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Old 09-16-2007, 12:56 AM   #1
i seen hippos
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Exclamation Serious College Rant.

This is in support of Geewiz' chapter book length rants.

I hate professors who try to act like Kevin Klein in the Emperor's Club with all that tradition bull****.

My prof for one of my classes made us sit outside on damp grass for 2 hours because it was a tradition of his...all I got out of it was the permanent memory of a fat student mooning everyone behind him (I mean literally mooning. His shorts were below his ass cheeks) There were a few hot girls beside me vomitting in their mouths....oh and we got raped by a single wasp the entire time and I could see the prof looking right at us while we were swatting it away, but he pretended it didn't exist probably because he couldn't come to terms with something ruining his perfect tradition.

Better yet, the kid right next to me actually stomped the wasp while in the cross legged position (which is amazing when you think about it) and proceeded to continuously squish it with his glasses.....I mean this is a class of 3rd and 4th year university students and this kid is actually doing this.

We also had a kid who stutters, which pisses me off because how can you not laugh at a kid who starts every comment with "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I Th-Th-Thhhhhhhh.......Thhhhhh......Th-Th-Thhhhhhink"

Better yet, the reading for this class was about 150 pages and anyone who chooses to read that much for one class is obviously socially retarded like Geewiz. So him randomly pointing at people and saying "You!....summarize the next reading" intimidated me like hell. Luckily I only made comments when conversations were already in full swing and I could BS my way through it.

Did I mention my ass got infected from sitting for so long? I felt like Christopher Reeves.

Then you get the fools who take every comment questioning their theories as a personal insult. I actually enjoy this cause one thing Hippos does love is a confrontation. Motha****er whipping out Marx? I'll superstructure your ass back to the industrial revolution. ****.

There is some comedy however. My beloved teacher (I actually do like him) literally drools while he talks. A nice build up of foam on the side of his mouth brightens up any mood as long as you don't get spit on.

Then at the end of class he hands out a photocopied letter for us to read for next week's class, which looks more like a sysmograph reading than any sort of legible hand writing.

He even went on about how he wants this class to reach the level and tradition of the Princetons and so on. If he feels we're ready, he wants to take a bus down and debate Princeton's finest......but does Hippos want to step two feet into NJ?.....that depends on how freaky Princeton girls are.

The book store didn't print enough copies of the book that has all of the articles in it so as a kind gesture to those students, my prof designated 1 hour out of their free time to have an intimate class on the material discussed already for 2 hours......You could tell those 5 students loved the prospects of spending some alone time with that psychopath.

Anyways, my prof is from Cali so I don't hold any of this against him. They're weird by nature so it's only right that the whole day was ****ed.
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:50 AM   #2
White Chocolate
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Default Re: Serious College Rant.

Quote:
My prof for one of my classes made us sit outside on damp grass for 2 hours because it was a tradition of his...all I got out of it was the permanent memory of a fat student mooning everyone behind him (I mean literally mooning. His shorts were below his ass cheeks) There were a few hot girls beside me vomitting in their mouths....oh and we got raped by a single wasp the entire time and I could see the prof looking right at us while we were swatting it away, but he pretended it didn't exist probably because he couldn't come to terms with something ruining his perfect tradition.


You all should have stood the entire time. Start a tradition of your own.


Quote:
Better yet, the kid right next to me actually stomped the wasp while in the cross legged position (which is amazing when you think about it) and proceeded to continuously squish it with his glasses.....I mean this is a class of 3rd and 4th year university students and this kid is actually doing this.


Nice. :


Quote:
We also had a kid who stutters, which pisses me off because how can you not laugh at a kid who starts every comment with "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I Th-Th-Thhhhhhhh.......Thhhhhh......Th-Th-Thhhhhhink"


Buh-Buh Ray Dudley?


Quote:
Better yet, the reading for this class was about 150 pages and anyone who chooses to read that much for one class is obviously socially retarded like Geewiz. So him randomly pointing at people and saying "You!....summarize the next reading" intimidated me like hell. Luckily I only made comments when conversations were already in full swing and I could BS my way through it.


That's why participating is always important. That way, the professor will focus on the quiet ones.


Quote:
Did I mention my ass got infected from sitting for so long? I felt like Christopher Reeves.


At least the paralysis is temporary.


Quote:
There is some comedy however. My beloved teacher (I actually do like him) literally drools while he talks. A nice build up of foam on the side of his mouth brightens up any mood as long as you don't get spit on.


Participation is important now. Sounds like you're getting drooled on if you don't.


Quote:
Anyways, my prof is from Cali so I don't hold any of this against him. They're weird by nature so it's only right that the whole day was ****ed.


Is this guy related to Bill Walton?
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Old 09-16-2007, 02:39 AM   #3
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Default Re: Serious College Rant.

where do you go to school? Reed? that's ****ing wild.

if some creative writing teacher tries to make me stand on top of my desk I'm walking out..... the one I have now is straight loopy but I like her. she brings elephant bells and snake skins into class and wears like 18 different necklaces per class.
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Old 09-16-2007, 09:15 AM   #4
kwajo
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Default Re: Serious College Rant.

Everyone should go to Reed, it f-ing kicks ass. I still can't believe I didn't end up going there after they offered me a full scholarship. Meh, oh well.

Last edited by kwajo : 09-16-2007 at 09:17 AM.
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Old 09-16-2007, 02:18 PM   #5
geeWiz15
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Default Re: Serious College Rant.

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Everyone should go to Reed, it f-ing kicks ass. I still can't believe I didn't end up going there after they offered me a full scholarship. Meh, oh well.
I'm actually considering it as a transfer destination which is why it occurred to me to use it on the "they're all hippie weedheads" stereotype sense. what's your story kwajo? why turn it down, and how do you get a free ride to the school with the best undergraduate experience in the nation according to princeton review?
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Old 09-16-2007, 02:36 PM   #6
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Default Re: Serious College Rant.

You are complaining because your prof took you outside, and you were confronted by *gasp* nature?

Wow. Shallow.
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Old 09-16-2007, 02:52 PM   #7
kwajo
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Default Re: Serious College Rant.

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Originally Posted by geeWiz15
I'm actually considering it as a transfer destination which is why it occurred to me to use it on the "they're all hippie weedheads" stereotype sense. what's your story kwajo? why turn it down, and how do you get a free ride to the school with the best undergraduate experience in the nation according to princeton review?
I ended up getting a similar offer from the University of King's College, which has a similar sort of reputation in Liberal Arts circles as Reed does, only in Halifax, Canada. It was a tough decision, but King's was closer to home, I had a lot of friends going to other universities in Halifax, and I was somewhat concerned about travel into the USA after 9/11, so I was swayed by that. I was young, and so while it might not have been the absolute best choice, I ended up having a phenomenal time and the education I got there was the best I've ever had, so it worked out fine.

As a funny aside, the offer from Reed was rather interesting, as they sent me a big package with my acceptance and I opened it up and all this confetti flew out all over my living room. There was practically more confetti in the package than there was paper. It just added to the excitement of the moment, because Reed had been my top choice in the USA, and neither Duke or St. John's College had bothered to put confetti in their letters (or offer me as much money).
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Old 09-16-2007, 03:15 PM   #8
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Default Re: Serious College Rant.

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As a funny aside, the offer from Reed was rather interesting, as they sent me a big package with my acceptance and I opened it up and all this confetti flew out all over my living room. There was practically more confetti in the package than there was paper.
wow that's classic.
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