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Old 08-24-2007, 10:10 AM   #1
mlh1981
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Default relationship and "fundamental differences"

What does ISH think? Can a relationship happen/maintain if there are fundamental differences? For instance, I am kinda talking to this girl, and though I have enjoyed our conversation and such, we have some big differences. She is republican, I am democrat. She is religious, I am not. Overall, she seems very traditional compared to me, and somewhat old fashioned in her views. I mean, we get along great and can talk for hours, but can a relationship be formed/survive with differences such as these? Does anyone on ISH have an experience with this that work/failed?
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Old 08-24-2007, 10:25 AM   #2
apriorist
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Default Re: relationship and "fundamental differences"

Ever heard of James Carville and Mary Matalin?
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Old 08-24-2007, 10:40 AM   #3
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Default Re: relationship and "fundamental differences"

Depends on the character of you two, rather than the differences.

There are relationships where the two involved have lots in common and they can't stand each other.

There are relationships where the differences are part of the good things, as both complement each other.

In my case the differences worked really well, as we both were open to hear the other's opinion which was almost sure to be different, and were willing to hear. Things got pretty ugly during one time when we just said "well, we're different" and didn't really take into account the other's opinion, but went back to normal. In the end we broke up, but for completely different reasons.
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Old 08-24-2007, 10:43 AM   #4
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Default Re: relationship and "fundamental differences"

Quote:
Originally Posted by apriorist
Ever heard of James Carville and Mary Matalin?

Haha..........yeah. Didn't think of them
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Old 08-24-2007, 11:13 AM   #5
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Default Re: relationship and "fundamental differences"

IMO, short term, yes. Long term, no. You can talk for hours now because its still young and you want to know everything about each other and more likely to talk about things you really aren't terribly interested in.

Although it depends how adamant each are about those subjects that you have differences in. A staunch republican will probably not coexist with a staunch democrat. If one doesn't care a whole lot then it will work a little better.
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Old 08-24-2007, 12:58 PM   #6
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Default Re: relationship and "fundamental differences"

Every couple is going to have differences of opinion on one thing or another, and disagreements are inevitable when you put to people together. Conflict is part of life. What makes or breaks a relationship your approach to the conflict.

Like finances, some say finances are the #1 factor in breakups/divorces, when it's really lack of communication about each other's perspective on finances. There are couple who broke up when they had nothing, and others broke and they had millions in the bank. Conversely, you have people who came to or were born into this country dirt poor, but still together. Same with people with money. It's all about how you respond to things.

Last edited by Sean77 : 08-24-2007 at 01:04 PM.
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Old 08-24-2007, 02:13 PM   #7
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Default Re: relationship and "fundamental differences"

Imo, big time religious differnences could negativily affect a relationship. Maybe not now, but as you get more serious...and if you start thinking about marriages.
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Old 08-24-2007, 02:33 PM   #8
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Default Re: relationship and "fundamental differences"

Quote:
Originally Posted by mlh1981
What does ISH think? Can a relationship happen/maintain if there are fundamental differences? For instance, I am kinda talking to this girl, and though I have enjoyed our conversation and such, we have some big differences. She is republican, I am democrat. She is religious, I am not. Overall, she seems very traditional compared to me, and somewhat old fashioned in her views. I mean, we get along great and can talk for hours, but can a relationship be formed/survive with differences such as these? Does anyone on ISH have an experience with this that work/failed?

As long as the sex is good... any relationship can survive.
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Old 08-24-2007, 02:47 PM   #9
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Default Re: relationship and "fundamental differences"

I could casually date a girl who was religious but I could never marry one. The differences are just too great, from the actual marriage all the way to raising and teaching children.
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