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Old 05-05-2007, 08:25 PM   #2
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Default Re: John Cena: A history and why I hate him


-He usually gets a very loud reaction, whether good or bad

-The fans are emotionally invested in what he’s doing

-Overall selling is generally very good

-Above average sense of psychology and timing

-Both FU and STFU are very over


-Often disregards limb work in exchange for an exciting comeback, or sometimes he just forgets. While overall it doesn’t hurt the match, lesser wrestlers will often be consistent with selling which in the end hurts Cena a bit.

-A lot of the time he just makes the title seem like a prop. He doesn’t seem to be emotionally attached to it like he should. Yeah, he’s happy that he’s champ.. but he doesn’t show it as often as he needs to. An example of this is Backlash. He was knocked the **** out by Michaels’ superkick, and woke up as champion. Where was the “oh thank ****!” expression on his face? He just acted like he always does, with holding up the title and showing he’s the champ. You almost lost your title.. aren’t you thankful you kept it? When he won the title back from Edge in the TLC match, it was the same deal—he was extremely unenthusiastic when he won. Stuff like that really makes the match seem like a waste, because it just shows how obviously booked it is, rather than suspending your disbelief.

-John Cena the person, not the wrestling character, seems too confident in his position. It just seems like he knows that the WWE will revolve around him for a good long time, so he’s gotten very comfy and it reflects in his wrestling character. I know some people are going to call bull**** on that statement, so I’ll clarify. Very, very few wrestlers can stay in character 100% of the time and often add personal “touches” from their real life persona. Just like someone fighting for ROH bookings will go above and beyond their character and truly add their personal heart into what they’re doing because they want that spot, John Cena is comfy knowing he’s not going anywhere.

-Just like facial expressions and mannerisms can make a good match a great match, his comical/cartoon style can make a good match an average match.

And to quickly recap the timeline of John Cena..


-Becomes rapper


-Defeats Chris Benoit, Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Big Show
-Main events Backlash vs. Brock Lesnar for WWE title
-Survives Survivor Series with Chris Benoit


-Wins US title at Wrestlemania from Big Show
-Gets custom US title belt
-Begins filming The Marine, which he stars in.


-Defeats Booker T, Kurt Angle, Kurt Angle & Shawn Michaels, Christian and Chris Jericho
-Defeats Jericho, sending him away from WWE forever
-Defeats JBL for WWE title at Wrestlemania
-Gets custom WWE title belt
-Releases his own rap album
-Ends Muhammad Hassan’s 9 month win streak in less than two minutes


-Loses WWE title after Edge cashes in his MITB contract
-Wins title back within a few weeks
-Submits HHH in Wrestlemania main event, retain WWE title
-Defeats HHH & Edge, Angle & Michaels
-Loses title to RVD, setting up the new ECW
-Gains title back from Edge


-Ends Umaga’s 10 month winning streak
-Submits Chris Benoit in 5 minutes
-Defends title against Shawn Michaels in Wrestlemania main event and retains
-Clean pinfall loss to Shawn Michaels when title wasn’t on the line
-Retains against Michaels, Edge and Orton at Backlash via “luck”

Look at that timeline. Can you see why I hate him? He’s had everything handed to him on a gold platter, and while he may deserve some of it there is no way that he has deserved all of it. He’s clearly been overpushed and he’s not the ace that Vince wishes he was. He’s not the man to bring WWE into a new era, and while he gets large reactions he’s not setting the world on fire. He’s just a guy that came out of nowhere and has no business suddenly becoming the most dominating WWE champion in years. He just hasn’t earned it and he’s not the right man for the job.

And thus..

I hate John Cena.

This has been brought to you by Heilige.

Thanks go out to Kool-Aid for providing such a tasty beverage to keep me hydrated during my rant, Marlboro Medium brand cigarettes for keeping my head straight, Nine Inch Nails for providing excellent thinking music, and WWE for ****ing my enjoyment of wrestling right up the ass.
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