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Old 12-08-2007, 11:43 AM   #1
mlh1981
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Default Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

Do you guys think that it's possible to stay friends with an ex? Until last night, I had never attempted to do so. Me and the girl I was dating broke up on Tuesday. She claimed that she was too "emotionally damaged" from a prior relationship and needed time to address her "issues" before stepping back into the dating world. She said that none of this had anything to do with me, that I was a nice guy, blah, bla, etc....... (another story for another thread maybe)

Anyway, we hadn't talked much since then. I was pretty upset about the whole thing. She said that she wanted to remain friends, but I kinda rolled my eyes internally, because EVERYONE says that. Well last night, she called me up and asked if I wanted to hang out. We went out and got a few drinks, and I swear, the whole time, I felt like I was being punched in the face. It was NOT a good time. She was perfectly nice and everything, but to pretend as if nothing ever happened between us, and to completely scale back from the whole relationship thing to just being friends? Too much for me to handle. The whole night, for me personally, was a complete disaster. She invited me to see a band tonight (whom she is a manager for on the side), and was going into great detail describing the "cute outfit" that she was gonna wear. Some girl in the bar was wearing these absolutely tacky boots and I pointed them out. She reinterated her love of heels/leather boots, as opposed to the pomeranian dogs it looked like this other chic had on her feet. I have a heels/leather boot fetish (not for me personally *lol*), and she knew this, so why did she keep bringing it up, since we were now "friends?"

Finally, I wake up this morning, check out my myspace, and see she posted a "sex survey." She knew I would probably notice that

Anyway, enough about that...........has anyone on ISH attempted to maintain a friendship with an ex and, if so, did it work?
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

Unless you're Seinfeld, then chances are it will not happen.
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:49 AM   #3
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

She sounds like a confused tease. Anyway, I've been somewhat succesful, but not with anything that frequent or close. I can hang out as friends when we're in town for the holidays and such.
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:55 AM   #4
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

I tell ya man, its hard. When my ex girl and I broke up, I was hoping to at least talk to her sometimes, but she doesn't seem to want anything to do with me.
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:58 AM   #5
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

Now that she is your ex...post a pic.
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:58 AM   #6
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

possible, yes.

easy, or probable? not really.
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Old 12-08-2007, 11:59 AM   #7
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawker
Now that she is your ex...post a pic.

oh, how could I forget? "Pic or it didn't happen!"

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Old 12-08-2007, 12:10 PM   #8
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

It's possible, but it usually depends on a what the relationship was prior to dating or that you two weren't too serious to begin with. Although what you described it's either not enough time since you broke up or it's not going to happen at all (my vote is for the latter).
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Old 12-08-2007, 12:13 PM   #9
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

It depends on how serious you got with her. I have three good girl friends of mine that I used to date but we never got really serious.
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Old 12-08-2007, 12:17 PM   #10
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timmeh
It depends on how serious you got with her. I have three good girl friends of mine that I used to date but we never got really serious.

We probably hung out for a few weeks or so before we decided to start dating. Technically, the "relationship" only lasted a few weeks, but we would have really long conversations and such and it truly felt like to me that something good was happening. I wasn't dating other girls on the side or anything like that, so it was pretty serious.
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Old 12-08-2007, 12:29 PM   #11
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

its possible yes... but not gonna happen..lol.. my gf broke up wid me... .. and always wants to talk to me... but it just feels weird to talk back 2 har
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Old 12-08-2007, 12:37 PM   #12
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

It's not gonna happen, unless in the back of your mind, you want to bang her again later.

It's just not practical. Most guys don't operate that way. Even if its an ugly breakup, you can usually forgive the person even if its years later, but you don't usually have a desire to talk to them unless its to renew the relationship.

Even if it isn't a bad breakup... like one example, I broke up with a girl just because I didn't really have feelings for her. The whole relationship had turned into just sex at one point, and believe it or not, after a while that wasn't enough. I broke up with her. I never had any bad feelings for her, but it was just too weird when she just wanted to keep talking to me. It was like, if I acknowledge that I don't have feelings with you, but you still want to hang out with me... does that mean we can just be sex buddies? How exactly does that work? I'd probably still be pissed if she slept around.

Guys just aren't wired that way.

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Old 12-08-2007, 01:18 PM   #13
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timmeh
It depends on how serious you got with her. I have three good girl friends of mine that I used to date but we never got really serious.

Bingo. Honestly if you were REALLY in love with the person I don't think its likely to stay friends with them on a consitent basis because it's just too hard. To see them every day and know they're not yours anymore, to hold a conversation without "baby/i love you" etc, and ultimately to see them with a new boyfriend/girlfriend just makes it too hard to have a normal friendship. Me and my ex broke up on good terms and we honestly tried to keep in touch but it just got too hard to talk without even crying.
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Old 12-08-2007, 01:27 PM   #14
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

Not for me. My first girlfriend in like 4th grade, I still talk to her, and my other one in 4th grade, too. There's one that I went out with for a while in 6th but didn't like her that much, but we're cool. There's another that's in MS right now and I'm a Freshman in H.S. so we never see each other, one I went out with in the summer, we're cool, and there's another that I totally hate.

Her name's Amanda, and she's about 4'nothing. She's kinda Swedish and she looks like she has some terrible smell under her nose all the time, and she goes through mood swings like crazy. Well, she is a bit crazy. I gave her a freakin' dinosaur sticker in kindergarten and she still has it on her god damn dresser. She wears heavy eyeshadow right now and she's so dramatic it's sickening. I have no intention of ever being friends with her.

Last edited by marny_navis : 12-08-2007 at 01:29 PM.
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Old 12-08-2007, 01:31 PM   #15
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Default Re: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by B-Low
Bingo. Honestly if you were REALLY in love with the person I don't think its likely to stay friends with them on a consitent basis because it's just too hard. To see them every day and know they're not yours anymore, to hold a conversation without "baby/i love you" etc, and ultimately to see them with a new boyfriend/girlfriend just makes it too hard to have a normal friendship. Me and my ex broke up on good terms and we honestly tried to keep in touch but it just got too hard to talk without even crying.

Man, B-Low, you're deep lol.
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