the following is a true story, no fabrications. let me preface the following story with this brief introduction about my sexual past.
i have had very healthy sexual relationships, to the point they have been unhealthy. historically, i am sexually active but do not have a monogamous partner atm. this will all be important regarding the situation i was in about 30 mins ago. i have paid a prostitute, one time, in the Philippines, they are more like dancer/escorts who flirt with patrons in karaoke bars. it was no street type of deal on the backstreets of manilla. this was the much more clean area of cebu... well its all dirty in reality. in the states i have picked up girls and got at it pretty quick, there was never an exchange of money. anyways, there is no shame in my game, so if you subscribe to Pat Robertson's newsletter, you do not need to respond.
i currently live in ______ ca, a hellhole near fresno that offers nothing of cultural significance. except country music, and i hate that shti. anyway, i met a couple of my friends at a Pho restaurant in the heart of the dubious area. its basically an area of ill repute and drastic social problems that you would see in such sprawling semi-urban armpit. we get out at about 10:30 and i watch them smoke a blunt. i rarely ever smoke anymore and i was ridiculously full. we separate at about midnight and all go our separate ways.
i am alone in an area notorious for myriad crimes and decide to waste some time and gas observing the vast degradation of the area. i had borrowed supreme clientele from my friend and did not mind creeping around. skimmed the radio news, props to billy clint. during my meandering, never did i think, prowl, look to scoop some street meat.
so... after observing the profound degradation of the surrounding region, i stop at a gas station on the ave, i get a drink and give the change to a young woman behind me who was short for her purchase. it was literally like 17 cents. i leave the store, she catches up at that same moment. bithc is carless, careless and clingy. nobody is waiting for her, she is posted by the phone... when was the last time any of you used a pay phone?.
she is a petite latina, with a nicely proportioned body, curves no real belly. she is attractive, young, clothing looks presentable; she is not wearing a thong and tight t-shirt with no bra. she also has a cell phone. i thought she was early twenties. she reminded me of the pornstar jasmine byrne. this did not help the situation.
she says "i like your car". i never hear this, i drive a fukcin 07 prius, it pulls no *****es. we yap alittle, make small talk, eventually she asks me for a ride. in my mind, im thinking, play the most sexual cd i have.
sadly, the most sexual cd i had was ... nothing. nothing sexy, so i played the sexually explicit gfk anthem childs play. explicit yet playful, not too threatening. but did i really give a fukc, this shrew probably was given 10$ bjs by the dumpster.
a cute little thing, obviously no self esteem, telling her entire story. a 19 year old who moves between ______, la and las vegas. shes telling me about family problems, man problems, etc. i am giving the proper stock responses. we are talking and driving, i ask her where do you want me to take you?
she tells me to turn off the ave and into the cut... i say, "where do you want to take this" she points to a dark alley, extremely shady. "i like this spot" she mumbles sinisterly. she asks if she can drink some of my freshly opened mango lemonade (shti is good), i gulp as much as i can before passing it and say of course.
so we are alone, shes pouring out her heart, suddenly i turn off the engine (cant hear that **** anyway) and lights and see what she will say. my pensi was now doing all the thinking, her homeboys could have robbed me blind. suddenly, she takes out what she bought from the store... a box, repeat, box of condoms. i make an absurd comment about not like haed with prophylactics to see what she would say, just to test her. she opens the condom...
this is where it gets weird. she pulls down my mesh shorts (yeah, thats right), approves, and says i don't put it on for you... shes eying my limp junk, no foreplay no sweet nothings, nothing. i put it on slowly, thinking she is either a no fuss prosti or a big time psychopath. either way, i gotta let one out.
at this point, there has been no exchange of money, no gimme a bj for a ride and 17 cents, nothing. on top of that, she looks increasingly good as i see what a nympho she is. i won't get into the details, but she was not good at what i thought was her trade... however, she let me be peeerrttty aggressive even though she kept inquiring about when it would be over. lol.
after a while, she had restarted a few times, i see 2 black shadows in the back of the alley. thank god it i could exit straight, but of course i waited til i was done and bounced.
so im expecting to have to fork over some money, for what i am expecting was getting some dome from a ridiculously pretty hooker. instead she says, drop me off at a different spot. i bring her to that spot and say, you forgot your lemonade, she says "thats yours, keep it." ..... ***** are you dumb? you just gave me haed and probally all the other shady johns in the area..i reiterated, take it, she says "no my friend wouldn't like that". your friend eh, well tell bishop don juan's little moneymaker did not collect. what an ambiguous slut. anyway i later threw the drink out of course. should have given it to my neighbor..
so she gets out, i say "i'll see you around, is this your spot?" she retorts "what does that mean?"
hmmmmm, bithc you tell me!
for those who don't know, picking up down and out girls is very easy, especially where I have lived, so if you think i'm so deviant, oh well.
the question is, since i did not pay her, did not get her #, what the hell just happened? is she a nympho or just a terrible hooker (you don't ask me for any money?????). and to let you know, i would have paid, no shame in my game, she just didn't ask. in retrospect, it was a hilarious situation. maybe it was the ghostface that got her in the mood. if she was not such a hoecake i would have at least asked for the number, but ya know... her ***** per day was probably very high.
judge me all you want, but that was a very memorable situation.