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Old 05-05-2007, 09:24 PM   #1
Heilige
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Default John Cena: A history and why I hate him

I’m one of the biggest sane ****** of John Cena. I think he’s quite good in the ring (which I’ll touch up on later), but I absolutely cannot stand how he’s been booked in the past and how he’s currently being booked, along with a number of other things.

So, without further ado…

Cena: Genesis

When Cena first debuted in June of 2002, he went toe to toe with Angle in a hell of a good, competitive match and lost. Did you really think he was going to win? No. For a rookie, you really had to think “wow, this kid really has something special” and that he’d be huge one day. He had a good look (which needed a bit of work), good charisma and surprisingly good ring skills considering his status on the card.

He was involved with some tag-teaming here and there, but his career really didn’t kick off until he began his rapping gimmick in October of 2002. He was fresh, funny and still very solid in the ring.

Cena: Thrust

In April of 2003, not even one year after his debut, he won a tournament to face Brock Lesnar for the title on PPV. He went over Eddie Guerrero, Undertaker and Chris Benoit to win the tournament, and then beat Rhyno next for good measure. Look at those first three names, though. Guerrero. Undertaker. Benoit. On top of that, he the main-evented Backlash facing Brock Lesnar. This is in his first year.

Speaking of Brock Lesnar, yeah, I’m sure plenty of people will say “well, look at Brock’s first year…”—yeah, he was also pushed really hard and debatably way too hard. However, with his amateur wrestling background, his gigantic stature and his undeniable presence in and out of the ring, he was truly something remarkable. You can build a John Cena, but you have to find a Brock Lesnar.

Back to Cena. He later pinned Rey Mysterio and pinned Big Show in a tag team match. At Survivor Series, Cena and Benoit were the sole survivors of the winning team. John Cena beat Big Show once more in a non-title match, and then beat him again at Wrestlemania XX for the United States title. His popularity was soaring and WWE was forced to do something more with him. While the Hardcore title had a few variations, the only credible title that was customized was the WWE championship when Steve Austin held it. Well, John Cena got his very own custom United States spinner belt.

Cena was stabbed at a night club after Smackdown on a very unfortunate night in October of 2004. Err.. no. He was filming his own movie, The Marine. Yes, about two and a half years after he debuted he was already starring in a movie produced by WWE. Following that, he would go on to defeat Orlando Jordan, Booker T and Kurt Angle on his way to challenging JBL for the WWE title, which he won.

Cena: Titan

JBL won the title via fluke in a match against Eddie Guerrero, and was never treated as a credible champion. He was champion for a very long time and I don’t recall him getting a single clean win. He always won by cheating or fluke. It’s great heel stuff, but he held onto the title for too long—after a certain point, it doesn’t become “holy ****! ____ won!”.. it becomes “well about ****ing time….”. Cena won the title, and it was very underwhelming. The match was short, not very good, and everything was just meh. He didn’t come out looking like a champion. He came out looking like some guy that got lucky, because JBL wasn’t able to cheat a win. That’s all.

Already off to a shaky start as champion, he gets a SECOND custom belt. And he releases a rap CD, which would subsequently flop just like The Marine flopped after it was released not too long ago. Since his win, he has held the title for 24-25 months with only 4 months not holding that title. He defeated JBL once again in an I Quit match. He ended Muhammad Hassan’s many month win undefeated streak in less than 2 minutes. He defeated Christian and Jericho in a triple threat match. He defeated Chris Jericho, resulting in Chris Jericho never being seen in WWE again.

Cena: Against all odds

No matter what was thrown at him, he would overcome it. Special guest referee that was against him? Hey, knock him out and count to three yourself. Submission triple threat match with no submission move and two submission experts? No worries—he’ll just apply his first ever submission move and win, and soon it’ll be the most credible submission maneuver in the entire company. Handicap matches? Bring it! Matches no one else could win? THE CHAMP IS STILL HERE. Triple threat match against Kurt ****ing Angle and Shawn ****ing Michaels, two top-name veterans that have won a number of championships and both very credible? Heh, didn’t even break a sweat. Beating Kurt Angle a number of times? Easy! Winning a match where Cena is the only one blindfolded? Well you can see him, but he can’t see you.

By now, the fans were utterly sick of him, and he was getting some of the biggest boos in WWE. Yet, he was supposed to be a super babyface. What gives?

Oh, I know… lets put him in an elimination chamber, pitting him in a diabolical playpen with 5 other superstars and have him start the match. No one starting off an elimination chamber and proceeded to win. But Cena did. Really, I’m not making this up. After getting destroyed, bloodied, battered and fighting for 30-40 minutes, Cena overcame 5 other men and retained. But, the son of a ***** Edge came out, cashing in his Money in the Bank contract and pinned Cena for the title. Edge, a very hated heel, was cheered. Cena comes out acting normal the following night on RAW and arrogantly says he’ll get the title back at Royal Rumble.

Cena: Rocket Ship

Flying into Royal Rumble on a rocket ship, Cena won the title back from Edge, just a few weeks after losing it. Thus proving that Edge’s win was solely based on Cena being practically dead at the end of the Elimination Chamber. It’d be nice if there was more of a fight over the title. Oh well. Also at the Royal Rumble was Rey Mysterio winning the golden ticket to main eventing Wrestlemania after battling it out from the number 2 position and lasting over 62 minutes, setting a new record. Not only did Mysterio dedicate his Rumble win to the recently deceased Eddie Guerrero, but he was going to win the title for Eddie. So what happens? Rey Mysterio wins the title in an 8 minute triple threat match in the third to last match.

Cena: R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me

Leading into Mania, Cena was getting more and more and more boos. People were getting sick of him. HHH seemed like a savior. A former 10 time champion, and the man that always seems to get the upper hand when all else fails. In the main event of Wrestlemania, with HHH losing at the previous two, it seemed as if he’d be closing the show with the title in his arms. Normally when a heel insults the face, the fans boo the heel and rally behind the face. Well, HHH called John Cena a bad wrestler and said that his only moves are pumping up his Reeboks. Guess what? HHH was the most over person that night. He channeled the thoughts of everyone in the building, spoke them aloud and got cheered. You know something is wrong in a situation like that. Worst off, Cena didn’t get one retort. He took those words with his tail tucked between his legs, and muttered off three words that would become infamous to his character. “I respect you”

Cena retained to close out Mania, which completely overshadowed Mysterio’s title win. John Cena then defeated HHH and Edge in a triple threat match at Backlash. Cena later lost the title to Rob Van Dam who also cashed in his Money in the Bank contract. Cena was defeated on RVD’s old stomping ground at Two Night Stand, with the help of Edge, of course. Can’t have Cena lose clean you know. But also of course, Cena was only losing the title to set up the new ECW, because RVD won the ECW title simultaneously.

Blahblahblah, Edge wins it from RVD and then Cena wins it back after about 3 months. And he’s been champion since then, overcoming all odds still.

Edge beat up Cena’s dad and then tried to kill him, but it’s cool—John Cena still respects him. John Cena ended Umaga’s giant winning streak, and then defeated him once more in a last man standing match. He also submitted Chris Benoit in 5 minutes.

At Wrestlemania 23, Cena faced off against a motivated Shawn Michaels in the main event. Again, Cena retained. So that’s one US title win, one WWE title win, and two main event WWE title retains. Being successful in three straight Wrestlemania title matches is unheard of in WWE.

His only clean loss in forever was not long ago to Shawn Michaels on RAW, when the title wasn’t even on the line. It was a great match and a great **** you, courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment.

In a day where fans are begging for characters with shades of gray, John Cena is your all American GI Joe, and he salutes you. And he respects you. His one dimensionality is killing him. WWE covers it up by saying that he’s very controversial. He’s not controversial. He’s not the ace in the hole that they thought he would be, and they keep pushing him as something that he’s not and a lot of people are very fed up with it.

People compare him to Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin, due to their title reigns and how they were rarely defeated. But, there’s a big difference here. Hulk Hogan was a hero. Austin, being the casual every day guy, and kicking the **** out of his boss—he was a hero. John Cena.. hero? No. He’s just a guy that got over and subsequently over pushed.

With Hogan and Austin, the moons aligned properly and everything just sort of clicked. The result is that it worked. With John Cena, the moons began aligning and instead of striking when the iron was hot, they struck before the iron was hot enough and they’ve been striking since. The iron has cooled down, and they keep striking it. Well, that’s not going to get them what they want. Eventually they’ll cause irreparable damage.

John Cena is an excellent performer, which I give him credit for. It’s common to hate the wrestler’s wrestling when you hate the man, and it’s very understandable.
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