By Answerman

The Answerman has been participating in fantasy leagues since the last "most boring finals" - Knicks vs. Houston, 1994.

Editor's note: I'm firmly against the stripper references in this article. Unless you're amused by them, as I was. In which case I'm just kidding and not against them at all. But if they offend you in any way, and you're someone extremely important in the media or sports world, then naturally I'm offended as well.

It's remarkable how people consider close and competitive finals to be boring. It's fine from laymen who tune into basketball once a year to see stars fly around the court, but from an ESPN or CNNSI person, who are supposedly "experts," it's very disappointing.

In any event, this will be my last column until my fantasy draft preview for next season. I hope you've all enjoyed my pieces. They hopefully have helped you win your fantasy leagues as well as improved your sex life (naturally I hope for greater improvement in the latter than the former).

To end the season, I just want to write some things we've learned:

Duncan and Garnett are absolute fantasy studs and should be #1 and #2 in next season's draft.

Chris Webber will not play all 82 games in a season.

Antoine Walker has played too many minutes over the last two seasons to be effective at the end of the season (very important if you intend to be in your league playoffs).

Rasheed Wallace is never as good as his draft position but he is probably the wittiest player in the league. Both teams played hard.

Karl Malone is still worth a roster spot.

Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Troy Murphy, Carlos Boozer, Kurt Thomas and Antawn Jamison are good scorers and rebounders and that's it. Like a stripper with two good moves. We like the moves, but you really want to see more.

Elton Brand and Pau Gasol are both good scorers and rebounders and surprisingly good shot blockers.

Kenyon Martin and Tony Parker have some very good games and some very bad games. Don't draft either too high and keep a close eye on both.

ABC has no idea what to do at halftime. Joel Siegel doing a summer movie preview?

Nothing is ever as good or bad as Bill Walton makes it seem.

Kidd is the best point guard in the league, both statistically and practically. He should be drafted before Kobe Bryant or Tracy McGrady but probably after Shaq.

Chauncey Billups is good, but very injury prone. The "nice" girl who is always too sick to hang out with you and your friends.

Gilbert Arenas is good, but not as great as he thinks he is. He is like the girl who just had her extreme makeover and is now "too hot" for her boyfriend. You're still not THAT hot.

Steve Nash's stats are not as good as everyone thinks they are. He barely averaged 7 assists and a steal. Bra-stuffer.

Westcoasters' women will more likely sit through a finals game because it's over at a decent hour. We eastcoasters only have them through halftime.

Shaq will not play all 82 games in a season. He is still the only center in the league.

However, Jamaal Magliore, Rasho Nesterovic (sort of), Yao Ming and Eddy Curry are coming around.

K.C. of K.C. and the Sunshine Band is white.

Tracy McGrady and Kobe Bryant are both great. Everyone who drafts Kobe should pray that Shaq sits. Everyone who drafts McGrady should pray that Hill plays.

Never draft Grant Hill or Vince Carter again. No matter what anyone says. They will not play 82 - and probably not even 60 - games again.

Statistically, Ricky Davis wasn't far behind McGrady and Bryant this season, but he'll fall further behind them next season. The hot girl in the office, before the really hot new hire comes around. She just doesn't look that good anymore.

Jason Richardson is very good when no one is playing defense. Kerry Kittles, Aaron McKie, and Cuttino Mobley are inconsistent. Allan Houston and Richard Hamilton can only score.

Reggie Miller is done. He is the old stripper still hanging around the club, the body still looks good, she has 6 or 7 moves, but no one really wants to see them.

If fg% doesn't count in your league, you can draft Iverson or Pierce ahead of McGrady and Bryant - based on need and personal preference. Girls who are not that pretty but try really hard to be agreeable. Definitely worth the effort.

Good luck to you all enjoy the summer and remember...if you have any questions, ask the Answerman@insidehoops.net.