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Old 08-31-2006, 06:20 PM   #1
kwajo
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Default OT: Kwaj's Gourmet De-Lux

bite me ced, this is the place for food on ISH:

kwaj's recipe of the day:


Fruit Loop and Mayonnaise Sandwiches


Ingredients:

2 - slices of bread, preferably the cheapest, most un-enriched, whitest you can find
1 - jar of mayo
1/2 cup - fruit loops
1 - large knife
3 - balls (the extra is recommended for this dish, but not a requirement, so you can get by with only 2)


Directions:

-Remove Bread from its plastic sleeve or bag, lay out on a cutting board of either plastic or wood (not metal)
- Handling the knife carefully, and having previously removed the cover form the jar of mayonnaise, begin to spread the white tangy goo on both slices of bread. Be careful to only spread on one side of the bread, unless your hands require the extra lubrication while you are eating.
- Once the mayonnaise quotient is to your liking, grab your Fruit Loops and sprinkle them using your thumb and index finger over the mayonnaise covered side of the slices of bread.
- After this point it is time to assemble both sides of the bread into its final sandwich form. To avoid accidents it is recommended that you have already removed the knife from your grasp, for if you do not, the flipping required in this step will result in a nasty gouge and a painful trip to the emergency room.
- Using your elbow for leverage, obtain a firm grip on one slice of the bread. Keep the slice at a parallel angle to the floor on which you stand while raising it above the counter or table. Now repeat the same process with the other slice of bread. Try to use your palms as rest places for the up-right slices of bread, and with the utmost of haste, quickly clap your hands together, forcing the two slices to fuse directly in front of your chest. At this point you might receive a slight about of mayonnaise splatter, but this would depend on your earlier preparations.
- Gently lower the fused sandwich to the plate below.
- You are now ready to enjoy your Fruit Loop and Mayonnaise Sandwich. Take the time to enjoy the delicate mix of flavours and textures, and don't forget to chew 42 times before you swallow each bite, otherwise the ghosts of Captain Billy Pitt will haunt your next ferry trip.
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:21 PM   #2
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i'll repeat. were do the balls go?

how can you fit a whole jar of mayonaisse in a sandwich?
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:24 PM   #3
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WOW there are some horrible cooks on this board.
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:24 PM   #4
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DISCLAIMER:

The amount of mayonnaise used within this recipe is not required to be the entire jar of mayonnaise, and the ratio of mayo to bread should not exceed 2:1, unless the mayonnaise is thickened using corn starch or icing sugar.
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:24 PM   #5
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Sounds good, can I use "Ced's Mayo substitute"?
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:25 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by i seen hippos
i'll repeat. were do the balls go?
i'm not helping you with this one, you should know already
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:25 PM   #7
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You're gonna get fat again, Kwaj!

And something I always wanted to ask but never had an approriate place to ask (i guess this is as good as any) Do you still exercise like you used to? Or not at all?
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:25 PM   #8
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Quote:
i'll repeat. were do the balls go?

you dont put the balls in the sandwich. hes saying you need balls to make this sandwich and actually eat it.
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:25 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kwajo
DISCLAIMER:

The amount of mayonnaise used within this recipe is not required to be the entire jar of mayonnaise, and the ratio of mayo to bread should not exceed 2:1, unless the mayonnaise is thickened using corn starch or icing sugar.

You got me alright, I had a bubble of snot come out my nose after reading that line.
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:27 PM   #10
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TMacsOneGoodEye
You're gonna get fat again, Kwaj!

And something I always wanted to ask but never had an approriate place to ask (i guess this is as good as any) Do you still exercise like you used to? Or not at all?
no I do quite a bit still, not to the extreme I used to, unless I'm training for something, but I still do running or weight work everyday of the week, or at least 6 days out of 7 at the worst.

and I won't get fat, I don't actually eat this crap
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:28 PM   #11
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Quote:
you dont put the balls in the sandwich. hes saying you need balls to make this sandwich and actually eat it.

he said use 2 or 3 balls....i assumed they went into the sandwich.
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:28 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SsKSpurs21
you dont put the balls in the sandwich. hes saying you need balls to make this sandwich and actually eat it.


bingo.
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:31 PM   #13
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next should be the tango shake. All you need is mustard and vanilla ice cream and a blender
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:36 PM   #14
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Default .

Quote:
he said use 2 or 3 balls....i assumed they went into the sandwich.

he said you need EXTRA balls to make and eat this sandwich, but its not required so you can get by with two.

i guess your tricky word play worked kwaj
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Old 08-31-2006, 06:36 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skywalker
next should be the tango shake. All you need is mustard and vanilla ice cream and a blender

That sounds good.

I've always wanted to blend Oreos and Chili sauce to see what it tastes like, but I think you have far surpassed my primal food fantasies.
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