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InsideHoops NBA [Fantasy Basketball] Feb. 5, 2004

Fantasy Basketball Answers




The Answerman is the first and only fantasy basketball and romance advice columnist on the web. He’s here at Inside Hoops to answer all your questions (or at least the interesting ones).


Let’s clean out my over-flowing Inbox.


Dear Answerman:

I have eight leagues, five of them are in first, but I've noticed they have one thing in common: every single team has Fred Hoiberg! I pick him up because his season totals rank is always tucked nicely in the 50s. However, he doesn't seem to actually score, rebound or do much of anything. He barely commits a turnover and has high FT%, but are those misleading stats?


One of my first rules about in-season team management is not to mess with a winner. If you are in first and playing well, don’t start dropping players.

As a result, PT, do not drop Hoiberg. There is chemistry on fantasy teams. It is delicate and you don’t want to mess with it. Hoiberg’s stats are not misleading. He doesn’t do much of anything, but does a little bit of everything and can help in a deep league.

As a final point, please do not join eight leagues. You are spreading yourself too thin. Do two teams. One will be the team you are driving for a title, the other is team you experiment with.


Dear Answerman,

I’m really frustrated at Vin Baker right now. his play drastically dipped and now, after his suspension, should I drop him from my roster or should I give him another chance? ~ Impatient dude

Wrong moniker. If you still have Vin, you are the most patient “dude” in America. Drop him. Drop him now. Drop him before he further pollutes your lineup.


Dear Answerman

I'm sitting 4th in my league and have been offered a trade from the 3rd place team. He offered: Andre Miller and Chris Webber for Tim Duncan and Kirk Hinrich. I have analyzed the offer, but must need a second opinion. Greatly Appreciate Response,


You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan.

(Take it from someone who was talked into trading Duncan a few years back. I now do this as an obsessive compulsive punishment to myself every day.)

You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan. You cannot trade Tim Duncan.



I'm in a keeper league and I'm looking to rebuild my team for the future. I'm going to trade away Chris Webber, Allan Iverson and Stephon Marbury. In return, I can get 6 draft picks and 3 of the following players: Johnson, Joe; Wagner, Dajuan; Nene; Stoudemire, Amare; Richardson, Quentin; Gasol, Pau; Harrington, Al. How would you rank these players, for long term value to a fantasy team?


This is my choice for question of the week. Any question involving a set of rules different than the “standard league” is very welcome.

The safest pick and most valuable on your list - right now - is Pau Gasol. However, Gasol seems to have hit a ceiling at 18 points and 8 rebounds. While those are always welcome contributions, he does not represent big upside.

Wagner and Amare have both struggled with injuries, so I question them as long term prospects. I put Joe Johnson, Al Harrington and Quentin Richardson in a category of future star swings. Best case scenario is that they’ll become McGrady-like, however (since there are so few McGradys) they are more likely to become Michael Finley-like.

Of the batch – best upside goes to Nene. He is huge, has already exhibited good ball-stealing prowess and should become a better rebounder/shot blocker. Nene could turn into an Elton Brand. He could also turn into the next Stanley Roberts, but that's not likely.

Greater upside = greater risk. You make your choice.


Dear Answerman,

What’s your best pick-up line?


A fine, though misdirected, question. Pick-up lines – especially rehearsed ones - do not work. They are transparent and a turn-off. The best approach line is:

“Can I buy you a drink?” It's simple, honest and who is going to refuse free booze?

As an added bonus, based on her response, you can tell whether the conversation is worth pursuing. Here’s how to tell:

If she orders beer, she is cool and you’ll have a good time hanging with her. It may not lead to anything, but who doesn’t want another friend? Maybe she’ll join your fantasy league next year and sleep with one of your buddies.

If she orders wine, unless you are at a pretentious bar where wine is an appropriate bar order, then she is pretentious and you don’t want her.

If she orders a mixed drink, i.e. Long Island Iced Tea, then she is a party girl looking to party. This is not as good as it sounds. She is out to be out, not to be taken home. Unless you want to fund her drinking, dance on top of the bar with her, and get the honor of paying for her cab after she passes out, there is no reason to stick around.

If she orders actual liquor, i.e. brandy, scotch, martini, etc., then it's your call. If you can talk intelligently about scotch, finance and world politics then you are in good shape. If not, then you are out of your league.

If she says, “Whatever you’re having”, you are golden. She is open to suggestion from you as well as being open-minded about the direction her evening will take. If you have a good rap, that is a deal to be closed.

That’s all the time we have. Hope this was helpful and if you have any questions, be sure to ask the


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