The Onion (satire) reports: Since leaping over Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard to claim his second NBA dunk title Saturday, 5-foot-9 New York Knicks guard Nate Robinson has apparently dedicated himself to the sole task of jumping over Howard as the 7-footer goes about his daily life. According to Howard, Robinson bounded over him roughly two dozen times on Tuesday alone, most notably while the All-Star center was putting gas in his car, as he was standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, immediately after he woke up in the morning, two minutes later when he was taking a shower, and right afterward as he began to shave. “I can’t do anything without that guy jumping over me,” said Howard, who glanced over his shoulder every few seconds during his press conference Wednesday. “He’s everywhere. When I took my mom to her doctor’s appointment last Monday, at church communion, and every time I get off my couch to put in a new DVD. And I watch a lot of DVDs.”
