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Old 08-26-2010, 06:20 PM   #1
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Default A Letter to John Madden from Washington Redskins Long Snapper Ethan Albright

http://loot-ninja.com/2007/08/23/a-l...than-albright/



I thought it was pretty funny. Never really thought about where they come up with the ratings in categories that a specific position never uses
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Old 08-26-2010, 07:00 PM   #2
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Default Re: A Letter to John Madden from Washington Redskins Long Snapper Ethan Albright










lol.
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Old 08-26-2010, 07:11 PM   #3
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Default Re: A Letter to John Madden from Washington Redskins Long Snapper Ethan Albright

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riddler









lol.
lol that makes it that much better
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Old 08-26-2010, 07:36 PM   #4
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Default Re: A Letter to John Madden from Washington Redskins Long Snapper Ethan Albright

This was one of the funniest things I've ever read. I read it like, 10 times, and laughed my ass off each time.

Absolutely incredible.
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Old 08-26-2010, 07:36 PM   #5
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Default Re: A Letter to John Madden from Washington Redskins Long Snapper Ethan Albright

I think I remember reading that a couple years back...

still made me LMAO though...

Quote:
Itís also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. ****, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod ďHe Hate MeĒ Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?
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Old 08-26-2010, 08:31 PM   #6
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Default Re: A Letter to John Madden from Washington Redskins Long Snapper Ethan Albright

Old but still hilarious.

my favorite parts:

Quote:
Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). **** me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Letís see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While Iím at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

Quote:
My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass.
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Old 08-28-2010, 02:12 AM   #7
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Default Re: A Letter to John Madden from Washington Redskins Long Snapper Ethan Albright

I miss the Red Snapper!!! this is epic amongst Redskin Nation
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