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PLAYGROUND BASKETBALL

STREETBALL (return to streetball front)

Playground Basketball


Originally posted Nov 6, 2000

There is a lot to the game of basketball. Whether it's sinking a 3 point shot, or driving to the hole for a difficult lay-up, there is much more to the game than meets the eye. Playing ball with four other men or women takes endurance, stamina, and team-work. The professionals we admire also need to demonstrate skill, poise, and good sportsmanship. Strategy and planning are also big factors in completing a well played tournament.

However, from a pre-college and college sense, things are seen differently. Playing out in the park, Boys & Girls Club gym, or community college court, the above attributes are not yet important. Three other things need to be learned prior to engaging a career with the NBA.

1. Looking GOOD
2. Showing up your opponent
3. Talking trash

This is recommend to be done in order. Talk all the trash you want, it does you no good if your socks are pulled up to your knees and your gym shorts reflect the vintage '70's. Also, looking like your Micheal Jordan reborn, is no excuse for a silent, weak game, of getting stomped by the 5'6" rich kid from up the block. In other words, lets start from the beginning.

1.Looking Good -- Should fit your own personal tastes, color schemes, eye shadow...whatever works best with hair or extracurricular allegiance should suffice. No booty socks for the guys, nor should your under-footwear be long enough to reach your armpits. Men, keep in mind your audience; you should come across as mighty, invincible, sexy, and poetic all at once. Likewise, women should tie their hair back to avoid blundered steals and unsightly tripping. Also, bear in mind YOUR audience. You need to be sexy, able to maintain composure, and flow with the grace of a swan, without ever perspiring.

Quite a demand on both parts, so start planning well ahead of the tip off.

2. Showing up your opponent -- Meaning you'd better have SOME game. Or, at the very least, LOOK like you do. Keep up with your man or protect your zone with your full attention. Don't be afraid to try a steal -- look like your making a whole hearted attempt even if you know that a call to 911 is in the very near future.

Another thing. Call those fouls. Do not be the one that gets steam rolled over, brushes themselves off and limps back to there position saying," good play." Being a dominator in the game will prove your knowledge of such. Not to mention -- pissing off other opponents tends to throw off their game, making you look even more skillful.

3. Talking trash -- The ultimate skill needed for the game today. Without this ability, you are lost. Your posture will collapse, your self-esteem will diminish, your game will suffer. You will end up looking like El Grande Chump in front of who knows who. Run that mouth when you make that perfect assist. Ask them what you name is repeatedly when you rob them for The Rock and their wallet. (Not a betting reference) Let them know where you stand on every fouled play and missed pass, and shun away those few times a mistake comes your way with a typical," Yeah, Whatever You Say."

With that, you should be on your way. Heed the above well, lest you be ridiculed for the rest of your now shortened basketball career; before it even began! I will expect nothing less, now, from our future super hoop stars. Go now... and win.

 

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