Wombat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,120
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%Vectors!@#
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a very shy person. So shy that I curse it within my existence on a daily basis. Multiple times a day or in a week I get several opportunities to Interact with a girl. They're most times usually the one to initiate the conversation with me. Even If I find the girl attractive I just can't stay in the conversation and I inadvertent cut it short.

One of my best friend is a girl. Even though I find her attractive I don't get nervous nor do i get overcome with the usual shyness. It's probably because she has no filter and fits in with all my friends seamlessly.

So Theres This Girl I see in Campus. Usually in the school Grill. I find her attractive. I've backed down from talking to her because shes usually by her friends. But I made the resolve to talk to her the next time I see her regardless of whos she is with. So, today rolls around. After my first class I go to the library. When walking to my next class I see her walking to her class all alone. No phone in hand. No Friends. Just 2 feet away from me. I could have literally started a convo with her but I choked. I made eye contact a little before my long strides inevitably gaped her and she was out of sight.

How do I fkn approach her out of the blue without looking foolish and how do I keep myself calm about talking to her even though I don't know her. The female friend gave me some lines to use but I choked and couldn't even introduce myself.

Help Me Alphas and Ladies Men of ISH. This Young Student in the need of your aid.


I suggest that you subscribe to one of my favourite sayings:

He who hesitates later masterbates

Combat Wombat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2016, 11:40 PM   #18
oh the horror
NBA Legend
 
oh the horror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Torrance, CA
Posts: 15,417
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%Vectors!@#
Should I ask her to dinner coffee? Or just take down her number if i get up tot he point of doing this.



Coffee. You're still getting to know her.
oh the horror is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2016, 11:57 PM   #19
Draz
The People's Choice
 
Draz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Strong Men Island
Posts: 19,514
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%Vectors!@#
Should I ask her to dinner coffee? Or just take down her number if i get up tot he point of doing this.
Never say breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

You need to feel her out first before understanding how far to take it. Breakfast and dinner being the very most you go out of your way when she's earned it after you've actually formed a bond that's getting to the stage where you're both almost together, the unofficial stage.

Believe me, unofficial is amazing. No commitment, no worries, if you're doing a great job, you're that guy making her smile in public, she's got all your attention, you've got all of hers, etc.

Once you formed a "friendship" you initiate LUNCH or coffee. Once again, breakfast is as serious as dinner. I also like to think breakfast being more important, because the female has to wake up early, she has to get dressed appropriately (and understand a way a female dresses when you're taking her out, or when shes planned on seeing you/interacting with you WILL tell you if she likes you subliminally), she has to make time for you.

Dinner is more casual, the "I have nothing else to do after school/work" type of thing. Stay away from dinner until she's your girl or you've kissed/had sex.
Draz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2016, 11:57 PM   #20
!@#$%Vectors!@#
Nanimosuruna, Kizaru
 
!@#$%Vectors!@#'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Kizaru-Oops,you're Ben Beckman
Posts: 2,773
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by oh the horror
Coffee. You're still getting to know her.

Makes Sense.
!@#$%Vectors!@# is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2016, 11:58 PM   #21
BigNBAfan
Great college starter
 
BigNBAfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Eastern Coastal Beach
Posts: 3,531
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

If you are socially awkward short simple date first like others have suggested, coffee. If you can maintain a conversation with her find a longer date... pick her up from work and take her to lunch etc etc
BigNBAfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:04 AM   #22
Draz
The People's Choice
 
Draz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Strong Men Island
Posts: 19,514
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Also, if the girl isn't a talker and SHE'S socially not capable of upholding conversations, you BETTER feel her out before you take her out and that happens. You're prone to be into a position where you'd have to either bring that out or find yourself being unable to socialize with her.

That's your first warning. If this happens, your natural instincts should kick in and you should feel yourself out. Gain experience under your belt understanding how to bring it out of someone by BRINGING IT OUT OF YOU first.
Draz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:06 AM   #23
Smook A.
Red Nation
 
Smook A.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Harden's Beard
Posts: 13,820
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Confidence is key. Like Draz said, body language really matters.

#1: Eye Contact
- Very ****ing important. A HUGE emphasis on that. Now don't give her TOO MUCH eye contact. Look away for a few seconds at times, but don't do it often. If you're not giving her eye contact, you're gonna come off as awkward, and it'll be harder to talk to the girl. You wanna make sure your eyes are locked with hers. Btw, it's been proven that if you look into a girl's eyes, it'll increase the chance of them falling for you.

#2: Don't mumble your words
- You wanna sound confident, and your words should come out smooth. Relax, and take deep breaths if you want to. No girl wants to talk to a guy who stutters or sounds shy. It'll make them feel weird and they'll eventually get bored.

#3: Don't overthink
- Overthinking about what you're going to say will make you forget what to say next. Too many thoughts will be jumbled in your head. You'll be thinking and looking like a fool. It'll result in the conversation to break off. Let everything flow and listen to the girl. Girls absolutely love it when you pay attention to what they're saying. Also, try not to sound corny or someone you're not. Remember: Let the convo flow and don't force anything!

#4: Smile
- You don't wanna look dull. Smiling will light anyone's mood. The more you smile, the more the person you're talking to will smile. It's a fact. Oh and make sure your teeth are nice and clean. You don't wanna have jacked up teeth.

#5: Have a good sense of humor
Who doesn't like someone who's funny? When you make someone laugh, they'll like you more and they'll see you as someone who's exciting to be around. And don't be a bad type of funny. Don't ever make stupid jokes like 'yo mama'. And don't force the jokes. Once you find a good situation to say something humorous, say it. Once again, let it all flow.

Next time you see this girl, go up to her and say something simple. It could be anything like a simple hi, or "Hey, I've seen you around school and I had to come up and say hi. My name is _____, what's yours?". Look her in the eyes and smile. That'll make them feel comfortable. Don't overdo it, cause then you'll come off as a creep. Once she says hey back, ask her a question about herself. Girls love to talk about themselves, trust me. From then on the conversation will flow.

Also, if you feel shy, just put yourself in her shoes. You know damn well nobody wants to be approached by someone who can barely get their words out.

Good luck.
Smook A. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:08 AM   #24
!@#$%Vectors!@#
Nanimosuruna, Kizaru
 
!@#$%Vectors!@#'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Kizaru-Oops,you're Ben Beckman
Posts: 2,773
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draz
Never say breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

You need to feel her out first before understanding how far to take it. Breakfast and dinner being the very most you go out of your way when she's earned it after you've actually formed a bond that's getting to the stage where you're both almost together, the unofficial stage.

Believe me, unofficial is amazing. No commitment, no worries, if you're doing a great job, you're that guy making her smile in public, she's got all your attention, you've got all of hers, etc.

Once you formed a "friendship" you initiate LUNCH or coffee. Once again, breakfast is as serious as dinner. I also like to think breakfast being more important, because the female has to wake up early, she has to get dressed appropriately (and understand a way a female dresses when you're taking her out, or when shes planned on seeing you/interacting with you WILL tell you if she likes you subliminally), she has to make time for you.

Dinner is more casual, the "I have nothing else to do after school/work" type of thing. Stay away from dinner until she's your girl or you've kissed/had sex.


Should I like invite her toa date or should I like chat her up on the phone or online to get a feel of what she likes and stuff and be comfortable on what to say.

I have no filter when I'm around people I'm comfortable with so I don't really understand how far to take my Dark humor around girls.
!@#$%Vectors!@# is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:13 AM   #25
Smook A.
Red Nation
 
Smook A.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Harden's Beard
Posts: 13,820
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%Vectors!@#
Should I like invite her toa date or should I like chat her up on the phone or online to get a feel of what she likes and stuff and be comfortable on what to say.

I have no filter when I'm around people I'm comfortable with so I don't really understand how far to take my Dark humor around girls.
Definitely get to know her a little bit first before you ask her out. You wanna know what she likes/dislikes, what her main interests are, her hobbies, etc.
Smook A. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:13 AM   #26
!@#$%Vectors!@#
Nanimosuruna, Kizaru
 
!@#$%Vectors!@#'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Kizaru-Oops,you're Ben Beckman
Posts: 2,773
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by Smook A.
Confidence is key. Like Draz said, body language really matters.

#1: Eye Contact
- Very ****ing important. A HUGE emphasis on that. Now don't give her TOO MUCH eye contact. Look away for a few seconds at times, but don't do it often. If you're not giving her eye contact, you're gonna come off as awkward, and it'll be harder to talk to the girl. You wanna make sure your eyes are locked with hers. Btw, it's been proven that if you look into a girl's eyes, it'll increase the chance of them falling for you.

#2: Don't mumble your words
- You wanna sound confident, and your words should come out smooth. Relax, and take deep breaths if you want to. No girl wants to talk to a guy who stutters or sounds shy. It'll make them feel weird and they'll eventually get bored.

#3: Don't overthink
- Overthinking about what you're going to say will make you forget what to say next. Too many thoughts will be jumbled in your head. You'll be thinking and looking like a fool. It'll result in the conversation to break off. Let everything flow and listen to the girl. Girls absolutely love it when you pay attention to what they're saying. Also, try not to sound corny or someone you're not. Remember: Let the convo flow and don't force anything!

#4: Smile
- You don't wanna look dull. Smiling will light anyone's mood. The more you smile, the more the person you're talking to will smile. It's a fact. Oh and make sure your teeth are nice and clean. You don't wanna have jacked up teeth.

#5: Have a good sense of humor
Who doesn't like someone who's funny? When you make someone laugh, they'll like you more and they'll see you as someone who's exciting to be around. And don't be a bad type of funny. Don't ever make stupid jokes like 'yo mama'. And don't force the jokes. Once you find a good situation to say something humorous, say it. Once again, let it all flow.

Next time you see this girl, go up to her and say something simple. It could be anything like a simple hi, or "Hey, I've seen you around school and I had to come up and say hi. My name is _____, what's yours?". Look her in the eyes and smile. That'll make them feel comfortable. Don't overdo it, cause then you'll come off as a creep. Once she says hey back, ask her a question about herself. Girls love to talk about themselves, trust me. From then on the conversation will flow.

Also, if you feel shy, just put yourself in her shoes. You know damn well nobody wants to be approached by someone who can barely get their words out.

Good luck.


I'll make sure to smile. I'm always smiling around people I know but if I don't know someone I show like literally no emotion and I always have a Blank bored look on my face. I don't do it consciously. It's just I have like 2-3 emotional states. I'm either happy and smiling or im not.
!@#$%Vectors!@# is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:16 AM   #27
Draz
The People's Choice
 
Draz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Strong Men Island
Posts: 19,514
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%Vectors!@#
Should I like invite her toa date or should I like chat her up on the phone or online to get a feel of what she likes and stuff and be comfortable on what to say.

I have no filter when I'm around people I'm comfortable with so I don't really understand how far to take my Dark humor around girls.
No dark humor around girls, first and foremost. That's something you bring out when she's your girl as a way to adapt to your personality.

I'll tell you what I'D do if I had her number. If you're texting her, and she starts acting "dry" with her responses, chances are you'll get distracted, turned off, or find yourself drifting in the opposition.

So, I'd give her that call. Naturally, I speak differently with girls than I do with my guy friends. You're more in tune with her than you would be with other girls as well. I recall my tone of voice was always more sweet towards my ex. I'd let her feel me out over the phone, sweet talk her, then drop the ball.

I'd start off with the call: (pay attention to how long it takes for her to answer)
- she answers

Heyyy (extend) how's it going? Just wanted to see what you were up too, I had some free time (girls like when you call/talk to them on your free time
- she responds (pay attention to her tone, if she over-extends means she wants the duration of the conversation to last longer)

If she's free and available to talk:
- I just wanted to be honest to you, I honestly had this on my mind (again, flattery), and I had to get it off my chest because I'm a pretty straight person.

* continue without her making a remark to cut me off because that's awkward

You really distract me, in a good way, I'd really like to continue that
- she answers

That's a start. You just feel your way throughout her responses and how the conversation is going. There's no real way to plan anything out. It just pans out.
Draz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:17 AM   #28
!@#$%Vectors!@#
Nanimosuruna, Kizaru
 
!@#$%Vectors!@#'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Kizaru-Oops,you're Ben Beckman
Posts: 2,773
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draz
Also, if the girl isn't a talker and SHE'S socially not capable of upholding conversations, you BETTER feel her out before you take her out and that happens. You're prone to be into a position where you'd have to either bring that out or find yourself being unable to socialize with her.

That's your first warning. If this happens, your natural instincts should kick in and you should feel yourself out. Gain experience under your belt understanding how to bring it out of someone by BRINGING IT OUT OF YOU first.

I hope shes talkative.
!@#$%Vectors!@# is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:23 AM   #29
Draz
The People's Choice
 
Draz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Strong Men Island
Posts: 19,514
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

At the end of the day, back when I just got out of HS, I wasn't looking as good as I did now. I was decent, but not how I am now. I realized, what got me girls was how sweet I was. As I started maturing and aging, I got more conceited and it came with the character I built. I hooked girls through lust, not through their love for my personality. I started being less of a personality, and more of an appearance.

And now that I am single, I'm understanding I come off very bad to girls just the way I look, I look intimidating (so most girls tell me). Don't do this. Smile, when you're in public, don't have a sleep face. Someone's always looking at you, keep that in mind.

The only transaction you EVER need to make with a girl, is a simple conversation, it can be 2 seconds, hi, bye, you've made it. From there you carry on slowly.
Draz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2016, 12:32 AM   #30
!@#$%Vectors!@#
Nanimosuruna, Kizaru
 
!@#$%Vectors!@#'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Kizaru-Oops,you're Ben Beckman
Posts: 2,773
Default Re: Approaching A girl you've never talked to Before

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draz
At the end of the day, back when I just got out of HS, I wasn't looking as good as I did now. I was decent, but not how I am now. I realized, what got me girls was how sweet I was. As I started maturing and aging, I got more conceited and it came with the character I built. I hooked girls through lust, not through their love for my personality. I started being less of a personality, and more of an appearance.

And now that I am single, I'm understanding I come off very bad to girls just the way I look, I look intimidating (so most girls tell me). Don't do this. Smile, when you're in public, don't have a sleep face. Someone's always looking at you, keep that in mind.

The only transaction you EVER need to make with a girl, is a simple conversation, it can be 2 seconds, hi, bye, you've made it. From there you carry on slowly.


You keep dropping knowledge on me
!@#$%Vectors!@# is offline   Reply With Quote
This NBA Basketball News Website Sponsored by:
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:35 AM.




NBA BASKETBALL FORUM KEY LINKS:
InsideHoops Home
NBA Rumors
Basketball Blog
NBA Daily Recaps
NBA Videos
Fantasy Basketball
Search Site

FOLLOW US
Twitter
Facebook
















Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd. Terms of Use/Service | Privacy Policy