NBA BASKETBALL
Mother, My Shoe's Untied!
<January 3, 2002>

By The Red

A droll look at the adorable rookie children of '01 - '02, as well as the few grown-ups.

The tale of Farmer NBA's impressive 2001 - 2002 bumper crop of talented rookies is a bizarre one. Okay, I'll cede to the fact that in three or four or five years, my present word will be somewhat worthless, but right now, what I see with my very own eyes is a flourishing of the under-regarded and a smouldering of the highly regarded. The top ten picks really have only two players that have lived up to their statuses thus far, and they both happen to be starters on the same Memphis Grizzlies team (look, a silly team name... we all know that Memphis is crawling with wild bears).

Somewhat ironically, the Memphis team in itself holds the same status of some of the other eight little ones graced with a top ten selection: they may be pathetic now, but in a handful of years, they could be something to see. So! Without further ado, here comes the report you've all been waiting for (although you didn't know it): the Just-Past-the-Quarter-Mark-NBA-Rookie-Report (commonly known as the "JPTQMNBARR", pronounced "Jipputkuminibar").

First up, a feast upon the flesh, misfortune, and rare fortune in the first ten picks!

1 Kwame Brown- Ah, ah, Kwame Brown. The baby big guy from Glynn Academy was selected by the best of the best, Michael Jordan. So, Kwame's shown flashes... he's, uh, big, can shoot sometimes, and rebound. So, Kwame, being Jordan's selection over other candidates, is Jordan's favorite baby Wizard, right? Uh, no. This guy named Christian Laettner was injured, and Coach Doug Collins wanted to play big Kwame, but Jordan asked (and had) Collins for #20 Brendan Haywood instead. Ouch. But hey, check back in four years, and Kwame should be slamming orange spheres on players' noggins while laughing maniacally.

2 Tyson Chandler- Another one of those big high schoolers. The LA Clip Show drafted him and tossed him into NBA hell (Chicago Bulls), and were even able to steal powerful power forward Elton Brand in return. The respective teams have fared thusly: if the playoffs started today, the Clip Show would have a playoff spot. The Bulls are the worst team in the NBA. Despite this, Tyson (and our next "Baby Bull", pick #5) has shown some goodness during the little time he's had to play. He does look rather promising in terms of his ability, and could play as well as Pau Gasol with extended time next year. Wow, did I just say that?

3 Pau Gasol- Aha! I can take a momentary rest from talking about the future to talk about the present. Pau Gasol has been a great spark for the promising (yet currently unproductive) Memphis Grizzlies. Gasol has averaged 15.1 points and 8.0 rebounds per game, both tops amongst rookies. This young 'un came from Spain, where he actually performed worst than he's doing now in the NBA.

4 Eddie Curry- Oh, time to get back to talking about the future. Eddy Curry has been rather disappointing this season. Although, much of his raw potential has been prevented from growth due to miserable Bulls coach Tim Floyd's reluctance to play him or Tyson Chandler. However, now that Floyd has left the Bulls (he would have sommitted seppuku in ancient Japan) and could be replaced by Bill Cartwright, an assistant whose main task has been to develop the Baby Bulls, both Eddie and Tyson could get more minutes and be more productive.

5 Jason Richardson- A ridiculously athletic shooting guard who has wowed people with his... potential. Argh, potential. Richardson has been spectacular at times with his nasty crams and his impressive speed, but his jump shot and shot selection do need to be tinkered with. He's still rather good, despite those obvious flaws, with 10.3 points and 2.5 boards per game. Richardson supposedly took 1000 shots per day to improve his jump shot in the offseason. Keep shooting, Jason!

6 Shane Battier- Like the afore-mentioned Msrs. Brown, Chandler, and Curry, Shane Battier hails from the school class of 2000 - 2001. Oh, wait, he went to college. Battier has been an impressive Grizzlies rookie llike Gasol, averaging 14.9 points, 4.9 rebounds, and 2.6 dimes per game. Battier happens to be the only rookie in the top five of each of those categories. With Battier, Gasol, and revitalized veterans Lorenzen Wright and Michael Dickerson (who both played well before being injured), Memphis seems to have a bright future.

7 Eddie Griffin- Drafted by the Nets and then shipped off to Houston for three rookies, Griffin never really had a chance to play well until recently. Against the Lakers on December 20, Griffin dumped 25 points and grabbed 13 boards. Two games later, against Milwaukee, Griffin poured in 24 and grabbed 10. However, to show how poorly he played previous to those two games, his season averages are 5.7 points and 4.0 boards per game, causing me to categorize him as "one of those other eight players in the top ten". Fear not, though, Rockets fans. When Francis comes back (the Rockets have had one win and six trillion losses since he went out), the young group of Stevie Franchise, Cat Mobley, and Eddie Griffin will become a solid group of players for Houston.

8 DeSagana Diop- 0.5 points and 0.5 boards per game! This from the young gun straight from high school that I foolishly thought could be Shaq-like in years to come. Just like another Cavs center, Ziggy Ilgauskas, Diop suffers from tender feet. Maybe if Diop amputated his own feet and put on cybernetic replacements, he could grow into a Dikembe Mutombo in a few years. Gah, more talk about the future! On to the next pick.

9 Rodney White- My dear friend Mr. Amico called this forlorn Detroit pick Randy for two straight weeks. 3.8 points and 1.2 boards doesn't live up to the hype this rookie from Charlotte generated. And it's not that new coach Rick Carlisle doesn't like rookies or anything: 29 year old European veteran/ NBA rookie Zeljko Rebraca has been one of the best rookie suprises this season. I'll close Rodney's profile with the same boring epithet of potential and how good he'll be in a few years. Actually, I'll just skip that sentence and let you make it up yourself.

10 Joe Johnson- Oh, Joe, where art thy game? Johnson started the season red hot, as a front-runner for Rookie of the Year on the best-ranked Eastern Conference team (that's the Boston Celtics, in case you didn't know). Johnson was cruising along the road of rookie success... and then he careened off a cliff into a sea and his car exploded. Johnson hit the feared rookie wall tragically early, and after being hailed as the long searched for Third Scorer after Antoine Walker (how about that 0-11 3 pt. attempt game of his? anyway, back to the topic..) and Paul Pierce (I should say Paul Pierce first, since he's been the better one), people are still looking for Johnson to resurge and produce like the did for the first part of the season.

Tired of reading my boring thoughts yet? Too bad! Now, I'm going to throw a good number of rookies at you who have risen from nothingness to rookie prestige! Haha, the laugh is on you, sucker! On with the show!

13 Richard Jefferson- Richard Jefferson has been a valuable athletic asset for the New Jersey Nets, with 7.8 points and 3.6 boards per show. However, the stats don't tell the whole story. Jefferson's defense has also been of value to the Nets, and his athleticism fits right in with Jason Kidd's flowing offense. Jefferson's not a likely Rookie of the Year candidate, but he is valuable nonetheless.

20 Brendan Haywood- People called him "soft" in the preseason, but he's been fierce since coming back from an early injury. Haywood has been called the best center on the Wizards roster, and he may be the best center from this year's batch of rookies. With an impressive 8.2 points and 7.6 points, Haywood's proven himself to be a tough rookie center. Perhaps coincedentally or perhaps not, the Wizards have been on a tear since Haywood returned from his injury.

27 Jamaal Tinsley- WOW. "No work ethic!" they said. "Bad attitude!" they said. Tinsley slipped all the way to pick #27 after being projected to be selected in the lottery. The Pacers are now starting their explosive point guard. I see him vaguely as a more atheltic version of a young Mark Jackson. Isaiah Thomas, the Pacers' coach, sees him as a young version of himself. That's impressive, considering that Thomas was a good baller in his days with the Bad Boy Pistons. Tinsley leads the rookies with 9.2 assists per game, which is also among the NBA's top five, and also contributes 10.1 points per game and 4.3 boards per game. A great pick with a strong chance of being the rookie of the year.

28 Tony Parker- Another point guard drafted really late who has proven to be really good. The Frenchman of San Antonio exploded when he first received the starting job for the Spurs, but has slightly simmered down since then. Nevertheless, Parker has proven to be a capable passer, runner, and shooter and averages 10.8 points and 4.3 dimes per game. He's not as tough or as skilled as Tinsley is... but he's only 19 years old.

24 (1999) Andrei Kirilenko- The Russian whose initials are AK and whose number was made 47 by some clever little imp in the Jazz front office. My take on "AK 47" is that Kirilenko was drafted in 1999 and given this clever nickname in order to give him a catchy name for fans to call out in the Next Era (post Stockton and Malone). So far, "AK 47" (I'll indulge the Jazz brass with this use of their oh-so-clever creation) has shown that he will be a powerful-- wait, no, good-- player in years to come. At times, he looks like a running stick man... before he pulls a move, drives into the lane, and throws one in off the backboard. His 9.8 points and 5.7 boards aren't too bad for a team where StocktontoMalone reigns supreme, followed by Donyell Marshall.

ND Zeljko Rebraca- The undrafted free agent from Europe isn't a flashy stats player, but still contributes tremendously to the Team Formerly Known As Stackhouse and Others. Rebraca is a 7.6 point, 4.2 rebound player who defines on-court effort and hustle. Rebraca is an NBA rookie, but he's run with European leagues for ten years; Rebraca is a 29 year old rookie.

I suppose that sums it up for the main players. But before I leave you alone, I'll give you a few names to keep in mind to look out for in future years.

14 Troy Murphy- Murphy's had a strong showing and has proven to be good coming off the bench. He's already a solid middleman and, like all rookies, should get better as his adjustment to the NBA increases.

19 Zach Randolph- Zach dominated rookies in the preseason camps, sometimes being compared to the Mound of Rebound (Sir Charles Barkley). Right now, he's stuck on the Portland Trailblazers. If he was shipped off to a team without major structural flaws that needed a big man, he would be impressive.

25 Gerald Wallace- Wallace is on the supremely talented Sacramento Kings roster, laden (I almost can't use the adjective "laden" anymore) with talent, so he hasn't had much time to grow. It's not as if he needs much growth, though; he's a superior athlete. The 19 year old kid who couldn't start in Alabama has gone off when he's played well, with a 20 point, nine board showing against the Memphis Grizzlies (uh, Battier and Gasol were, uh, just having off-nights).

20 (2000) Speedy Claxton- "Speedy" is fast! He's a great passer, can get in the lane and make shots, and when he goes off, he goes off; when he brings his true "A" game, he creates points at will and toys with his defender. Speedy uses his small 5'11" frame to his advantage. At the beginning of the season, with Allen Iverson out, Speedy took control of the Sixers and went off, becoming the first rookie with a strong Rookie of the Year-like show. Unfortunately, he lost every game he played without Iverson. Since Iverson's return, Speedy's time and numbers dwindled. It doesn't help that he's been out since December 8, but he's still a noteworthy player to look at.

ND Oscar Torres- The Venezuelan guard has tried to take Steve Francis' place with the Rockets, and has partially succeeded with stats, but the Rockets have lost 95 straight games without Franchise (was it 95? six trillion? 13? I keep losing count). However, Torres has been an effective weapon for the Rockets. Torres appears to have the makings of an effective role player rather than a starter.

So, that's it, finally. You'd better appreciate the fruit of my 2+ hours of labor. If not, too bad, you read it anyway! I win!

Now, if InsideHoops.com has the sickness to post this drivel, I'll throw at you something you know you want! How about an analysis of the Sixth Man of the Year candidates? No joke, haha, 'til then, I'm out.