"Deeper Meaning of Liff" - A dictionary of words that don't exist (but should)

[Manute for Ever!]

The "Deeper Meaning of Liff" is a dictionary of words that don't exist, but should. Plenty of words are wasted hanging on streetsigns and maps, yet we have nouns, verbs and adjectives with no official word. Let's put them together.

A

AALST (n) One who changes his name in order to be nearer the front.


AASLEAGH (n) A liqeur made only for drinking at the end of a revoltingly
long bottle party when all the drinkable drink has been drunk.


ABALEMMA (n) The agonizing situation in which there is only one possible
decision, but you still can

[Manute for Ever!]

B

BABWORTH (n) Something which justifies having a really good cry.


BADACHONACHER (n) An on-off relationship which never gets resolved.


BADGEBUP (n) The splotch on a child

[Manute for Ever!]

C

CAARNDUNCAN (n) The high-pitched and insistent cry of the young female
human urging one of its peer group to do something
dangerous on a cliff-edge or piece of toxic waste ground.


CADOMIN (n) The ingredient in coffee creamer that rises to the surface as scum.


CAFU (n) The frustration of not being able to remember what an acronym
stands for.


CAHORS (pl. n) The rushes of emotion triggered by overheard snatches of an old song.


CAIRO (n) The noise of a spinning hubcap coming to rest.


CAIRNPAT (n) A large piece of dried dung found in mountainous terrain
above the cowline which leads the experienced tracker to
believe that hikers have recently passed.


CALICUT (adj) Determined not to let someone see how much his
inadvertent remark has hurt you.


CAMER (n) A mis-tossed caber.


CANNOCK CHASE (n) In any box of After Eight Mints, there is always a large
number of empty envelopes and no more that four or five
actual mints. The cannock chase is the process by which, no
matter which part of the box often, you will always extract
most of the empty sachets before pinning down an actual
mint, or

[Manute for Ever!]

D

DAGRON (v) -GT- To hit the button on an elevator or vending machine several
times rapidly in the belief that it will somehow help it move faster.


DALDERBY (n) A letter to the editor made meaningless because it refers to
a previous letter he didn

[Manute for Ever!]

E

EADS (pl. n) The sludgy bits in the bottom of a trash can, underneath the actual trash can liner.


EAKRING (ptcpl. v) Wondering what to do next when you

[Manute for Ever!]

F

FAIRYMOUNT (vb, n) Polite word for buggery.


FALSTER (n) A long-winded, dishonest and completely incredible
excuse used when the truth would have been perfectly acceptable.


FAMAGUSTA (n) The draft that whistles between two bottoms that refuse to touch.


FARDUCKMANTON (n, archaic) An ancient edict, mysteriously omitted from the Doomsday
Book, requiring that the feeding of fowl on village ponds
should be carried out equitably.


FARNHAM (n) The feeling you get about four o

[Manute for Ever!]

G

GAFFNEY (n) Someone who deliberately misunderstands things
for, he hopes, humorous effect.


GALASHIELS (pl. n) A form of particularly long sparse sideburns which are part
of the mandatory uniform of British Rail guards.


GALLIPOLI (adj) Of the behaviour of a bottom lip trying to spit mouthwash
after an injection at the dentist. Hence, loose, floppy, useless.

[Manute for Ever!]

H

HADWEENZIC (adj) Resistant to tweezers.


HADZOR (n) A sharp instrument placed in the washing-up bowl which
makes it easier to cut yourself.\


HAGNABY (n) Someone who looked a lot more attractive in the disco than
they do in your bed the next morning.


HALCRO (n) An adhesive fibrous cloth used to hold babies

[Manute for Ever!]

I

IBLE (adj) Clever but lazy.


IBSTOCK (n) Anything used to make a noise on a corrugated iron wall or
clinker-built fence by dragging it along the surface while
walking past it.

[Manute for Ever!]

L

LACKAWANNA (n) The inability of a New York cab driver to know
where, for instance, Central Park is.


LAMBARENE (adj) Feeling better for having put pajamas on.


LAMLASH (n) The folder on hotel dressing-tables full of astoundingly
dull information.


LAMPETER (n) The fifth member of a foursome.


LAMPUNG (n) The daze which follows turning on the light in the middle of the night.


LANCREIGH (n) -AU- A mood of irrational happiness with everyone and everything.


LARGOWARD (n) Motorists

[Manute for Ever!]

M

MAARUIG (n) The inexpressible horror experienced on walking up in the
morning and remembering that you are still Scotty in Star Trek.
Pronounced loudly, as if in pain.


MACROY (n) An authoritative, confident opinion based on one you read in a newspaper.


MALAYBALAY (adj) All excited at suddenly remembering a wonderful piece
of gossip that you want to pass on to somebody.


MALIBU (n) The height by which the top of a wave exceeds the height
to which you have rolled up your trousers.


MANITOBA (n) A recourtship ritual. The tentative and reluctant touching
of spouses

[Manute for Ever!]

N

NAAS (n) The windmaking region of Albania where most of the wine
that people take to bottle-parties comes from.


NACTON (n) The

[Manute for Ever!]

P

PABBAY (n, vb) (Fencing term.) The play, or maneuver, where one
swordsman leaps on to the table and pulls the battle-ax off the wall.


PANTER (v) -TK- To attempt to psych out one

[Manute for Ever!]

Q

QUABBS (pl. n) The substances which emerge when you squeeze a blackhead.


QUALL (v) To speak with the voice of one who requires another to do
something for them.


QUEDGELEY (n) A rabidly left-wing politician who can afford to be that
way because he married a millionairess.


QUEENZIEBURN (n) Something that happens when people make it up after an
agglethorpe (q.v.)


QUENBY (n) A stubborn spot on a window which you spend twenty
minutes trying to clean off before discovering it

[Manute for Ever!]

S

SADBERGE (n) A violent green shrub which is ground up, mixed with twigs
and gelatin and served with clonmult (q.v.) and buldoo
(q.v.) in a container referred to for no known reason as a

[Manute for Ever!]

S (cont...)

SPITTAL OF GLENSHEE (n) That which has to be cleaned off castle floors in the
morning after a bagpipe contest or vampire attack.


SPOFFARD (n) A congressman whose contribution to politics is limited
to saying "Hear, hear."


SPOFFORTH (v) To tidy up a room before the cleaning lady arrives.


SPOKANE (v) To remove precious object from a room before a party.


SPREAKLEY (adj) Irritatingly cheerful in the morning.


SPROSTON GREEN (n) The violent colour of one of Nigel Rees

[Manute for Ever!]

T

TABLEY SUPERIOR (n) The look directed at you in a theatre bar in the interval
by people who

[Manute for Ever!]

U

UDINE (adj) Not susceptible to charm.


UGGLEBARNY (n) The ponytail affected by a middle-aged balding man.


ULLAPOOL (n) The spittle which builds up on the floor of the Royal
Opera House.


ULLINGSWICK (n) An over-developed epiglottis found in middle-aged
coloraturas.


ULLOCK (n) The correct name for either of the deaf Scandinavian
tourists who are standing two abreast in front of you on the escalator.


ULTING (ptcpl. v) Yawning to unpop the ears.


UMBERLEIGH (n) The awful moment which follows a dorchester (q.v.) when a
speaker weighs up whether to repeat an amusing remark after
nobody laughed the last time. To be on the horns of an
umberleigh is to wonder whether people didn

[Manute for Ever!]

Y

YADDLETHORPE (v) (Of offended pooves.) To exit huffily from a boutique.


YALARDY (n) An illness which you know you