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Old 01-07-2009, 04:14 PM   #1
gotbacon23
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Default i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

i proposed to my girlfriend over christmas and she said yes. now we are planning a wedding and all that nonsense. she is doing most of the work (thank god), however i am keeping an eye on the money situation. her parents are paying $25,000 for the wedding but we have to pay for anything more than that in case we go over. and by "We" i mean me, cause she doesnt have too much money in savings but i do. so, as you probably guessed, im trying really hard to stay below $25,000 (in fact, i want to be way below that cause we get to keep the diffrence). i just have no clue how much crap should cost. we have a venue already:

http://www.hillsboroughwine.com/

booking that was $5,000 out of the $25,000 but we have nothing else so far. i have no clue how much crap is supposed to cost. we are inviting 120 people and this caterer told us we needed to have 1 waiter for every 8 people (15 waiters total). and the waiters cost $30 an hour and they would need 8 hours of work (prep, set up, serving)... thats $3,600 JUST for WAITERS not even including the food! is that just me, or doesn't that sound absurd? why can't a waiter serve more then 8 people??? thats ridiculous. we havent commited to that caterer yet, so we are just trying to see if thats the going rate.

also, the DJ we first contacted said he was $1,000 for a night: is that a lot or is that the going rate?

anyway... any married ISHers, any advice to save money on weddings, but also trying to give my fiance a nice one? any horror stories? any help/advice would be appereciated cause we don't know what we are doing.
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:16 PM   #2
Posterize246
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

$30 an hour to be a waiter? I need a career change.
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:18 PM   #3
gotbacon23
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

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Originally Posted by Posterize246
$30 an hour to be a waiter? I need a career change.

i think its complete B.S. its a waiter at a friggin wedding. they don't get drinks (there is a bar and people get their own) and they dont even take orders cause there isn't a choice... yet they get 30 bucks an hour just to bring out plates??
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:20 PM   #4
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

I'm not married, but I think you're spending too much money on a wedding. Big cakes and a lot of people free loading off of you isn't going to make your marriage last. Good luck though.
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:23 PM   #5
gotbacon23
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

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Originally Posted by RoseCity07
I'm not married, but I think you're spending too much money on a wedding. Big cakes and a lot of people free loading off of you isn't going to make your marriage last. Good luck though.

i agree that its a lot of money but its her parent's money up to $25k... i would NEVER spend that much money myself (not even close), but if its given to us for this purpose then we might as well use it haha
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Old 01-07-2009, 05:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

Man is this bringing back memories. I found that the rule of thumb on wedding costs is: take what you think it's worth, triple it, and you're in the ballpark. The whole wedding industry is a scam. But, what can you do? Obviously her folks are expecting something good and 25K is an extremely generous gift. I'd shop around a bit with the caterer though. When I got married, most would charge a flat per-person fee. Be careful who you invite too because you get charged for people who don't show up and for ass clowns who bring uninvited people with them.

Oh, and congratulations dude.
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Old 01-07-2009, 06:05 PM   #7
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

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Originally Posted by rufuspaul
Man is this bringing back memories. I found that the rule of thumb on wedding costs is: take what you think it's worth, triple it, and you're in the ballpark. The whole wedding industry is a scam. But, what can you do? Obviously her folks are expecting something good and 25K is an extremely generous gift. I'd shop around a bit with the caterer though. When I got married, most would charge a flat per-person fee. Be careful who you invite too because you get charged for people who don't show up and for ass clowns who bring uninvited people with them.

Oh, and congratulations dude.

thanks. yeah, we are being very careful with who we invited. it sucks for her because she can't invite all of her cousins and her family is giving her crap for it. she has 8 aunts and uncles and they all have kids, so its just so many people on her side. for me... i have 0 uncles, and 1 aunt... and my aunt has no kids... so i dont have to dissapoint any of my family by not being able to invite them haha.
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Old 01-07-2009, 06:36 PM   #8
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

my advice if you are under 25 years old...get married in a court house and take her parents $25k...

go buy a nice car or something instead...down payment on a nice house, ect

if you are older then do whatever you fell is best...
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Old 01-07-2009, 06:40 PM   #9
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

holy sh*t.. ive been to 1 wedding in my life and i had no idea they were so expensive

primetimes idea isnt bad by the way haha.. maybe not a courthouse but just some small place
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Old 01-07-2009, 06:44 PM   #10
gotbacon23
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

Quote:
Originally Posted by -primetime-
my advice if you are under 25 years old...get married in a court house and take her parents $25k...

go buy a nice car or something instead...down payment on a nice house, ect

if you are older then do whatever you fell is best...

i am under 25 (i'm 24), but her parents are giving us the 25k for the wedding and expect us to use it for that. if we spend less then 25k, then we can keep the difference, but they do not want us to use NONE of it whatsoever for it. im good with the car and a place to live though. ive already bought a house with my own money and we both own cars flat out (no car payments, not leasing, etc, etc). thanks for the good idea but it wont happen haha.
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Old 01-08-2009, 04:23 PM   #11
picc84
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

Motherfuccers will spend near 30 g's on a wedding and then get divorced because of financial problems. Sh!t just don't make no sense...
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Old 01-08-2009, 04:27 PM   #12
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

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Originally Posted by picc84
Motherfuccers will spend near 30 g's on a wedding and then get divorced because of financial problems. Sh!t just don't make no sense...

And it never will make sense to us guys. It's a total chick thing, one of the pinnacles of their lives.
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Old 01-08-2009, 04:31 PM   #13
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

Quote:
Originally Posted by gotbacon23
i am under 25 (i'm 24), but her parents are giving us the 25k for the wedding and expect us to use it for that. if we spend less then 25k, then we can keep the difference, but they do not want us to use NONE of it whatsoever for it. im good with the car and a place to live though. ive already bought a house with my own money and we both own cars flat out (no car payments, not leasing, etc, etc). thanks for the good idea but it wont happen haha.



Many hotels have nice ball rooms, and the price per head includes the service. That is BS to also pay for the staff. When I got married, it was say $65 a head or whatever...that included the meal and service.

We also hired a wedding planner that rented decorations. Instead of you paying like $50 or some BS for a centre piece, you get it for way less, don't have to set it up or take it down. Our wedding was off the hook, but it's becasue we rented it all. If we had to buy it all, even on a $25k budget, you wouldn't get nearly as nice decorations. She did all the flowers too. She wasn't even that expensive to hire...maybe like $1000 or something. She obviously made money off the rentals. Rented the chair covers with her too. Saved a boat load that way.

$1000 for a DJ is fine. $500 for a cake I think.....can't remember....my wife did most of the planning.
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Old 01-08-2009, 04:36 PM   #14
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

Quote:
Originally Posted by RapsFan
$500 for a cake I think.....can't remember....my wife did most of the planning.

That's about right. Can you believe that? $500 for a fucking cake that you will probably only take one bite out of. WTF do they put gold dust in the flour? But, she's gotta have it.
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Old 01-08-2009, 04:57 PM   #15
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Default Re: i got engaged over christmas: wedding cost questions

Weddings generally cost what you can afford..... You can put together a wedding for whatever price you need to...

personally I think the best idea is to go to an all inclusive resort... Me & my wife went to Jamaica(sandals) and if I remember correctly the whole thing cost about 4000.... but it was well worth it... you dont pay for a thing during your whole stay and the place is A+.

The other thing is to invite as many people as you can to your wedding.... I went to jamaica so not many people could fly out there, but we had a big reception when we came back and invited everyone we could think of...

more guests = more money....

invite your friends, invite your friend's friends, your momma's friends if you can..


but first and foremost ..... let her have her way and every thing will be fine
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