Lamar Odom needs a job

Los Angeles Lakers free agent forward Lamar Odom needs to make up his mind and sign NBA contract. He’s basically down to either re-signing with his championship-winning squad or jumping ship for a bit more financial security and joining Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat.

The following is “educated speculation” as to what the versatile, talented veteran is likely to do:

1) 60% chance he re-signs with the Lakers, for a slightly shorter contract that he reportedly wants.

2) 35% chance he ignores the fact that he just won a championship, leaves town, joins D-Wade on the Heat for a more secure contract but very little shot at a title.

3) 3% chance something unexpected happens, like a sign-and-trade placing him with another team somewhere. I can’t even guess who that may be.

4)  1% chance he decides to imitate Stephon Marbury and starts his own webcam broadcast where day and night he yells and screams about haters, proves he’s not crazy by eating vaseline, dancing and crying a lot, and rants that you can’t put him in a box, while laughing a lot.

5) 1% chance he retires from basketball and becomes a farmer in rural Kentucky, taking up wearing overalls and a straw hat while becoming a hardcore country music fan.

But seriously, I’m told he’s more likely to stay with the Lakers than join the Heat.

- Jeff Lenchiner, editor of