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Old 03-03-2008, 03:36 AM   #1
LakerDynasty00
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Default Just for laughs (hopefully)...

I've created this with the help of the DSM-IV for my fellow Laker fans here on ISH so that you will recognize when you are being confronted with a pathological Kobe Hater on the boards. This should allow you to waste less time talking to them and more time feeling bad for them (possibly even suggest that they see a mental health professional). Enjoy and post carefully.

Major Kobe Hating Disorder
Diagnosis Criteria:

A. Hating on Kobe for most of the day, for more days than not, as indicated either by subjective account or observation by others, for at least 2 years. Note: In children and adolescents, Kobe hating can be irritable and duration must be at least 1 year.

B. Presence, while Kobe hating, of two (or more) of the following:
1. poor appetite or overeating
2. insomnia or hypersomnia
3. low energy or fatigue
4. low self-esteem
5. poor concentration or difficulty making decisions
6. feelings of hopelessness
7. spending 5+ hours per day on ISH posting about Kobe Bryant
8. watching all Laker games just so you can talk crap about Kobe Bryant
9. obsessively mentioning how much better MJ was whenever Kobe gets credit
10. loss of all interest in basketball when Kobe's not involved

C. During the 2-year period (1 year for children or adolescents) of the disturbance, the person has never been without the symptoms in Criteria A and B for more than 2 months at a time.

D. No Major Kobe Hating Episode (see Criteria for Major Depressive Episode) has been present during the first 2 years of the disturbance (1 year for children and adolescents); i.e., the disturbance is not better accounted for by chronic Kobe Hating Disorder, or Major Kobe Hating Disorder, In Partial Remission.

E. There has never been a Kobe Hating Manic Episode (see Criteria for Manic Episode), a Kobe Hating Mixed Episode (see Criteria for Mixed Episode), or a Kobe Hating Hypomanic Episode (see Criteria for Hypomanic Episode), and criteria have never been met for Laker Hating Disorder. Symptoms of these Episodes can include: feeling so happy during/after a Kobe Hating Event you become convinced you are invincible, are much more successful than you really are, and have general feelings of grandiosity; all which might lead to poor decision making with money and relationships. Kobe Hating Manic Episodes also tend to give Haters feelings of intense euphoria and no desire for sleep.

F. The disturbance does not occur exclusively during the course of a chronic Kobe Hating Psychotic Disorder, such as Kobephrenia or Kobe Hating Delusional Disorder. These disorders are likely to include symptoms such as: having nightmares about Kobe scoring game-winning shots against your favorite team, seeing Kobe's face in random inanimate objects, and hearing a voice that sounds like Kobe telling you to kill yourself.

G. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., Kobethyroidism).

H. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Last edited by LakerDynasty00 : 03-03-2008 at 03:42 AM.
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Old 03-03-2008, 07:03 AM   #2
Frank Foley
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Default Re: Just for laughs (hopefully)...

That's a hell of a post. I take it you have a psych background?
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:44 AM   #3
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Default Re: Just for laughs (hopefully)...


Is there a treatment and/or cure?
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:05 AM   #4
SoCalMike
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Default Re: Just for laughs (hopefully)...

Oh wow! LOL Dr. LD00!



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Old 03-03-2008, 11:03 AM   #5
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Default Re: Just for laughs (hopefully)...

The weird thing is that there are actually some socalled LAKER FANS who suffer from this disease. That is something I can't even fathom because I root for the Lakers NO MATTER WHO IS PLAYING. That game yesterday was CLASSIC KOBE. The role players missed every shot in site yesterday so Kobe had to take over. That is what he brings to the team anytime the rest of the team falters. He can carry them if he has to. Fortunately he doesn't have to as much these days. How could anyone doubt that Kobe is one of the two or three best players in the league right now?
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Old 03-03-2008, 04:17 PM   #6
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Default Re: Just for laughs (hopefully)...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank Foley
That's a hell of a post. I take it you have a psych background?
Hehe, yeah. I'm in a clinical psychology Ph.D. program. But don't give me too much credit, most of that was cut-and-pasted from the online Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. I just changed "depressed" to "Kobe Hating." Then I added a few little things of my own. Funny how a real disorder can sound so similar to a person who is really obsessed with hating Kobe.

Treatment/cures? I'll have to get back to you all on that one...It may be incurable.



That was classic Kobe last night. He won us the game and even when he was dominating late it didn't feel like he was "forcing it." He just did what he had to and when he was doubled he gave the ball up most of the time. If Sasha or a couple of the other guys made a few more open shots it wouldn't have been as close of a game as it ended up being.
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:27 PM   #8
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Default Re: Just for laughs (hopefully)...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakerDynasty00
Hehe, yeah. I'm in a clinical psychology Ph.D. program. But don't give me too much credit, most of that was cut-and-pasted from the online Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. I just changed "depressed" to "Kobe Hating." Then I added a few little things of my own. Funny how a real disorder can sound so similar to a person who is really obsessed with hating Kobe.

Treatment/cures? I'll have to get back to you all on that one...It may be incurable.



That was classic Kobe last night. He won us the game and even when he was dominating late it didn't feel like he was "forcing it." He just did what he had to and when he was doubled he gave the ball up most of the time. If Sasha or a couple of the other guys made a few more open shots it wouldn't have been as close of a game as it ended up being.

I was gonna ask how you knew what a DSM was!!! I am sure most here do not! lol



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